The Pain & The Wait

"It's the pain I don't want to go through," she whined weakly through tears.

As I drove, I reached over and squeezed her frail, aged hand and nodded in agreement.

"I think I'm ready to meet My Maker, but I just don't want the pain."

Yeah, that part. The part that reminds us we're human and not in control. The part that challenges our bodies in order to soar or spirit, purify our heart and mind. That part. The pain part.  The good part. At least it's supposed to be.....

We all know it. We all know cancer has no mercy. It feasts off the sweet in the body and rots the body from the inside out -- turning the into a virtual cavity. (Ultimately, we all are only a shell anyway....)

+

It's not like no one saw this coming, that eventually The Big C would capture My Mom - a lifelong smoker. Smoking and cancer are very nearly peanut butter and chocolate, or peanut butter and jelly, except not as accidental (or yummy). 

This is the exact situation that is the political wrestling of who to blame: Big Tobacco or personal decision.

Both of these have manifested in My Mom.

+

Not only has she been told she has lung cancer, there's a possibility that she has bone cancer, too. The PET scan revealed lymph nodes are affected by the two-and-a-half centimeter tumor on her lung. The specific sites of concern now are the right femur and right scapula. The Tiger Woods-like oncologist is requesting an MRI of her brain, too.

+

"It's the waiting, too.  The waiting is so hard."

It sure is. 

Love you, Mom.