Friday, December 20, 2013

Gordon Keith on Gift-Giving

Conversions of heart: one man's journey.

The Journey YOU are now on. Go forth and share the wisdom.

Gordon Keith: The Gift of Receiving Gracefully


Gordon: Thank you for being you, and sharing glimpses of the not-radio-guy with the rest of us. ~J

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Elf on the Shelf - A Tongue-In-Cheek Post

A friend of mine posted this picture on her Facebook page this morning. I don't know from where it originated, otherwise I'd give due credit. It's brilliant!
I don't understand the fascination with Elf on the Shelf. I hadn't even heard of it until about five or six years ago, but apparently it's been around for eons. I guess I was such a good child that my mom and dad didn't need to coax me to behave, and I'm raising such good kids that I don't need to trick them to stay on Santa's Nice List. :P 
I almost think this is become more about the parents than the kids, meaning, the creative process of how to change the Elf every night -- where to put him or her. I've seen hanging from the chandelier Spidey-style Elf, reading books to Barbie & friends under the Christmas tree Elf, cooking Elf, and various others. You grown-ups are very creative!
And thanks to all of you Shelved Elves Enablers, My Little One is feeling left out. She keeps asking me how come we don't have an Elf on the Shelf. I keep telling her it's because I shouldn't have to trick her into being a good girl, or I'll use the scare tactic of "isn't it creepy to have a tiny elf trolling around our house while you sleep, getting into things and then freezing when you look at it the next day, acting as if nothing's abnormal about it being in our house and then becoming inanimate when you look at it?" *laughing* Having Santa come one night versus having Santa's elf roaming around our house for a whole month isn't so bad now, is it, you nay-sayers of "lying to your kids about Santa".
Now, those of you reading this who use Elfin Magic, I'm not judging you. This isn't an indictment of your parenting skills, nor is it an indictment of your child's behavior. I'm totally fine with you using it and if it works for y'all -- more power to ya! I'm so busy at this time of year especially, that keeping up with an elf is one less (or shall I say 25 less) thing(s) to do. So, again, it's all about me. #selfish
Merry Christmas, y'all!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Old-souled Children

How do you help a child who is wise beyond her years, trapped in biological childhood to try to enjoy being a kid?

How do you explain to that child that one day, she will grow into her wisdom?

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Jerry the Owner about Jerry the GM

Clearly, Jerry doesn't own mirrors....

Good job, Tim MacMahon (even though it isn't recent)!


And the mediocrity continues.....

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Reform in the Roman Catholic Church? GASP!

Did you feel the mountains crumble?
Are you drowning in tidal waves and tsunamis?
Do you feel the fires licking burns on your skin and soul?

If you do, it might be because the Roman Catholic Church and the Pope is on the brink of destruction!

This is why I'm asking: LOVE!


The mere suggestion of these possible changes are sure to piss off some conservative traditionalists, and may even estrange them from the Church. I'm positive critics will pull out all kinds of vitriol to denounce the Pope and the Church.

That said, it's refreshing to see this Pope (or ANY Pope, for that matter) share publicly, without hesitation, his vision and hope for reaching out to the masses who left the church or aren't in the church due to Canon Law & various church teachings. If, as a Catholic, you truly believe in the Magisterium of the Church, and the Apostolic Succession of the Pope, you'll concede that the changes suggested are THE DIVINE words and beliefs of GOD moving through these Earthly vessels.

If I come under criticism for supporting these progressive ideas and potential changes, I'm willing to fight that fight. Ultimately, why I believe in God is Love. 

God is because I feel Love from God, God asks me to Love Him back and Love Others. If the Church shuns the divorced, those with alternative lifestyles, politicians denied Eucharist for political actions, people in need for various reasons, it's awfully hard for that shunned person to feel Love, and thus know God. How exactly is that One Body?

Even if you don't believe in God -- or any god -- you know LOVE. You feel it and give it an honor it and hope for it and long to give and receive it. You do! And, in the pure source of love is total acceptance. Everyone. Each one of us. Accepted.

So what's so wrong about the Pope saying these words?

So what's so bad about The Roman Catholic Church pouring out more love?



Read Evangelii Gaudium, the Pope's exhortation. I printed out a copy to read. It'll take me a long time, I know, but I'm going to do it!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Never Forget

Dear NY Football Giants,

Thank you for sucking worse than the Cowboys yesterday.

Lifelong Cowboys Fan


Monday, October 28, 2013


Boa and I were headed to Mass yesterday. She's applying her makeup, blending liquid foundation, studying her movements and placement in the tiny visor mirror.  We stop at a red light or two and she applies her gray eyeliner across the top lid with delicate care. She turns to me, showing me those gorgeous caramel colored eyes she has and says, "I'm getting pretty good at this."

I chuckle.

"Yes, you are! The more you do it, the better you get, and the more you'll experiment."

She turns her attention back into the mirror, unscrewing the mascara lid and applicator from the Maybelline tube and begins to paint her exquisitely already-naturally-long lashes.

"Anna says makeup is made just to make you feel bad."

"Awww," I bitterly retort.

There was a pregnant pause.

"You know," I begin, "that's pretty insightful."

"Yeah," Boa calmly said, still lengthening the long lashes, "she's pretty deep like that."


While I don't agree that the original design of makeup was to make a person feel bad; in fact, I think quite the opposite, I can certainly see how a woman would have that thought. I am impressed by Anna's maturity and depth. I appreciate the friendship Boa is developing with her.....just need to meet this girl now. :)

Often times, MLO will ask me why I even wear make up. Why do I have to wear it to work? It's a difficult question to answer. It's hard to say, "baby, just be natural. You're so beautiful the way you are!" and then have them plugged into a society where external beauty is valued.

Living in duality....such is life.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Pink Out Day

I bought this shirt in Las Vegas recently.
I'm generally anti-pink SGK campaign (which, by the way, does not make me pro-cancer!), but I figured I'd loosely participate, mostly so I could show off my new favorite shirt. :p
Love, peace & cancer-free!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Good News!


Not to get greedy, but now if she will only stop smoking....

E-cigs, here I come!

Thank you, God, for your miracle!

Tuesday, October 15, 2013


Today My Mother receives news about her condition. It's been suggested to be good news.


Generous Father,

Thank you for all of your graces, you love, your tender hands. Thank you for your compassion and your miracles.

Father, I pray that today, if it's Your Will, that My Mother hears good news of healing in her body. I pray she has a longer, more full life filled with physical ability and mental sharpness. Please bolster her weaknesses, pouring forth strength. Give her the desire to surrender those things that block her from her best health.

In Jesus' name, I pray.



I love you, mom.  xoxo

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

A Reminder To Be Patient

My mother posted this on my facebook timeline today. I needed to be reminded of her patience, so that I may be patient with her.

Love you, mom.



"My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.

When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love.

I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter."

- Unknown

Hope this serves my own daughters someday when I am old and needing their patience. 

Love you, Daughters!

Monday, September 09, 2013

Let the Games Begin!

Ahhh yessss..... *inhales deeply*

Do you smell it?


Can  you hear it?


Can you see it?


Can you taste it?


Can you FEEL it?



Man, I'm loving today. My Cowboys beat the NY Giants.  Six turnovers and a swarming, aggressive defense has me veryveryexcited this year!

My bold prediction: Cowboys will end the regular season 11-5.


I will NEVER tire of seeing this:

Eli is such a punkbaby.


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Food Matters - Continued

Back in February, I blogged about the evils of Monsanto. Last night, I was directed to the White House Petition website for a different & worthy reason (of which I signed the petition) and started reading through the other pending petitions on the site. Fortunately, I ran across a Petition to ban Monsanto's GMO practices in the U.S.

Please take a few minutes to educate yourself about the history and then sign the petition. The deadline is August 31st, 2013. Many, many more signatures are needed in a short amount of time. Share the link to the White House Petition Website on your social networking accounts: Facebook, Twitter, Linked-In, Tumblr, wherever you can!

Thank you.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit

Boa: If there's a zombie apocalypse, I could totally live off mandarin oranges!*
MLO: I would live off TV, mandarin oranges, nail polish, make-up and probably lo mein.
The more you know.
*electricity, a gun, a samurai sword and the internet.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013


MLO is seven.
Boa is twelve.
I am forty-two.
Driving One Direction ~ HOME ~
Inside the small car,
Six flailing arms
hands reach for The Heights.
We are three girls
singing while smiling
One Voice.
We are,
In this moment,
the same age,
The Best Song Ever.
What a fun memory. I hope it lingers.
Thanks to "The Boys".

Monday, August 12, 2013

Weekend Words with the Wee Wittle One

I haven't seen much of my kids the last few weeks due to summer camp, vacationsawayfrommommy and a broken air conditioning unit, but yesterday I had the good fortune of spending an extended amount of time with My Little One (MLO). She's seven years old. Seven. Remember that.


Walking out of My Mom's apartment to the car, it was quiet then she it me with this factoid:

MLO: Did you know if you step on a fly that red guts squirt out? NO! I mean blue guts. Blue guts squirt out.


*jumping up and down in front of my bathroom mirror, naked, awaiting the shower temperature to be tolerable*

Me: *walks in & catches her and immediately starts giggling* What are you doing, silly?
MLO: *laughing wildly, still jumping*  My pudge jiggles like your pudge, Mommy!

(At least I felt better about my body after hearing that!)


During the consecration of The Host in Mass...

MLO: *whispers* Why doesn't Dracula like the sun?


We're walking to the car from the swimming pool at the end of the evening. We'd just been talking about all things friends and swimming, then there was a pregnant pause.

MLO:  Mama, do you ever wonder why God doesn't tell you how He was created, or where He comes from?
Me:  Yes, I do wonder that sometimes.
MLO: It's like he's keeping a secret. Why would he not want us to know?


I love the inquiring minds of children! These are such perfect moments to be a parent and grow as a person.

Thank you, babygirl!

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Asian Crunch Slaw

I love pot lucks! Don't you? There's a fabulous fusion of cultural dishes. The smells, sights, textures...yes! (And, yes, some of them are notsopleasant, true....)

On Sunday, I had a meeting to attend, and it included a pot luck dinner.  The dish I prepared was quite a success, so to satisfy the request of my "seesters" and to share with the world, below is the recipe (not my own):


Slaw:               4 tsp. Sesame seeds
                        1 cup slivered almonds
                        3 tbsp. butter
                        1 pkg. angel hair cole slaw
                        1 pkg. broccoli slaw
                        4 green onions, cut fine
                        2 pkgs. Ramen noodles (3 oz. size), any flavor, crushed

In large bowl, toss cabbages and onion.  Saute sesame seeds and almonds in butter until almonds have a toasted look.  Caramelize the crushed noodles in skillet with ¼ cup sugar, over medium heat.  Watch very carefully.  Do not let it burn.  Stir often.  Put these 3 ingredients in a bowl to cool; set aside.

Dressing:         4 tbsp. sugar
                        6 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
                        2 tsp. salt
                        1 tsp. pepper
                        1 cup oil
                        2 flavor packets from Ramen noodles

Mix all ingredients together well.  Let stand at least 2 hours or overnight.  Just before serving, add dressing, toasted almonds, sesame seeds and noodles to slaw.  Mix well.

NOTE: I have always used the chicken flavored Top Ramen.



Tuesday, July 23, 2013

World Youth Day: Rio

I love this new Pope!

"We need saints without cassocks, without veils - we need saints with jeans and tennis shoes. We need saints that go to the movies that listen to music, that hang out with their friends. We need saints that place God in first place ahead of succeeding in any career. We need saints that look for time to pray every day and who know how to be in love with purity, chastity and all good things. We need saints - saints for the 21st century with a spirituality appropriate to our new time. We need saints that have a commitment to helping the poor and to make the needed social change. We need saints to live in the world, to sanctify the world and to not be afraid of living in the world by their presence in it. We need saints that drink Coca-Cola, that eat hot dogs, that surf the internet and that listen to their iPods. We need saints that love the Eucharist, that are not afraid or embarrassed to eat a pizza or drink a beer with their friends. We need saints who love the movies, dance, sports, theater. We need saints that are open sociable normal happy companions. we need saints who are in this world and who know how to enjoy the best in this world without being callous or mundane. We need saints."

- Pope Francis WYD Rio De Janeiro 2013


Revolving Door

Ran across this infographic. Sickening.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Moore, Oklahoma

I live in Texas, about an hour south of the Oklahoma -- the Red River. Oklahoma is to Dallas as El Paso is to Juarez, Chihuahua -- they're practically intertwined and even though there's an unspoken discontent, there's a larger respect and harmony that co-exists.

When Oklahoma gets hit by tornadoes, it affects us here in The Big D. So many folks from Oklahoma live here, work here, go to school here. Texans camp and vacation in Oklahoma, some actually (dare I type it?!) go to college there! *gasp* They even *whisper* live there.

We're practically One.


To All Who've Suffered at the Upredictable Fright of Tornadoes,

Please know you're being prayed for, rooted in hope and faith. Humanity uplifts, not destruct, even though media 'teaches' us differently. When times get bad, REALLY bad, like now for y'all, you see and experience the power of the Human Chain.  Sure, there will be hassles from institutions such as insurance companies, hospitals and whatnot, but believe you'll rebound. 

Tornados are nightmarish. I cannot imagine for one second what it is like to be close to one, let alone literally piecing my life back together in the aftermath of one.

My little blog isn't going to help you. I'm here in Texas and though I have a willing heart, I don't have the means to get there to help. But I'll post a link for those selfless, able and/or willing people to show acts of love to you and yours.

Much love and prayers to all of you.


Donate time and energy.

Friday, April 26, 2013

George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum

I'm so excited to be an American, a Texan and a Dallasite today! There's definitely a buzz in the air knowing that all five living presidents are in attendance.


I'm trying to imagine what it must be like to be GWB. And I'm wonder what's going on while spectators and dignitaries are taking seats.

Is Condi there?
Are snarky remarks being made between the presidents?
What will Laura Bush be wearing?
I hope GHWB is feeling well.
I can't wait to see the white-haired, strong matriarch of the family, Barbara.
What must she be thinking -- Barb?

I read that it's the first Leed Certified presidential library. It's also the smallest building on the SMU campus. Don't even go there.....



Thank you, President Obama, for visiting West, Texas today, too.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

April Sucks

I'm so over this week. With all the news, which I deplore watching, has me sad and downtrodden -- even angry! In fact, I'm pretty much over the whole month of April, in general.


April Fool's Day kicks us in the proverbial nuts right off the bat

IRS tax filing deadline - to abscond whatever nuts we might have left

Boston Marathon Bombings

Oklahoma City Bombings

Waco-Branch Davidian Standoff (ended in flames)

Hitler was born

Beginning of the Civil War

Martin Luther King, Jr. assassinated

Rwanda genocides

Apollo 13 met its demise

Abraham Lincoln assassinated

1906 San Francisco earthquake

U.S.S. Iowa bombing



Rodney King verdict & subsequent rioting in Los Angeles

Titantic sinking


In case you want to join me in misery (after all misery and I love company), check this out. April 20th -

There IS good stuff too. You'll have to pick through this list:  The History Place (April).

Monday, April 08, 2013

Mama's Beans

I posted on facebook the following status update earlier this evening:
"Can youuuu SMELL what my CROCK iiiis coooookiiiiiinnnnn??"

If you know who The Rock is, you'll appreciate the twist on his famous "Can you smell what The Rock is cookin'??!!". (Dwayne Johnson is so delicious. Sorry -- sidebar.)

My house smelled AWESOME when I walked in. I cooked some cornbread from scratch and threw some steaks into the oven. Topped off my meal with chilled clementines. Mmm Mmmm MMM!

So a few of my friends asked me to post the recipe. For them and for you, here it is:

1 pound pinto beans
2 cased links chorizo
1 whole small onion
1 clove garlic
Chili powder to your liking
Fiesta Fajita Seasoning to your liking
1/2 tsp oregano
Big pinch of cumin
Salt to your liking
1-2 shakes of Season All

Rinse the beans and place in the slower cooker.

Add enough water to just cover the beans; about 3 cups.

Turn cooker on high and bring the beans to a boil.  Boil 5 minutes.

Shut cooker off and let the beans soak for 1 hour.

Pour off water.

Re-fill pot with water, or half water mixed with half beef broth.

Add all ingredients and turn the cooker on low. Let cook all day (or overnight).

Watch and stir often.

Alternatives: I've added Rotel to add a bit of a kick.  I've also used vegetable broth instead of beef broth. Lastly, you can cook the beans on a higher temperature, just watch them closely! If you're vegetarian, I'm sure there's a worthy chorizo substitute. If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave a comment!


Thanks, Mom!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Monday, February 25, 2013

Respect for Tom Brady

So much this ----->  "To be the highest-paid, or anything like that, is not going to make me feel any better,'' he said in 2005. "That's not what makes me happy. In this game, the more one player gets, the more he takes away from what others can get. Is it going to make me feel any better to make an extra million, which, after taxes, is about $500,000? That million might be more important to the team.'' 


Yeah, Tom Brady said that. He is quoted in this article on


Why can't we have more players like him?? We need more TEAM players in the league -- all leagues, as a matter of fact. 

Troy Aikman was like this, too, which is the genesis of my respect for him. Never mind the Super Bowl rings, the post-season accomplishments, the records and his brilliance in both the Aikman Ratings and his broadcasting, the bottom line is Aikman was (is) a team player.  Brady personifies this in today's game, too.


Brady is a polarizing quarterback; you either love him or hate him. But no one, and I mean NO ONE, can deny his pure talent and eminence. 

Thank you, Mr. Brady, for being a fine example of sports humility, brotherhood, achievement, decency all while being fiercely diligent and competitive. Thank you for modeling what most of the NFL players should be. Lastly, thanks for being fun to watch on the field.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

June, Please?

Here's what I found online today about Farmer Bowman v Monsato at the U.S. Supreme Court hearing from yesterday.

(1) Um, Supreme Court, have you ever heard of Assisted Listening Devices?
(2) This farmer is a giggle -- the hat thing! and the ether thing! and the FREEZER thing! 
(3) Monsato better not win.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Food Matters

Today, the U.S. Supreme Court is going to hear a very important case. Thank you, Justices, for giving Farmer Victor Bowman a listen.

If you don't know about the wickedness of Monsato, educate yourself.

Here's an article to get you started about today's hearing. 


For those of you who have seen me -- all of me -- you know I'm not exactly a lean picture of health.  I'm overweight, sagging. I don't exercise or eat properly.  You might call me a hypocrite for eating one way and "preaching" the opposite. I suppose that's fair.  I'd argue "preaching" is more like "educating".

As a parent, most especially, I want my children to know more than I do, to do better than I did. Isn't that the goal of all of us as parents -- to improve our legacy, to leave a lasting imprint on humanity.  (Childless folks, yes, I know this isn't limited only to parents. You'll hopefully see my perspective/point as you read further.)  

I grew up at a time when high fructose corn sugar (HFCS) was brand new to the big food industry. Of course, big food is looking to reduce cost, so this was a no-brainer sugar substitute.  Research is showing more and more evidence of how the brain and body responds to HFCS, and it's not good. In fact, it's bad, very bad. I'm 100% convinced that the use of this sugar substitute has had a hand in my food addiction.  Yes, my food choices are my food choices and I take individual responsibility for making the good and the bad ones, but growing up, I didn't have the choice. I ate what was put in front of me. My parents didn't know, either. So, no one's to *blame*.  Especially now that I'm an adult, am more informed, I definitely am to blame for my own in/actions.

But I can work hard to empower my kids with knowledge. I can serve them foods that are prepared with the fewest chemicals and preservatives possible. I've worked to remove HFCS from my house; the biggest culprit is soda.  We're eating more gluten-free foods, organic foods. I don't serve canned fruit or vegetables. I buy meats and eggs that are from hormone-supplemented and antibiotic free animals.

Between having BOA (now 12) and MLO (soon to be 7), I learned a LOT about food and ingredients in food. I look back with a bit of regret knowing that MLO got more healthy, pure, raw foods than BOA did.  BOA wasn't breastfed as long (due to my milk drying up as a result of the stress of the death of my father), and when it came time to start baby food, I bought all the crap that's out there. I didn't take organic seriously, plus IT'S EXPENSIVE! I didn't even look at labels. I now know that HFCS is in most all baby food, the affordable kind especially, EVEN THE VEGETABLES! Corn is used at filling for some meats and foods. Ugh. I shudder to think of the shit we're putting in our children. I worry about the future health of America.

MLO was breastfed far longer and I made pretty much all her baby food at home. I boiled carrots, apples, pears, squash, zucchini, and on and on. I put the batches of food in baby jars and froze them.

It might be just coincidence, but MLO eats and asks for more vegetables than BOA does. Certainly age plays a factor right now; it's somehow embarrassing to like vegetables. I pack a fruit, a vegetable, a grain and a protein, along with either bottled water or a veggie/fruit juice. I'm very curious to know how they'll turn out as adults. BOA seems to be making smarter choices and controlling her portions more. In other words, she's taking on more of the responsibility of her own food choices -- and making good ones at that.

I'm horrible at my diet. I'm not horrible at helping others. Hopefully soon, I'll read enough disgusting things to make me actually take personal action. In the meantime, please pray for this farmer to win this case today. Please pray for all people who are affected by bullshit companies like Monsato.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Happy Fake Holiday President's Day

I ran across this article on yahoo dot com's home page.

Now go get yourself a car!

How sad. :(


“Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough. Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower or to the little peanut they will give up their secrets, but I have found that when I silently commune with people they give up their secrets also - if you love them enough”
― George Washington

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Not An Ordinary Valentine's Day

With My Mom undergoing diagnostic testing for cancer in her bones and brain, today, she had a CT scan of the brain. (We hope to know something by Monday.) Today isn't just Thursday. It's not just another doctor's appointment. It's Valentine's Day. And it's cancer.  So, definitely not an ordinary Valentine's Day.  Please keep My Mom in your prayers.


A few years ago, I started a Valentine's Day family tradition. I ordered Chinese food delivery, and broke out the Lenox china and fine crystal goblets. We lit the candles, turned out the lights. I had placed a heart-print tablecloth on our dining room table and that's how and what we ate:  Chinese food on fancy plates, juice in crystal goblets, cloth napkins, by candlelight.

My Valentine's Day Table

I've kept with the ambiance part and the dishes part, but not the food part.  This year, I ran out of time and was a bit sad that maybe we'll just have sandwiches. Then I remembered when I was a kid, My Mom made us peanut butter and marshmallow crème sandwiches.  I decided to stop by the grocery store and buy some marshmallow crème so we can have these crazy sandwiches on fancy china plates.  I had berries and other fruit at home already, which would make for an offsetting healthy option.  While at the store, I bought Promised Land chocolate milk to fill the goblets.

Sounds fun, right?

My car wouldn't start.

I sat in the parking lot of Tom Thumb, waiting. I made a few phone calls, brainstormed, pouted, and prayed. I exhaled - a lotlot. About half an hour passed, and I give the keys a turn and VOILA! Music to my ears!

Marshmallow and crème sammies on Lenox IS going to happen after all! I "lit" the flameless candles - vanilla scented - faaaaaancyyyy, right?

We sat there digesting our silly Valentine's Day dinner and drinks, digesting our day. And although it didn't go as planned, I suspect the memory will be more impactful because of the success in spite of the challenge. Yes, a good day, indeed.


And then there's this:  Gordon Keith's opening the window of the intimacy of love, the unspokenness of what all of us long for....  Thanks, Gordon.

Friday, February 01, 2013

The Pain & The Wait

"It's the pain I don't want to go through," she whined weakly through tears.

As I drove, I reached over and squeezed her frail, aged hand and nodded in agreement.

"I think I'm ready to meet My Maker, but I just don't want the pain."

Yeah, that part. The part that reminds us we're human and not in control. The part that challenges our bodies in order to soar or spirit, purify our heart and mind. That part. The pain part.  The good part. At least it's supposed to be.....

We all know it. We all know cancer has no mercy. It feasts off the sweet in the body and rots the body from the inside out -- turning the into a virtual cavity. (Ultimately, we all are only a shell anyway....)


It's not like no one saw this coming, that eventually The Big C would capture My Mom - a lifelong smoker. Smoking and cancer are very nearly peanut butter and chocolate, or peanut butter and jelly, except not as accidental (or yummy). 

This is the exact situation that is the political wrestling of who to blame: Big Tobacco or personal decision.

Both of these have manifested in My Mom.


Not only has she been told she has lung cancer, there's a possibility that she has bone cancer, too. The PET scan revealed lymph nodes are affected by the two-and-a-half centimeter tumor on her lung. The specific sites of concern now are the right femur and right scapula. The Tiger Woods-like oncologist is requesting an MRI of her brain, too.


"It's the waiting, too.  The waiting is so hard."

It sure is. 

Love you, Mom.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Too Good Not To Share - A Poetic Short Film

Nothing short of gripping, entrancing and humbling, this short film written and performed by Derrick Brown is captivating. There's these quirky funnies and dramatic realizations. It truly covers the gamut of emotions, the gamut of spirituality, humanity, the gamut of you and me.

Grateful that someone shared this with me. Now, I have to share it with you.  I hope it finds a special home inside you as it has me.


Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Guess Who Has Two Thumbs & Basketball Tickets?

THIS GIRL! *happyjackiedance*

Thanks to TravelZoo, I now have an item to cross off my Bucket List!

Side note: I subscribe to too many subscriptions. I don't read even 1/3 of what I receive.  Most of it is subject to "deletedeletedelete". Considering that, it's amazing I even read this one! Because of that, I feel like my transaction is destiny -- it was meant to happen.

Side side note:  MLO has started playing basketball - she's a guard. The cute little first grade girls running around the court is a sight to see (my favorite is #33).
Cutest Guard EVER!
Side side side note:  I love Duke basketball (Coach K is ultimate)! I'm a huge fan of the Longhorns, too, and I tend to keep an eye on UNLV, Gonzaga, Villanova and Vanderbilt.  If my faves are out of the running early, I root for any Texas school first.

Side side side side note:  I live in Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas. It's a booming place with TONS to do.  It's a gorgeous place that has a bit of superstar quality to it (supahstahhhh), which means, DFW attracts a LOT of big-name, high-dollar, super-popular events.  This year, Arlington's own Cowboys Stadium (a.k.a. The Death Star, a.k.a. Jerry World) is hosting the Southern Region Sweet Sixteen NCAA mens basketball tournament!

All of these sides fit together nicely to make *this* bloggerwoman verysohappy because I now have two tickets to see (if the good Lord wills it) DUKE! I won't be disappointed if they aren't in the sweet sixteen because I love college hoops in general, this is a MAJOR sporting event, IN MY TOWN! The best news is: I get to take MLO! I hope this might nurture her interest and passion for playing basketball.


Basketball Zen

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

In Which We Saw A Red Cardinal

Waiting in the phlebotomy lab, My Mom and I had just heard some goodbad news in which she needed blood drawn. We were talking about the words we had just heard from the doctor, how the words were better than she had thought they would be.  I stood next to the sink listening and chatting with her. 

As with most new environments with me, I surveyed the room while listening (I'm sure sometimes I appear uninterested or rude when I do this).  I look down at the items on the counter next to the sink:  paper towels, tissue, magazines, when immediately I noticed a little Christmas decoration pushed up against the splash of the counter.  It was a tin snowman holding a branch. On the branch was a red cardinal. The (no doubt Made In China) artist (air quotes?) painted the tin, so obviously, this cardinal stood out among the white of the snow man.  

I smiled.

I picked it up and showed My Mom.  She smiled too, "hi darlin'", she said. "I might be there as soon as I thought."

She wasn't talking to the bird. She was talking to My Dad. 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Good and Bad and Regret and Promise

Happy new year friends and family and inhabitants of Earth who might happen across my digital path. 


I've reached this year. Frankly, I'm amazed.  Looking back on 2012, I have experienced a most tumultuous and self-rewarding year. Overall, it was one of the most introspective and self-awareness years of my life. I admit I'm glad it's behind me.  While I'm a big believer in good comes from bad, and personal growth, I feel like I've been constantly working and incessantly worked.  It's been exhausting. And wonderful. And confusing.  And somber.  And life-giving. 

I'm very excited for '13. Life experience and academia teaches that I will endure yet more struggle, yet, I'm more hope-filled this year than I have been in a while. 

I've been working in an environment where I've been generally uncomfortable.  Many times I looked back in regret, wondering why I ever left my previous employer. I questioned myself over and over. I even went so far as to ask for my job back only to be met with rejection.  I had a realistic idea that I'd likely not be re-hired, so I wasn't surprised. And, if you know me me or read my blog often enough, you know I'm also a big believer that struggle brings growth and most importantly, TTP, trust the process. I kept that as my mantra to help me make it through most days, and it works. Seriously, it's so freeing to know that I can surrender and still land on my feet.

That said, an amazing professional opportunity has landed in my lap. I start on Monday the 14th. 

Monday the 14th is also the day my mother will be going in for a biopsy to find out more about a mass on her left lung. 


My mother was taken to the E.R. last Monday (5 days ago now...). When I picked her up from her house, she was lethargic, slurring, coughing incessantly. She was so weak and weary, short of breath. She looked and sounded as if she just finished running a full sprint!  In typical fashion, every test under the sun was administered, ultimately resulting in Influenza A. Mom had her flu shot already, yet, there was no escape from this one. The doctors admitted her due to her low oxygen saturation, shortness of breath, fluid on her lungs. She's COPD which complicates everything. She's been on oxygen, in an isolation room. The doctors and nurses wear masks when they come in to assess her. She at least has a nice view out her window, is in a very clean hospital with, in my opinion, knowledgeable and caring staff.  

Back to the 'every test under the sun'....a CT scan and x-ray of the chest were administered and, yes, there's a mass on her left lung.

I'm prepared to hear that it's cancer. I'm not despondent, not like I was with my dad. That's not meant to be offensive or dismissive, nor is it meant to say I love my dad more than I do my mom, or anything like that. It's simply one of those things that I've experienced already, have gained some wisdom, know what to expect to some degree, and can process my emotions a little better.  She's smoked for 60 years. It'd be silly to think she wouldn't potentially have cancer. I don't want her to have it. I don't want her to suffer. I don't want to watch her suffer.  I just know it's a very.real.possibility.

So, pray for her please.

Pray for me as well. Pray for me to have made a wise choice in switching jobs again (I, at my core, am very at peace with the decision and firmly believe this will be permanent for me.). 

I have a lot of tough choices to make, but I feel stronger today than I have in years.

More soon....