In a way, when I take a cursory glance at the list, it burdens me. I am burdened knowing that I need to be delivered from some of these things even though I haven't ever thought until the moment I read this prayer that I desired any/all of these "unvirtues". I mean, aren't some of these things human nature? Aren't these various forms of validation and love (and EVERYONE needs validation and love!)?
I would contend there are some universal truths in the litany, it's wrong to desire to be esteemed, extolled, etc., especially at the expense of others. But is it wrong to want to be noticed. To be seen. To be.
It didn't take long for me to realize that in some form or another, my ego gets the best of me, then I feel an onus. I am not burdened by the previously unnoticed desires, rather, I am burdened by them even though I've never called them by name. (Does that even make sense?!)
This litany itemizes my "unvirtues", pulls me into their light and interrogates me. The fear-filled woman I was prior to prayer dissolves and I feel at rest, serene and fortified post-prayer.
This blessed litany itemizes that of which needs reconciliation, attention, contrition. It breathes and moves in ways that can be applied to all facets of my life in various degrees.
Possibly needless to say, I am praying it more often, and at the same time, I pray to be cognizant of that which I've unconsciously overseen and omitted -- and on the other end of the continuum -- that which I've kept on 'ignore' status.
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart,
Hear me.the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...
That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I,provided that I may become as holy as I should.
Amen
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