Saturday, January 27, 2007


Today is my birthday.

I am thirty-six years old today.

I am mostly likely in my mid-life.

This cutie pie to the left is me when I was a young lass in Germany 30-something years ago. Wish I was still that cute and petite -- I don't miss the blonde (Brunettes have fun too).

I haven't done anything today that is particularly exciting. I did however imbibe a bit last night -- which was lovely. I have a new drink (shot) that I'm crushin' on: B-52. Yum! I think I might have shared too many intimate details with the 3 friends who tagged along at BlackFinn, but I'm going to chalk it up to a bonding moment and call it good.

A birthday highlight: last week, Husband purchased a gift for me that I've asked for every year that I've known him: a punching bag. We went to Academy and purchased the 70 pound canvas Everlast heavy bag, and each of us got some bag gloves. Later that night, Husband hoisted the Gift of 7 years in our garage and it breathed life. At work, it's 1099 Season, and I've worked late most nights for the last 2 weeks. Slightly frustrated. The heavy bag comes in handy. Love it -- LOVE it.

As previously posted, I enjoy my birthdays. I think everyone should embrace the day they were born and celebrate themselves (even if no one else does it for you). This philosophy manifested itself tonight when *I* put 3 trick sparkler candles on a small Cheesecake Factory original mini-cheesecake (1 candle represented a dozen years), took it out to my living room full of a few family members and basically forced them to sing Happy Birthday to me. Husband got up and took the flaming cheesecake from me and held it the duration of the song, and the kids helped blow out the candles. I basically celebrated my own birthday -- and made others play along.

So, this my gratuitous solicitation of birthday love. Feel free to post well wishes. Feel free to think I'm weird. Feel free to post you think I'm weird. It's my birthday dammit -- and I just am glad for it. For without all of you, I would not be me.


Friday, January 26, 2007

Brown Suede

If you own a suede coat, don't even kiss your baby good bye in it. Instead, kiss your baby -- who just downed about 12 ounces of ass-smelling formula in about 3 minutes -- BEFORE you put on your really expense, beautfully brown, looks-oh-so-good-on-you, only-coat-you-own-and-sh**-it's-friggin-cold-outside suede jacket.

My Little One outstretched her arms to say good bye to me. I collect her from my mother-in-law and pull her face to my lips. She smiles so happily at me, showing (since she can't tell me yet) how much she loves me. I reciprocate the smile and give her a big hug good-bye.


....spit up ALL OVER MY JACKET!!

Now, as a mom, I understand spit up is expected. I understand that it is unpredictable. It's not cold in Texas much like it's been lately. I had no former frame of reference, and none of my cold weather geographically placed friends told me about the timing issues in this scenario. Therefore, I suffered bitter cold with only a zip up sweater over my clothes on the way to work that day. Ugh.


Fast forward a couple of days. I take said suede jacket to the cleaners. Get this: "it will take 1 month because we gotta send it to Chicago" (WTF??), and "the price *starts* at $75" (wha?!). Is it obvious that I don't take things to the cleaners. This was a total newsflash to me. Sheesh. That's expensive. Hell, I could get a new coat for that money. I decide to keep the coat and find another cleaners to handle the job locally -- no easy task.

Fast forward a couple more days (luckily the weather warmed up and OH I did manage to purchase a new "coat". It's really not a coat, but I use it as one anyway.). I find a cleaner next to My Eldest's ballet studio. It will take 2 weeks, it's local and $45. I don't know if that's reasonable, but compared to the shock I endured of cleaner #1, it seemed very reasonable. Done deal. Brown Suede is getting cleaned. She'll be happy. I'll be happy. And never again will I put my coat on BEFORE kissing My Little One again. :)

Don't worry Little One. Mommy still loves you unconditionally. You just owe me $45.

Sunday, January 21, 2007


Since my Cowboys were out of contention early on (duh -- did they even ever REALLY have a chance??), I settled in on a new team for which to root, one AFC team and one NFC team. I settled for New England and New Orleans (for a "New" Superbowl...ha!).

I thought this was going to be The Year for New Orleans. Talk about serendipity. They nabbed the great (former Cowboys) coach Sean Peyton. Amazing work he's done in The Big Easy. Drew Brees having a fabby year (like, who knew THAT would happen??!). And then there's lil ole Reggie Bush. I don't think I need to say anything more about REGGIE. As a seasoned football fan, I'm really quite impressed with New Orleans feat. It's too bad they didn't get past Da Bears.

My best friend who lives in New York state, she's a Bears fan. Has been as long as I've known her, which is about the last time the Bears made it to the Super Bowl. I called her today to share in her giddiness, to hear her shrill with delight as the snow fell and the Saints went marching home.... She's very difficult to reach anymore. Today, serendipity would have it that she (1) was home, (2) was awake, (3) answered my call. I excited greet her, and this is her reply, "I've been sleeping." WTF?? You mean *I* am more excited about this than YOU, The Eternal Bears Fan? WTF??


Peyton is glorious. He really is. He reminds me of Troy Aikman in so many ways: solid guy on the field and off; commanding team leader; superb numbers, encompassed by a good team and a stellar organization there in Indy. I was rooting for New England, I said, but secretly deep down inside my football belly, I wanted Peyton (not the Colts -- PEYTON) to win. Aikman had Rings. Peyton can't even get his windows washed on a street corner after the last few times he's tried to get to play in the Big Game. Now....that's all changed. He's going. He has a chance to seal his amazing talent and career with a Ring. I know I said I was rooting for New England, and I was because I love Tom Brady (hottie), but I think I've made my case for serendipity here....

So, it's Colts vs. Bears. Forty-one should be fun to watch!


Friday, January 19, 2007


My Eldest raced to meet me at the front door from my extremely late night at work last night. She beamed a smile. A smile sans an eye tooth on the bottom. In her hand lay the tooth's corpse -- the FIFTH tooth she's lost in her lil lifetime.

She excited narrated the story of how she lost it:


Me: OH MY GOSH!! LOOK AT THAT!! I celebrate loudly with her

She giggles wildly.

Me: TELLMETELLMETELLME the story !! I excitedly demand as I put down my purse, take off my coat and collect My Little One, smothering her with kisses all the while listening to My Eldest.

Eldest: I lost it brushing my teeth. <she's jumping up and down now> I was just brushing like this <she mimics moving her turquoise and purple Princess Jasmine toothbrush back and forth> and then it just came out. And blood started pouring out of my mouth like this <she takes her tiny index finger and points to her bottom lip, tracing the contours of her chin downward>

Me: BLOOD?! Did you get scared??

Eldest: No!

She smiles from ear to ear.

The conversation sways to talk of Tooth Fairy and all that goes along with the Tooth Fallout (pun intended). Upon tucking her into bed, we admired the tooth, gently placed it in a purple velvet pouch and tucked the pouch under her pillow and read the story of the tooth fairy -- which we do each time she loses a tooth.

No barter this time -- all money. Eldest reached under her pillow fresh from her slumber to find some money tucked into the purple pouch -- then tucked into her savings bank.

She beamed her gums in a beaming smile on her way out the door to school this morning -- gums anew with a big-girl tooth barely peeking out.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Single and Childless List

...and assuming I have an endless amount of money....I'd:

1. be drunk a lot
2. travel all over the world
3. do the Hair Dance every weekend in some trendy club
4. be *very* fit
5. live either Uptown, Downtown or in Las Colinas (see #7)
6. be finished with college
7. if I was not living here, I'd be wherever my employer, the FBI, would station me (see #19)
8. fly to Europe to catch a Duran Duran concert (hopefully England)
9. learn to play the harp
10. keep up with my fluency in French, learn Spanish more, and maybe dabble in a few other languages
11. drive a Jag (*sigh*)
12. donate money to my high school and several other charities.
13. volunteer and be philanthropist who is slightly controversial because of all my globetrotting partying I do
14. attempt to meet Brad Pitt and George Clooney -- at the same time -- in Africa
15. get a degree in some sort of biblical studies
16. learn to fly a cessna
17. buy a yacht and sail the oceans on a whim
18. make some quilts
19. live in Europe if I was not employed or living in the Dallas metroplex

in reality, I'm sure I'd:

20. be lonely
21. wish I had kids
22. wish I owned just ONE home
23. long for some structure in life
24. be a slob and a slug
25. pop anti-depressants
26. owe the IRS, all the banks and my mom a ton of money

so....I'm glad I'm married with children. I mean, what's to say I can't accomplish some of 1-19 while married??

Kisses to my family....

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

What a birthday party!

If you're a regular here, I know you think I'm gonna write about me...

Just cuz my birthday is in 2 weeks doesn't mean it's all about me this month.

However, birthdays do seem to be the subject of the month in January. Capricorns and Aquarians are celebrating en masse in our family. We even have an offical "January birthdays birthday party". Today, I am not writing about the "miracle of me".

Ever dream?

Ever have a dream right before you wake up?

Ever feel the feelings of that dream haunting you in Awake Life all day long?

That happened to me today. And it wasn't a good dream....but it was a funny dream. (I'm sure I'm opening myself up to either much teasing by all my friends and family and/or some serious internet psycho-scrutiny and I'll be a subject of much textbook publication about dream interpretation. Feel free to post comments about what YOU think this all means...) Here goes:

In the dream, My Eldest was invited to a fairy-themed birthday party. I dress her up in a green sherbert colored glittery fairy costume and we show up at this meadow of a place for the party. In the backdrop, quite a distance away, is a tall castle. In the foreground is a large tree, and lots of children running and playing in their fairy outfits. They are even flying around.

It's the kind of party where a parent drops off the kid (not that I would EVER do this, but in my dream I did it -- reluctantly). So, I bid her fairwell and she starts flying around the sky wand in hand.

Two hours later, I show up at The Meadow to pick her up. It's quiet. No kids. Not even the castle! Just an open field and the tree. I see the parent who invited us to the party under the tree. She stands, walks towards me. (This is where it gets really weird...)

Me: Where's My Eldest?
Her: Ummm....she's not here anymore. (no emotion)
Me: (lots of emotion) What do you mean 'she's not here anymore'? !
Her: She's been abducted....
Me (more emotional) WHAT DO YOU MEAN ABDUCTED??!!
Her: ....the ninjas came...took them all....she's been taken to the underground world of child Ninja training.

I know you're laughing.

I am laughing just typing it.

If you aren't're weird. order to get my daughter back, I had to contact her former real life Montessori teacher who acted as a liaison between me and this Underground World. In her lap, was a small, flat television screen. On the little TV is a split-screen picture of My Eldest as she was when I dropped her off at the party: cute, all of 6 innocent years old, pig tails, a waving a wand in her left hand, sweet smile with empty spaces of recently lost teeth. The in the other picture of her, a small framed person is dressed in black completely, holding weapons, completely unidentifiable as My Eldest. I have puffy eyes, tissue in hand. The Teacher is on the phone, "so, okay, you've cut her hair...." She eyes me as she nods. Then she begins to draw on the TV screen.

You ever look at Perez Hilton's website? You know how those drawings are added to pictures with the white "pen"? (Or you know how John Madden will sometimes illustrate football schemes during a football game?) Well, The Teacher had a pen like that. She drew My Eldest's new hairstyle over the pig tails in the fairy picture. All the while she's saying, "I see" and "mmm hmmm" and "sure...I understand".

She covers the speaker of the phone and looks at me square in the eye, "Jackie. She has a different hairstyle. Do you still want her back?" The Teacher shows me the picture drawing super short, hacked off hair on My Eldest.

Are you friggin kidding me??? OF COURSE I WANT HER BACK!!!!

Know that picture-in-picture technology? My dream switched to that mode, and in the lower right hand corner, I could see a live picture of My Eldest --- my punky monkey -- my sweetie. At least I *think* that ninja is my sweetie pie. Is it my fairy punky ninja monkey?

In the big picture, is me and The Teacher agreeing that we will take My Eldest back sans hair.

I wake up before the phone is hung up so I have no idea if I get My Eldest back or not. So all day, I was frustrated, sad and just generally irritated. (Conversely, a few nights before that I awoke from a dream where I was on a yacht sailing the world with Simon Baker from the Devil Wears Prada. All he was wearing was a pair of jeans and a sexy smile. THAT was a GOOD day.)

I tell My Eldest about The Fairy Ninja dream. She thought it was rather cool.

Eldest: Did you know who I was?
Me: No, love, I didn't.
Eldest: Did I come back and kick your butt?

Love, you do that every day in real life.....


Friday, January 05, 2007


I've been eating Dove Promises lately.
They are quite fun.

Of course, chocolate is inherently fun, but Promises have a message written on the inside of the foil wrapper.

Some are hoaky (today, make your eyes twinkle).

Some are GREATNESS. Here are some of the great ones that have been revealed and therefore promised to me:

Flirting is mandatory

You're allowed to do absolutely nothing

Naughty can be nice

Be mischievous ~ it feels good

Aren't those fun?

Thursday, January 04, 2007


It's almost my birthday.
I'm bothering telling you so.
Not so that you may gift me but just so you know.
It's almost my birthday.
And I'm bothering telling you so.

As previously declared, I don't want Christmas gifts --
I admit that I enjoy receiving birthday gifts, but definitely can live without them. :) Weak, I know....

Again, it's one of those things where I am blessed by those around me - and you all are my gift daily. So it's like having a birthday daily.

At the risk of sounding desparate to justify my weakness, I firmly believe that *everyone* should celebrate their marvelous birth....the miracle of their life....
No matter how crappy or charmed it seems.

God has given me life. I celebrate His gift to me. I hope you'll celebrate His gift to you and come party with me at month's end.