Two Steppin'

Pop is still in the hospital. He is fighting the emotional fight now. In a way, we all are. I contend the hardest part of the accident isn't the initial emergency of it; it's this part: the gruelling day to day search for purpose; the every day call to be patient, accepting and humble; the mental battle of doing what's right versus what's selfish and when to measure the appropriateness of being selfish for self-preservation. Yeah, we are ALL in the emotional, mental fight.

Pop has gone through the depths of wondering why he's here and why can't he just die to the exhilarating validation of taking two steps on his own. Imagine being 72 years old and having re-learn walking? A therapist comes weekly to see him. He's in his third hospital facility, where he seems to be making slow by steady progress. And progress is all we can ask for, right?

He still cannot sit on his own. Nor can he stand without help. Someone needs to help him get in those positions. Now that he's a little stronger, he can sit longer in a wheelchair. On Monday, he was at physical therapy and took his first two steps on his own. Monday was a good day.

Pop has been rather mean to some folks. He was sometimes socially inappropriate before his accident - he's from the day and time when saying certain things back then are considered 'politically incorrect' now. Head injury patients are notorious for being uninhibited. Needless to say, he's been rather crass to the staff and even his own family. He's been pretty grumpy, too, talking about wanting to be admitted to the VA Hospital and "forgotten", he's made racial slurs, and even over-criticized his family members. Generally he's been bossy without gratitude.

My husband took a good verbal lashing one day and it didn't sit well with me. His wife has endured some harshness as well. Being as they both currently live with me, I decided to take a stand because the last thing I need right now is MORE negative energy in my house. I am so drained right now that I am *this close* to tapping out of the wrestling match. So, I visited my lovely yet soul-bruised father-in-law a Sunday not so long ago.

We talked.

It was a good talk.

I left him a "To Do" list:

1. BE RESPECTFUL
2. USE YOUR MANNERS
3. Call the staff and see if they will help you go to the restroom at least once a day.
4. Play with the stress toy that was left for you in order to build up your hand strength and loosen those tightened tendons.
5. TALK TO GOD every day about the following:

• Humility
• Acceptance
• Patience

I don't think Pop has been humbled by this horrific accident. He has never been a patient man. And he refuses to help himself. So, if the Lord can work through me to effect change, well, then, I'm your girl.

I called Pop four days later to see how his week was going. He was chipper and bragged about feeling better and that he'd been praying a lot. He reported also that he was more polite to the staff and had been working hard at being nicer in general.

I then visited him three days after that phone call. I was sure to check with the staff to see how his demeanor had been. They all agreed that he'd been kinder. Pop even mentioned to me that he issued apologies to some of the nurses with which he'd struggled. My heart was happy to hear that news. He added that he intends to apologize to my husband. He intends to apologize to his own wife. I pray he does indeed make that amends.

I intend on seeing him again this Sunday where I will again, check on him and crack the whip (gently). The couple of times I've been there, I've had to issue gentle reminders to say "please" and "thank you" when the staff has come to adjust his positioning or rub cream on his toes. He takes it well when I do that. (Lucky me!)

In any case, I thought I'd share with you this picture that was taken about three weeks ago when my family went to visit him. I prodded, "I hear all the time that so and so has seen you sit but every time I come here, you're layin' in that bed! Let me see you sit!" And through much verbal grumbling and heavy sighing by Pop and his son, we managed to lift his torso with the belt, and he sat for me. He smiled. I made the kids sit with him. All so he can be encouraged to do more, and so I could share with you his slow but steady progress..... Please continue to pray for him and all of us who are affected by the rippling of the accident. Thank you.