To My First: Sweet Sixteen

My First turns sixteen today.

So, to honor him, below are sixteen of my favorite memories of him.

1. Lambman. The borrowed, home-made halloween costume where Batman's ears were facing down instead of up making you look more like a lamb than a bat. Still makes me chuckle!

2. Walking around with a bottle full of kool-aid with the nipple pinched between his teeth (no hands!).

3. Carving pumpkins at Halloween.

4. Batman, Batman and more Batman. He had pretty much all the new Batman action figures.

5. Beautiful smile -- always. I can still see every one of them. They are burned onto my soul and are indeed woven into my fabric. What a lingering warmth those smiles has left on me. The helped me through many a down day.

6. My own screams and streaming tears from the cold bathroom floor where I lay, locked, in disbelief, as I absorbed the news of him moving overseas, knowing just how powerless I was...and feeling oh so empty.

7. Seeing you about ten years later when Brother got married, and feeling the same degree of joy as it equates to #6 that miraculous day in Savannah. Prayers were indeed answered. There is further proof of God. (Amen!) Again, more tears as I've never known before.

8. Those stinky Mickey Mouse canvas shoes that we got you in about 3 sizes because you loved them soooo much we had to buy you a new pair as your feet grew.

9. Being the ring bearer in my first wedding. You looked so handsome in that tux!

10. Hizza. This is how you first said pizza.

11. Cha-chee. That's how you said my name when you were learning to talk.

12. Carting you around to the family parties and watching you play with the kids in the hot El Paso sun.

13. Hearing from Dr. Billman that you are well in Panama. It was lovely to get those periodic updates.

14. Seeing you in the arms of my brother. Tender. Deep. Permanent.

15. Being the only one, for a short period, allowed to talk to you on the phone and hearing how smart you are, feeling our connection, reassured you are well. I treasure those short and few conversations.

16. You spending Thanksgiving with my family here in Dallas a few years ago. The sleepy teenager drawing sketches of My Eldest on the couch as Cody-dog curled up on your lap. Wearing those knit hats with that long, messy but gorgeous black hair hanging out the bottom of the hat. The Steelers stuff. Ugh. The football game!!

Congratulations, Mr. Steelers Fan, on making it to 16. You are a joy to me, and an indelible wonder of this world. You are destined to make a mark on it, but it won't be nearly sweet and everlasting mark you've left on me.

I love you, babe. Endless wishes come true.....

Siempre con amor,
~Tia Jackie