Thursday, January 31, 2013

Too Good Not To Share - A Poetic Short Film

Nothing short of gripping, entrancing and humbling, this short film written and performed by Derrick Brown is captivating. There's these quirky funnies and dramatic realizations. It truly covers the gamut of emotions, the gamut of spirituality, humanity, the gamut of you and me.

Grateful that someone shared this with me. Now, I have to share it with you.  I hope it finds a special home inside you as it has me.


Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Guess Who Has Two Thumbs & Basketball Tickets?

THIS GIRL! *happyjackiedance*

Thanks to TravelZoo, I now have an item to cross off my Bucket List!

Side note: I subscribe to too many subscriptions. I don't read even 1/3 of what I receive.  Most of it is subject to "deletedeletedelete". Considering that, it's amazing I even read this one! Because of that, I feel like my transaction is destiny -- it was meant to happen.

Side side note:  MLO has started playing basketball - she's a guard. The cute little first grade girls running around the court is a sight to see (my favorite is #33).
Cutest Guard EVER!
Side side side note:  I love Duke basketball (Coach K is ultimate)! I'm a huge fan of the Longhorns, too, and I tend to keep an eye on UNLV, Gonzaga, Villanova and Vanderbilt.  If my faves are out of the running early, I root for any Texas school first.

Side side side side note:  I live in Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas. It's a booming place with TONS to do.  It's a gorgeous place that has a bit of superstar quality to it (supahstahhhh), which means, DFW attracts a LOT of big-name, high-dollar, super-popular events.  This year, Arlington's own Cowboys Stadium (a.k.a. The Death Star, a.k.a. Jerry World) is hosting the Southern Region Sweet Sixteen NCAA mens basketball tournament!

All of these sides fit together nicely to make *this* bloggerwoman verysohappy because I now have two tickets to see (if the good Lord wills it) DUKE! I won't be disappointed if they aren't in the sweet sixteen because I love college hoops in general, this is a MAJOR sporting event, IN MY TOWN! The best news is: I get to take MLO! I hope this might nurture her interest and passion for playing basketball.


Basketball Zen

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

In Which We Saw A Red Cardinal

Waiting in the phlebotomy lab, My Mom and I had just heard some goodbad news in which she needed blood drawn. We were talking about the words we had just heard from the doctor, how the words were better than she had thought they would be.  I stood next to the sink listening and chatting with her. 

As with most new environments with me, I surveyed the room while listening (I'm sure sometimes I appear uninterested or rude when I do this).  I look down at the items on the counter next to the sink:  paper towels, tissue, magazines, when immediately I noticed a little Christmas decoration pushed up against the splash of the counter.  It was a tin snowman holding a branch. On the branch was a red cardinal. The (no doubt Made In China) artist (air quotes?) painted the tin, so obviously, this cardinal stood out among the white of the snow man.  

I smiled.

I picked it up and showed My Mom.  She smiled too, "hi darlin'", she said. "I might be there as soon as I thought."

She wasn't talking to the bird. She was talking to My Dad. 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Good and Bad and Regret and Promise

Happy new year friends and family and inhabitants of Earth who might happen across my digital path. 


I've reached this year. Frankly, I'm amazed.  Looking back on 2012, I have experienced a most tumultuous and self-rewarding year. Overall, it was one of the most introspective and self-awareness years of my life. I admit I'm glad it's behind me.  While I'm a big believer in good comes from bad, and personal growth, I feel like I've been constantly working and incessantly worked.  It's been exhausting. And wonderful. And confusing.  And somber.  And life-giving. 

I'm very excited for '13. Life experience and academia teaches that I will endure yet more struggle, yet, I'm more hope-filled this year than I have been in a while. 

I've been working in an environment where I've been generally uncomfortable.  Many times I looked back in regret, wondering why I ever left my previous employer. I questioned myself over and over. I even went so far as to ask for my job back only to be met with rejection.  I had a realistic idea that I'd likely not be re-hired, so I wasn't surprised. And, if you know me me or read my blog often enough, you know I'm also a big believer that struggle brings growth and most importantly, TTP, trust the process. I kept that as my mantra to help me make it through most days, and it works. Seriously, it's so freeing to know that I can surrender and still land on my feet.

That said, an amazing professional opportunity has landed in my lap. I start on Monday the 14th. 

Monday the 14th is also the day my mother will be going in for a biopsy to find out more about a mass on her left lung. 


My mother was taken to the E.R. last Monday (5 days ago now...). When I picked her up from her house, she was lethargic, slurring, coughing incessantly. She was so weak and weary, short of breath. She looked and sounded as if she just finished running a full sprint!  In typical fashion, every test under the sun was administered, ultimately resulting in Influenza A. Mom had her flu shot already, yet, there was no escape from this one. The doctors admitted her due to her low oxygen saturation, shortness of breath, fluid on her lungs. She's COPD which complicates everything. She's been on oxygen, in an isolation room. The doctors and nurses wear masks when they come in to assess her. She at least has a nice view out her window, is in a very clean hospital with, in my opinion, knowledgeable and caring staff.  

Back to the 'every test under the sun'....a CT scan and x-ray of the chest were administered and, yes, there's a mass on her left lung.

I'm prepared to hear that it's cancer. I'm not despondent, not like I was with my dad. That's not meant to be offensive or dismissive, nor is it meant to say I love my dad more than I do my mom, or anything like that. It's simply one of those things that I've experienced already, have gained some wisdom, know what to expect to some degree, and can process my emotions a little better.  She's smoked for 60 years. It'd be silly to think she wouldn't potentially have cancer. I don't want her to have it. I don't want her to suffer. I don't want to watch her suffer.  I just know it's a very.real.possibility.

So, pray for her please.

Pray for me as well. Pray for me to have made a wise choice in switching jobs again (I, at my core, am very at peace with the decision and firmly believe this will be permanent for me.). 

I have a lot of tough choices to make, but I feel stronger today than I have in years.

More soon....