Wednesday, September 29, 2010

WW: Paul McCartney

1. “George wrote Taxman, and I played guitar on it. He wrote it in anger at finding out what the taxman did. He had never known before then what could happen to your money.” No one likes paying taxes. But do you think the tax system is fair?

I'm going to go ahead and abstain from answering this question on the fact that I'm not very tax savvy. 

2. “I definitely did look up to John. We all looked up to John. He was older and he was very much the leader; he was the quickest wit and the smartest.” What did you think of John Lennon?

John Lennon wasn't around for most of my formative years, so I have no opinion, really.  I love the song "Imagine" and that's kind of how I associate who he is, which is an over-simplifacation, I'm sure.

3. “I saw that Meryl Streep said, I just want to do my job well. And really, that's all I'm ever trying to do.” How do you approach your job whether in the workplace or at home?

Similarly.  Admittedly there are times I just blow it off, but I think it's all a wash in the end.  I work hard.  And I do my best.  The end.

4. “I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.” Have you found that you have more tolerance for unusual people as you get older?

Absolutely.  And I'm grateful for that growth.  I still have a long way to go, so I take it one step at a time and learn.

5. “I don't take me seriously. If we get some giggles, I don't mind.” How seriously do you take yourself?

I suppose most of us take ourselves too seriously at times, or conversely, not seriously enough.  Basically, I don't like to be serious unless the situation is serious -- like a death or bad news or some such.  I know for sure, when I'm on a roll with the house cleaning, I can be pretty fiercely focused and I don't want to hear excuses, mess around, or find fun in it.  I just want it to be done.  I can be hard on myself with certain social situations and also in the realm of interpersonal communication.  Overall, though, I'm pretty light.  Life's too short to be so serious.

6. “I think people who create and write, it actually does flow-just flows from into their head, into their hand, and they write it down. It's simple.” Does your blog writing just flow from your head, or is it a lot of effort?

Yes, most often it flows.  I don't really edit it a lot or go back and re-vamp posts.  WYSIWYG. 

7. “Think globally, act locally.” Do you do anything to help your local community?

Yes, I'm fairly active in my community.

8. “When you first get money, you buy all these things so no one thinks you're mean, and you spread it around. You get a chauffeur and you find yourself thrown around the back of this car and you think, I was happier when I had my own little car! I could drive myself!” Have you ever had a period where you felt that you were set financially?



9. “Lyricists play with words.” Do you think what you write on your blog is clever or just ordinary and why?

I think there's some witticism to my blog, but overall, it's ordinary.  It's not like I have tons of followers or publishers contact me, so, yeah, ordinary.  And I'm chill with that.

10. “Where I come from, you don't really talk about how much you're earning. Those things are private. My dad never told my mum how much he was earning. I'm certainly not going to tell the world. I'm doing well.” Who in your circle knows how much money your family makes?

I think maybe only my husband and the HR folks at work.  Other than that, it's private.  

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Ring-united And It Feels So Good!

For months now, I've had a naked left hand.  My finger became so irritated, red, inflamed by wearing them.  I treated the irritation with Neosporin, Cortizone, even Monistat!  I quit wearing my wedding rings because I was in too much irritating pain.

I kind of correlated the pain from my wedding bands with some pain I was experiencing in my marriage.  Probably unrelated, but still...I associated the two.

Well, things have improved remarkably in my marriage (thank God!), and yet, I still had no bands.  The ridge that developed around my finger had faded and I was sort of sad about that.

I've been married seven years now (thank God!) and all this time, I'd never had the rings cleaned.  My Husband and I talked about it and just never took them to the jeweler.  For Mother's Day, the ring cleaning was supposed to be my gift.  Mother's Day came and went and I was disappointed.  No rings.  

Then, August arrived.  Our Anniversary came and went.  Still, no rings.  Still disappointed.  

I began to take it personally.  I began to wonder if I mattered at all.  My rings and the act of getting them cleaned became a symbol of the measure of love My Husband has for me.  They became my definition of how valuable I am to him.  

All so silly!  Irrational, even. 

I couldn't shake the feelings though.  Rationally I knew better; the negative emotions were still swirling.  

I went on a retreat as a team member a couple weeks ago.  I missed having my rings on me.  I delivered a speech, part of which discussed my marriage...and struggles in it (without divulging too much detail).  I had hoped to wear my rings as a symbol of pride and survival.  They became a beacon of hope for all marriages, especially mine.  Yet, since I didn't have them on my finger, I felt deflated.

My poor Husband.  He had no idea I had taken the simple act of cleaning of wedding rings to these emotional extremes.  I didn't say anything along the way.  It was *my* issue.  Never once did he say he didn't love me.  Not once did he indicate that not cleaning the rings was to purposefully send me a message of his discontent with being married to me.  He didn't know how I felt.  He can't be held accountable for that.  Plus, somewhere along the way, the burden was on HIM to get them cleaned instead of how it was originally discussed that WE would go to the jeweler together.  Never did I communicate to him that I expected him to do it for me.  That's not fair.  So, I kept my feelings to myself and waited patiently & hopefully.

The Sunday I returned from my retreat, My Husband pulled a tiny ziplock bag out of his right pants pocket, "I have a surprise for you...." and he presented the cleaned rings to me.   Squeeeee! It was not as romantic as I had fantasized, but I was so overjoyed to have them back!  And they look like brand new rings!  The scratches have been buffed.  They shine like the sun.  The cracked diamond in the band was replaced with a new one.  I'm tellin' ya....a brand new set of rings! 

Thanks, Love, for making my heart, soul and left ring finger happy again. 

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Takin' Me Back to El Paso. Que Mentirosa!

Sometimes, there are certain things that take me back to my teenage years in El Paso. This song is definitely one of them.

(Bonus for you not-so-border rats -- subtitiles!)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

WW: Captain Kirk

 It's that time of week again -- Wednesday Wickedness.  I missed posting last week's on time, but I'm going to do it anyway and post it as if I didn't miss it.  Guaranteed goodness!

1. “Captain Kirk has been a source of pleasure and income a long time now.” Who is your favorite Star Trek character of all time including all the shows and movies? Why?

I'm not much of a Trekkie, though I remember watching it regularly as a kid with my family.  Spock always stands out and so does Zulu.  I didn't really get the story lines as I recall.  I just liked watching the outer space stuff and the music was pretty neat. 

2. “But if you want to know the truth, the weirdest thing that has happened has been my discovery that people who attend conventions are filled with love.” What was the last public gathering that you attended where you “felt the love“?

I was just at an ACTS retreat this last weekend.  I had the honor of serving as a team member, which explains my absence on posting the Wednesday Wickedness last week.  Too many things to do, not enough hours in the day!  Anywhoooo -- how can one attend a God-centered retreat for three days and NOT "feel the love"?!

3. “How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? It’s simple. I drink the blood of young runaways.” What do you do to stay youthful?

Three O's a day -- Oil of Olay!

I don't know how I stay young & boyishly handsome.  Often I feel (too) old, but then the 20-somethings are always surprised to hear I'm pushing 40.  I'm typically told I look 27, 28.  I think the oldest I've ever been told is 32.  I'll take that all! day! long!  I have a pretty young heart, old soul.  I like some youthful things musically, pop-culturally, etc.

I suppose my kids help keep me young.  :)

4. “I think acting satisfies the need and desire for approval.” What in life gives you a feeling of approval?

I admit to needing too much external validation.  I seek approval extrinsically often.  I'm not too happy about that but I understand better why I do it.  Just this year, a lot has been revealed to me about that very thing.  I've always admired how people could feel intrinsically satisfied and validated.

Definitely the laughter, smiles, kind words and love of my children give me approval.  Hugs, kisses and touches from friends and family definitely do, too.  When I am invited to go to happy hour or various places, I feel like people like me.  Hell, even if someone friend requests me on Facebook, I feel like a million bucks and I prance around with a giddy smile.  hahaha.

When I was on stage as a teenager, I loved it!  I felt very alive and felt like I could rule the world!  Silly dreams....  I do understand William Shatner's sentiment here, though.

5. “No I don’t regret anything at this point. That may change on the next phone call, but at the moment I don’t regret anything.” What is a decision that you have made that others thought you’d regret, but you haven’t?

What a GREAT question!  I don't know the answer!


I have wondered, at times, if my parents thought I'd regret not moving to Hawaii with them on my dad's last tour of duty in the Army.  I had the choice, but elected to stay in El Paso since I was in a serious relationship and in the middle of a semester in school.  I don't regret staying state-side.

I don't seek the advice of too many people when making serious, life-changing decisions.  Perhaps this is why I struggle with answering this question with seriousness....  truly it's due to a lack of experience.

6. “If you make a fool of yourself, you can do it with dignity, without taking your pants down. And if you do take your pants down, you can still do it with dignity.” When did you last get asked when you made a fool of yourself? (Extra points if you guess the correct meme.)

I don't remember being asked this, and I'm new to this meme, so, no extra points for me.  :(

I'm certain I make a fool of myself regularly.  As My Eldest gets older, she gets more easily embarrassed when I act silly around her friends.  I'd say she thinks I make a fool of myself.  And you know what? I don't really mind that so much.  As far as I can tell, our house is the house at which to hang.  So if I have to be "foolish" (a.k.a. The Cool Mom), I'm down with that.

In an adult context, I can't remember really when I've been foolish.  If I goof up on purpose or by accident, it's for a good reason and I try to learn from it.  If people talk about me behind my back, well, it's not my business to know what they are saying.

7. “One of the advantages of being a captain is being able to ask for advice without necessarily having to take it.” What is the best advice that you’ve ignored?

Best advice I ignored?  Hmmm 

8. “I’ve never had green alien sex, although I’m sure it will be quite an evening!” What did you do the last time that you had “quite an evening”?

I don't kiss and tell.


9. “Don’t just shove food into your mouth. Taste the flavor exploding in your mouth. Appreciate the texture. Honor your food with the time you take.” Describe your perfect meal.

My perfect meal is one where I don't experience emotion while eating it.  Food is fuel.  It is nothing more, nothing less.

HOWEVERRrrrrr...  I love me some thin-crust pizza, probably pepperoni lovers from Pizza Hut -- swig that down with a fountain cherry coca-cola, followed by Baskin Robbins peanut butter chocolate ice cream.  BAM!

(What's wrong with shoving food in my mouth, anyway?!  *wink*)

10. “For commercial reasons, we stayed away from advancing the theory of God.” Are there topics that you stay away from on your blog to remain non-controversial?

Most U.S. and World politics I avoid.  I'm not in the blogging world to be controversial.  There's enough angst in the world as it is.  Why would I want to contribute to that?

Nah -- I'd rather document my little life, this short time that God has granted me, vent sometimes, share some tidbits of humor and love and be about my happy way...even when I'm not feeling so happy.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

WW: Cher

Wednesday Wickedness that I missed that you can't tell I missed because of the magic of the internets....

1. “A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.” Have you ever had a relationship that you knew was wrong, but had fun anyway?

Of course I have!  I can't speak for you, but I would bet money that you have, too.  These relationships are almost a necessity so that you can see your limits, your boundaries, and feel your growth and learn from mistakes.  If you're a person who believes in bettering yourself, you can appreciate the challenge and survive it. 

2. “Hate crimes are the scariest thing in the world because these people really believe what they're doing is right.” What group of people committing hate crimes in your country scares you the most and why?

I don't believe in hate crimes.  A crime is a crime is a crime and the act of it rooted in fear, anger, hate, insecurity, power hunger, control, domination, stupidity.  There will be some exceptions, of course, but the exceptions prove to be just that -- exceptions. 

3. “Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.” How much effort do you feel a good relationship requires?

There is truth in this, but it's not particular to husbands.  Any unattended relationship will fizzle.  Simple as that.

4. “I won't be able to do what I'm doing forever. There aren't that many scripts floating around for fifty-year-old chicks.” Why are there roles for men till they get very old, yet very few roles are written for older women?

Men are late bloomers.  :P

I'm certainly not in the business, but there seem to be more and more roles for men and women of all ages (and races, etc.).  Cher might not be able to make a millionkajillion dollars every film, but the work is out there.  She happens to be in the luxurious position of being able to have the choice of what she does with her talent.

5. “I've always taken risks, and never worried what the world might really think of me.” Does what other people think effect what you do?

Yes.  It's called accountability.

6. “If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen.” Do you agree with Cher?


7. “To me marriage is for five or ten years.” In you experience, can a marriage last forever?

Marriage can last as long as two people are willing to invest the time, effort and love and risk the vulnerability, trust in the partner and work to reconcile the wounds of the past....  And not just the past that existed in the relationship, but the wounds of the Family of Origin.  It's surprising how one's upbringing manifests in marriage. 

8. “Until you're ready to look foolish, you'll never have the possibility of being great.” When was the last that you felt foolish?

Oh look!  Here's the answer that the WW from 9/22/10 was looking for!  It's Cher!  NOW I get the bonus points! 


9. “Words are like weapons; they wound sometimes.” What types of things have people said have really hurt you?'ll never be're fat...i'm so disappointed in're a whore....such a don't care about me....i don't love you....can't....won''t....i don't think you have a close relationship with God....I'm not interested....let's be friends....your father's passed....leave....go away....there's nothing left to say...

10. “It's not necessary, in order to be a complete person, that I have a man. It's not the end-all, be-all of my life.” Do you need to be in relationship to feel whole?

Everyone needs a relationship, but it doesn't have to be in the context of a man-woman-marriage-permanent life together.  But we are designed to be in community, in relationship.  So yes, everyone needs at least one relationship to be whole.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

WW: Prince William

Prince William is this week's feature on Wednesday Wickedness.  How royal!  My page finally has some class!  (or does it?  <~~ NSFW link!)

1. “I've had lots of kids come up and ask for my autograph, I've had a grandmother stop me and ask me if I know a good place to buy underwear.” Where do you buy your underwear?

What underwear?  I mean...I only wear panties!  Was your mind in the gutter thinking of me going commando?  (Do chicks "go commando"?  What's the female equivalent to that?!)  In any case, I buy my panties at stores and retailers where they sell them.  Duh. 

2. “I'm always open for people saying I'm wrong because most of the time I am.” How often are you wrong?

I try to be wrong as often as possible so that the expectations of me are superlow!

Of course, as a woman, I am, by design, inclined to want to be right, but through experience and wisdom and humility, I know it's not always best to be right (even when I am!  hahaha!).  What's that saying? "Choose your battles."  Good motto by which to live.

3. “Harry can paint but I can't. He has our father's talent while I, on the other hand, am about the biggest idiot on a piece of canvas. I did do a couple of drawings at Eton which were put on display. Teachers thought they were examples of modern art, but in fact, I was just trying to paint a house!” What was the last thing that you drew?

I draw pictures for (and of) my kids all the time.  I tend to draw animals & flowers, maybe a building or structure of some sort.  I've been known to attempt a Sesame Street character from time to time, too, though those days are few and far between anymore.

I love art as expression and wish I could sculpt.  I take the lazy way out and take photographs.  :P  I wish I was more like Prince Harry, though.  It sounds so freeing to bring canvas to life.

4. “I do think I am a country boy at heart. I love the buzz of towns and going out with friends and sitting with them drinking and whatever -- it's fun -- but, at the same time, I like space and freedom.” How would you describe yourself?

I am spontaneous and laid-back.  I'm open and fluid.  I can complicate things in a hurry.  Like Prince William, I'm a city girl with a country heart.

I am most often self-described as a balloon stretching to the Heavens, tethering from the top of a tree where the string has been clinched by the branches -- not quite grounded, and not too far out there -- just waiting for freedom and looking at life from a different perspective.

5. “I remember her as being a huge inspiration to me, someone to really look up to and admire.” He’s talking about his mom. Who do you admire?

I, too, admire Princess Diana (she will always be Princess Di, won't she?).  I also admire Thomas Jefferson, Nando Porrado, Anais Nin, Wonder Woman (NOT Lynda Carter!  The comic book superheroine.), and my parents.

6. “I think it's very important that you make your own decision about what you are. Therefore you're responsible for your actions, so you don't blame other people.” How do you think you are about taking responsibility for your actions?

For the most part, I own the consequences of my decisions.

If it can be rationally expressed to me where I caused a person to feel slighted, then I will own my actions -- keeping in mind I am a fairly open and self-evaluating person.  I try to be objective, even in matters of self.

Also, with work, if I messed up, I don't pass the buck.  It definitely earns me more respect when I say, "hey, I screwed up, but I'm going to fix it".

Even if I can justify my actions, I fully acknowledge that I had a role to play, and therefore, I am the owner of my part.

7. “My guiding principles in life are to be honest, genuine, thoughtful and caring.” What are your guiding principles?

The Beatitudes

8. “Only the mad girls chase me, I think.” When you were, or if you are, single: What type of people chased you?

I wasn't really chased.  I've since heard I was the "too good" girl.  So wrong, boys...SO WRONG!

I'm a chaser, not the chasee.  I'd much rather be chased, though.  Wonder what that feels like?

9. “I don't deliberately select my friends because of their background. If I enjoy someone's company, then that's all that counts. I have many different friends who aren't from the same background as me and we get on really well -- it's brilliant.” How do you select your friends?

My friends aren't 'selected' -- not by ME anyway.  They're given to me as gifts.  Our paths cross for reasons beyond my scope of comprehension.  And for these friends, I am thankful.

10. “People say it's not ambitious, but it is actually quite ambitious wanting to help people.” When was the last time that you volunteered to help people?

I try to help people whenever possible.  So long as I have the means, I will do so.  No need to itemize my volunteerism.  We are all called to serve one another.

Monday, September 06, 2010

Bike Riding

I have to just say, this makes me smile.

It's that kind of smile where you just have to shake your head, too...

My Eldest and I went bike riding together today.  This is the first time My Eldest and I have been able to bike ride without it being a little girl behind me whining that she can't ride her bike, which was so frustrating to me because she COULD ride her bike, yet she lacked the confidence.  (Thanks to the lady who kept her over the summer for the extra bike lessons & daily riding!  That woman is such a blessing!  Now My Eldest is quite adept -- yay!)

Anyway, after airing up tires, adjusting helmets, protecting already-scabbed knees, refilling water bottles, assuaging My Little One that I'll be back and will spend one-on-one time with her, and generally having every reason to stop us from cycling together, My Eldest and I defeated them all and actually made it to the bike trail!

Admittedly, I haven't ridden in a while, so my confidence on a bike is shaky, too.  And I never realize how out of shape I'm in until I'm actually in the middle of something rigorous and I want to quit.  We were riding into the wind, uphill.  Yeah, I was feelin' it.  But, I don't want to raise a quitter, so I wasn't going to quit!

Also feeling the challenge of some of the riding conditions, My Eldest would stop every now and again to take a drink of water or just rest.  I would be up ahead of her and I'd hear her holler, "Mom!  Stop!"  or "Mommy, wait up!"  This reminded me of those frustrating tries previously described, but I held my cool about it today.  So, I'd stop or slow down, and wait for her patiently.  After all, I could use the break, too.

Suddenly, she'd zip by me and holler, "C'mon mom!" as if *I* am the one being the caboose..... 

*forehead slap*

Each time, which were many, that was the script.  Instead of being annoyed, which is my natural reaction, I found myself smiling about it today.

:)  I love that girl!

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Music Minute: Rihanna


I dig her and her music.  Her words are soft at times, pushing through that tough voice she has.  I admire that she's daring and bold. 

"Disturbia" is my favorite to date (if you know me, I'm sure it makes sense to you that I would like that song). 

Today, I need a pick-me-up -- some energy.  I slept only three hours last night and I have a very long, busy, emotionally charged day ahead of me.


Anais Does It Again

I disregard the proportions, the measures, the tempo of the ordinary world. I refuse to live in the ordinary world as ordinary women. To enter ordinary relationships, I want ecstacy.


Wednesday, September 01, 2010

WW: Marilyn Monroe

This week's Wednesday Wickedness is inspired by one of my veryfavorite icons and people, the stunning and complicated Miz Marilyn Monroe.

1. "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." When are you are at you’re best?

Hmm...this is a good question -- a hard one to answer.

When am I at my best?  *thinks*  I was going to say that I'm at my best when I'm with my children, but then I recalled times that I'm really not at my best with them....  haha.  But they for sure make me a better person. 

Gosh, I can't really figure this out.  What does 'best' mean?  Healthy?  Problem-free?  Performing? 

2. "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." Do you ever think that you are boring?

No, I don't think I'm boring.  I think I can add a little spice to life here and there.  I can get flat or down, but not boring.  When I'm down and out, I could use something spicy, so I am always open to those moments.  I have too much passion to be boring!

3. "A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." Did you ever break off a relationship because you wanted to be the one to do it?

I have never wanted to break up with anyone for the raw want of it.  Breakups hurt.  I grieve.  This is true for my primary loves, friendships & professional relationships.  I'm not a bridge burner, either. 

In the context of boyfriends & marriages, there has only ever been one person to initiate breaking up with me.  I'm thankful that most of my exes are still in my life in one form or another, and we can be in a place of a loving friendship with mutual respect for the paths we've taken separately.  I never wanted to hurt anyone.  I don't want relationships to end.  I'd rather go through a cooling-off period, then re-engage in a new kind of relationship instead of being without someone. 

People are in my life to teach me (or be taught), so why would I deny myself the opportunity and experience to progress and grow?

4. "It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone." Do you feel that she is correct?


5. "Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?" What was the last thing that you didn’t plan on doing but then thought, “What the hell!”?

Accepting the invitation to give a talk at an upcoming retreat.  The topic is slightly uncomfortable for me, but I'm going to do it for the sheer 'what the hell' of it!  I'm glad to be a Vessel -- use me, Lord.

6. "We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets." Do you have any major regrets?

Finishing college so far is the biggest regret of my life, but I'm headed back.  I'll finish...someday!

7. "What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course." What do you wear to bed?

Typically, I wear nothing.  In the winter months, I will wear t-shirts and/or yoga pants to bed, but mostly, I'm a nakedsleeper.

8. "It’s better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what your not." Have you ever pretended to be someone you are not because it was easier?

Don't we all?  Gosh, yes, I've done this....

9. "I am invariably late for appointments - sometimes as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing." Are you usually on time for events or appointments?

I don't wear a watch, and rarely look at the time.  I'm not a fan of most structured things, time included.  While I admit to needing structure and find value in it, it's maddening to me.  I believe humans innately need structure of all kinds, but, again, I internally despise it.

So, no,  I am rarely on time for appointments.  I'm with Marilyn on this -- the things that make me late are too strong or too pleasing.

10. "Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about." What makes you smile?

~ the laughter of children, especially mine ~ sunshine warming my skin ~ friendships ~ my mom and all my family ~ seeing Duran Duran in concert ~ witnessing My Husband play violin with My Eldest ~ a good looking man ~ an unexpected compliment ~ Forget Me Nots ~ mojitos ~ Old Grand Dad and Coke ~ ice cream ~ flirting ~ good quotes ~ corny jokes ~ spooning ~ fingers in my hair ~ riding in a convertible ~ being near a body of water ~ memories ~ inside jokes ~ double entendre ~ buying new shoes ~ pedicures ~ glitter ~ my kid's artwork ~ magic tricks ~ the Share It garden ~ Fox Trot ~ Calvin & Hobbes ~ naughty things ~ all As & Bs ~ bowling a strike ~ open-mouth kisses on my neck ~ poetry ~ live concerts ~ having the house to myself for a little while ~ vacations ~ dancing close ~ sailing ~ bangle bracelets ~ spontaneous happenings ~ quick wit ~ Shit My Darth Says ~ being barefoot ~ saving more than I spent ~ Marilyn Monroe!