Today the news came...
Pop is moving out tomorrow.
I'm relieved.
Elated.
Sad.
Very, very sad.
I've cried about it all day.
Rationally, his relocation is the best for all of us. Truly, it is. He's wanted this day, and I think pretty much everyone else has, too.
But....
....it's still sad.
I'm sad for My Husband. I know part of him feels like he's failed his father. I know if he were a bachelor, he'd tend to his dad for the remainder of their lives. Through the experience of The Accident it is now revealed why My Husband has his R.N. but doesn't get paid money to practice. The care he provides his father is par excellence. I know there's a special place in Heaven for My Husband, The Loyal Son.
And I'm sad for my kids in a strange way. They do like having their grandfather there. The scooter and the bedrailing have become an ice cream shop, places to hang holiday decorations, a fun spot to sit and read or play school. Now they will have to do the same in a hospital setting.
Most of all, I'm sad for my father-in-law who has essentially given up his will to live and sleeps most of the day. While his body has the potential to walk again, his will does not mirror it. He has succumbed and surrendered. The quality of care and therapy he's receiving at our home is going to go away, and he'll have to be merely maintained until he dies. I worry that he won't last long in the new facility. That, too, is a bittersweet thought -- from his perspective, maybe. He's said he's ready to die. The quality of life he lives now pales in comparison to the vibrant independence he knew just over a year ago. Tragic, really.
I'm hopeful, too. I know it doesn't sound like it at this moment, but I am. The silver lining is radiant. The future a wee bit brighter. The load a trifle lighter.
No comments:
Post a Comment