Something Different

This is running them in my life:  something different. Lot's of differences going on around me, and I'm doing my best to sit still as needed, or, alternately, remain fluid so as to be carried by the changes. 

With that, I'm changing the music again.  It's music reflecting a mood more than anything else.  Haven't listened too much to the words, but there are definitely images of escape, daydreams, gratitude, longing, and various others. 

~Whoosh!

I Think I Might Like Him After All....

It's a prayer or seventeen answered for sure.

I'm gonna like Father Alphonse.  A lotlot. 

Today, I was able to attend a Sunday Mass and witness ~ experience ~ Father Alphonse celebrating.  Favorite things right off the bat:

*  the hair.  WOW, he has GREAT hair
*  the glasses:  sharp, witty, trendy.  I hope this is a sign of his priesthood, too.
*  the delivery of the homily:  he came around from the Altar and stood among us.  I love a priest among the people
*  the humor:  verrrrry good sense of humor.  He relayed a funny anecdote about the heat that had all of us laughing hard enough to forget about the sweat dripping down our backs.
*  the homily itself:  great messages.  Today's special message:  Where your treasure is, so, too, is your heart.

After the heartbreak of losing Father Don and Father Louis, the gem sparkling today might be just the reminder I needed of where my treasure is.

Yoshi Is A Friend of Mine

...and he's going to give me shit about using 'Yoshi' because I've already told him in no uncertain terms that I don't like his nickname.  But, to preserve some confidentiality, I'm resorting to using it in my blog. 

A few days ago, he asked what my favorite word is. 

*blink*blink*
*think*think* 

Uhhhhhh.

*deer in the headlights look*

Yeah.  I couldn't answer it.  I don't think it's because I drew a blank.  I think it's because I've never been asked that before nor had I ever pondered it.  It was a great question and I left it unanswered.

Until today.

I then remembered I had a tag set up on here of "Favorite Words". 

So, I dug around a bit, read through the blogs and finalized my decision.  I followed up with an email to Yoshi notifying him of my current favorite all time word (until I learn new ones that might change my current favorite word).  I shared with him a few notions I have about words, why I'm attracted to them, and thanked him for prompting such thought.  The email didn't seem enough, so here I am, on The Big Blog, thanking Yoshi up and down and all around for a good question, being interested and resurrecting the Favorite Word series. 

I'll post one soon....  In the meantime, click the tag below if you're interested in reading the rest of the favorite words.

~Whoosh!

Funky Spunk

"Funky Spunk" is one of my favorite phrases.  It was on Sex And The City, said by Samantha when describing giving head to a guy, and when she swallowed, he had 'funky spunk'.  The grimace on her face combined with those two words relayed the experience very.... clearly.

But, I'm writing about a different context of funky spunk today, but the negative still kind of applies. 

I'm kind of a spunky person in the traditional definition -- or so I've been told.  I'm typically upbeat and positive, easy-breezy and light-hearted.  I get stressed, and then I freak out, then I'm good for a while.  Lately, though, I feel pretty blah -- I'm in a funk -- I'm feelin' funky, and by funky I don't mean nastysmellytasty or funkaaayyy as in gettin' mah groove-thang on.  I mean, I feel D~O~W~N.

This translates, in Jackies World, to some sort of change(s).  Centered in this storm is work.  Work's been incredibly stressful.  Admittedly, I'm pretty complacent there.  I remain challenged daily but am not an ambitious sort, so I don't overachieve or strive to be biggerbadderbetter.  I just do my stuff, call it a day, and leave.

Well, lately, there's been some reorganization.  The department I'm in is in flux, going through a growing pain of sorts.  Things got pretty tight and scary for a while, so, naturally, as human nature dictates, people have left for bigger and better things. 

Not me.

I remain unsettled in a place where for almost the last 10 years, I've been very stable.  I don't fear I'll lose my job (please, God), and I'm usually all about embracing change.  But, it must be the Aging Jackie that isn't taking these changes so easily.  I trust the process, like I always do, because I know that things will get better, I'll be a better employee, a better person.  Yet, my rationale isn't assuaging my emotionality about this.  Not yet anyway.  I still cry about some things.  I am still grieving some other things.  Yet, I'm there.  Trying.  Being.  Doing. Breathing. 

Interestingly, in the fallout (so to speak), some things are being said and done on the periphery.  I sense people saying, doing for me.  I sense people saying, doing with me.  I sense support and worry.  I know there's a worry that I'm going to leave, too.  I'm not going to conjecture on what the future holds.  For now, I'm taking the moment for NOW and trying NOT to focus on anything else.  Ordinarily, I'm so nice, I'd slay myself to the cause out of loyalty.  Opportunities are opening -- I hear a knock occasionally.  I answer the door.  I visit with Opportunity.  And listen. 

Listen.

This is what I need to do nowadays.  So, I will do just that -- listen.  (Maybe I'll go watch that episode of SATC to get a little laugh...IF I can sit still that long.)

~Trying really hard to be still~

MJ

Last night, My Little Family watched "This Is It", the Michael Jackson final video. 

I stepped away from it rather haunted, to be honest. 

I've really been ruminating about the epic phenomenon that is Michael Jackson.  Truly, he is amazing...  and polarizing.

When the world received the announcement of Michael's death, I was at work.  My initial reaction:  Good.  He's out of his misery.

I mean that from a place of love.  Truly, I do.

What a tragic life this man has lived, that which we've seen in the media. 

I'm in the minority when I say I truly don't think Michael Jackson is a child molester.  I understand that most people view him as that, but not me.  My theory is that he never grew up.  He was an adult body with a young mind, frozen in time, in his awkward childhood.  So, in the spirit of charity and a deep desire to be understood, accepted and loved, to mingle with boys -- young  boys -- was where he was most comfortable.  Do I think he maliciously sought out young children and touched them for his own sexual perverted kinky pleasure?  No, I don't.  I don't think Michael possessed a well-calibrated adult social compass, which ultimately led to a compromised integrity -- at least in the context of appearances as the media told the stories.  In other words, he didn't know better.  He didn't realize that he should not talk about those things to "minors".  In his mind, they weren't "minors"; they were "friends" - friends his own age.

Then again, maybe it's the NaïveJackie just choosing to look at the good in Michael. By focusing on the good is not a claim that I support his alleged misbehavior.  It means I think Michael Jackson, despite his trials and tribulations, was a good, GOOD soul.  Though so much of his life was tragic, he had a right and meaningful destiny:  LOVE.

Anyway, going back to watching the video, I was reminded of his raw, immense, broad and pure talent.  My mind remains blown away at him.  At the age of fifty, he could sing, dance like nobody's business, choreograph, feel each tempo, note, chord in such a raw and fluid way.  He absorbed every being, every vibration, assigning and executing each movement seen and unseen a purpose.  He was limber and methodical.  He appreciated talent.  He offered kind words in feedback sessions.  I was most impressed.

The other observation of the video is seeing him live life with child's eyes.  Despite his age, there was a very sweet innocence about him.  God tells us to view people with the eyes of a child so that we remain in a position of wonder, awe, curiosity and unconditional love, unhindered by life experience to cause us to be judgemental and fearful.  Somehow, Michael seems to be trying to reconcile the inhumanity of human-kind with his child-like love.  He GETS it.  He UNDERSTANDS what GOD'S love is, and he wants EVERYONE to feel it, too.  Nothin' wrong with that, and he used his fame and talent to try to pull others into that same child-like posture.

So, watching his body move, and the way in which he interacted with various players in the pending production, it appeared that when he danced, it wasn't just an artful expression, it was a release.  I imagine that he was in such pain and agony and angst his whole distorted life.  He was sucked dry.  He was almost lifeless -- just a shell of a person -- UNTIL he was on stage.  Then, his music transcended his body, raised up into the atmosphere and intoxicated generations of people, impacting multitudes of lives. And it gave him peace-at least for just a few moments.

He sang about political topics, but, I suppose, because his build and voice were so slight, he wasn't taken seriously.  Additionally, because his politics came from a place of L~O~V~E instead of from a place of strategy and selfish propagation of an unclear agenda, he wasn't received as a politically polarizing individual.  His songs Heal The World, Man In The Mirror, Black or White and others are good examples of caring for the Earth and Our Brethern.  I included these songs on my playlist.

I've added those and some of my other favorite MJ songs to the playlist.  You'll surely know them all.  If you don't, you're bitten by the bug now. 

Now get on witchyo bad self and D A N C E!

The Story Of Life

We're watching Planet 51 this morning, eating leftover cold pizza and drinking sortaflat soda for breakfast. 

My Little One:  Mom.  Why, in the movieeee, are all the evil peopllllle trying to hurt the good peoplllllle?
Me:  That's the story of life, love.
MLO:  Oh.

The end.

Grasping For Straws

Hoping for a Perfect Day in spite of the way I feel today.

View From My Back Patio

This is how Summertime Mondays in Texas are from my back patio....

Blowin' bubbles & hula hoopin'.

If My Life Was A Movie, Here's The Soundtrack

SO IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?




So, here's how it works:

1.) Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2.) Put it on shuffle

3.) Press play

4.) For every question, type the song that's playing

5.) When you go to a new question, press the next button

6.) Don't lie!

7) Sit back and reflect...!

8) Add your own comments/insights to the entries( in Parentheses)



Here's mine.....



Opening Credits: "I Love This Bar" by Toby Keith



Waking Up: "Promises in the Dark" by Pat Benetar



First Day of School: "Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado



Falling in Love: "Skin Divers" by Duran Duran (oh the irony....)



Fight Song: "Horse Pills" by The Dandy Warhols



Break- Up Song: "I'll Keep Your Memory Vague" by Finger Eleven



Prom: "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart



Mental Breakdown: "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse



Flashback: "Fields of Gold" by Sting



Wedding: "Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong


Birth of Child: "Wonder" by Natalie Merchant


Final Battle: "One Way or Another" by Blondie



Death Scene: "Too Late Marlene" by Duran Duran



Greet Death: "Break Me" by Jewel


Funeral Song: "Help, I'm Alive" by Metric



End Credits : "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol

Salt

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt lose its savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is good for nothing any more but to be cast out, and to be trodden on by men."  ~Matthew 5:13

+++++++++

Properties & usages of salt:  bonding, cohesion, flavorings, preservation, cleansing....

In olden times, salt was valued, therefore bartered or used as payment.  I learned that the word "salary" comes from that practice.  

I also learned that exchanging grains of salt from one's pouch with another's sealed a covenant. with one another.  The only way the covenant could be broken is if each tiny grain of salt was removed from the pouch in which it was placed.  (Yeah -- like that's possible!)

++++++++

This last week, I've had a crazycraving for salty things:  sodas, cashews, peanuts, popcorn, bacon, the whole nine yards.....  And I've partaken in it, too!  This has caused incredible thirst on my part, as you can imagine.  So yeah, I've been downing water something fierce.

Thursday night rolls around, and I attend a meeting at church.  I am among sisters, ladies with whom I share a special bond.  These are new friends to me.  We've all participated in a special spiritual retreat.  I was blessed to be invited to be on the team for the next go-round.  Without divulging too much of what I experienced on Thursday, I just had to document how awesome it was to find out WHY I was having such intense cravings for salt over the course of the last few days leading up to Thursday's kick-off meeting.  

My thirst for God's word....

Being salt is....

.....being bonded.

.....being cleansed.

.....being healed.

.....being preserved.

.....being flavored.

I like that I am called in such a special way.  I'm humbled by it.  I pray to do it justice.

Email me if you're interested in attending the September retreat.  

~Whoosh