BAH! Who Needed Those Kitchen Sinks Anyway??

The water heater at my house went kaplooie on Sunday morning. Luckily the water heater closet is in our garage so the water didn't damage the interior of my home.

A technician that is affiliated with the home owner's warranty could not come until Monday. Fine. I understand that. No biggie. It's summer in Texas. A cold shower feels like a day at the pool to us. Cold shower day number one.

Later Sunday afternoon, the kitchen drains start backing up while dishes were being hand washed. Letting out the dishwater didn't help. The Man of the House took a plunger to those rascilly sinks and well, gunk (cool word, huh?) came out and water came up, but the drains were still illin'.

The technician can look at that, TOO, while he's "visiting" on Monday. Eating out dinner day number one.

Monday arrives.

The $55 service charge that was supposed to cover this whirlwind of maintenance has somehow inflated to the flabbergasting amount of approximately $300. Water heater is going to cost EXTRA due to coding compliance upgrades, AND it won't be installed until Wednesday. Cold shower days number two and three.

The Technician runs "his" snake down the drain about ten or eleven feet (there's a whole sexual innuendo there that I'll just skim and leave). His diagnosis: there's a broken pipe and you should NOT use your kitchen sinks until it's repaired. On Wednesday -- when he comes to install the new water heater -- he'll bring a camera to slide down the drain (kinky!) and come up with a game plan (role playing!). Eating out days number two and three.

Wednesday arrives.

Water heater is a beauty! We love it. Admire it. Are in awe of it. We have hot water again. Everyone take a steaming hot shower! Wheeee! Let's use up all the hot water and leave Jackie to take a cold shower. Wheeeee! (That didn't really happen but it almost did! Really!)

I get The Call from The Man of the House. Supposedly the camera confirms an alleged iron pipe that has possibly rusted and it just might, perhaps be broke-icated. And supposedly said Tecnician can set up some sort of wickedcool contraption that attaches to the drains under our sink, and somehow -- mysteriously -- runs into our attic and then into the sewer system and we are back in action.

(???WTF???) That's why HE is The Technician with the capital T. He has skillz and knowledge that no one else in our house does.

OR...***deep breath***

Option number two: Break through the floor of our dining room which is connected to the kitchen (it's a shared space), dig through the foundation and into the Earth, hunting for the broken iron pipe, rip it from its home, uproot it from its family, THEN throw in a replacement pipe that we'll all ogle and ahh once we get the pipe buried (another sexual innuendo), pat the dirt on top of it, somehow fix the foundation of my house and get new flooring for the dining area.

Yes, I *DO* see the bright side to all this drama! I'm sure you see it, too. Let's all say it together, shall we? "NEW FLOORING". Yayyyyyyyyyy!

Yeah -- NOT how I wanted new flooring.

And, yeah -- NOT covered by the home owners warranty OR the home owners insurance. NOT GOOD. Momma can't afford that kinda action!!

So now the special contraption doohickey thingamajiggy with the attic and the sewer is sounding so quite adventurous and more do-able. It also sounds like a bandaid to a problem that really needs major surgery. And this kind of surgery, my friend, is not cosmetic and elective.

I'm superstressedout as a result of this home ownership event. This kind of thing and I don't get along well. It's like when I have a new car and suddenly something in the engine goes wrong and I have to replace a part, I don't like that. I lose faith in the credibility and dependability of my car. I want a new one. I want a new house, now. I don't like this.

Who needs those kitchen sinks anyways? Let's just have sandwiches every night.

Or, do the dishes in the bathtub.

Or, get new floors......

Or.....