Sleeping Arrangements

My house is rarely a place of rest -- at least for me. The solitude for which I desperately long doesn't not exist here. This is not my sanctuary. Yet, it is serving a higher purpose; one that is temporary. I pray I have the perseverence to see it through. And I humbly accept that which I have been given. I suppose in a year's time, I'll be able to look in the rear view mirror with that gift of hindsight and see those stolen moments of quiet and peace I actually experienced in these tumultuous times, so I'll keep the faith. I am sad that I cannot yet call them by name when they occur.

One of my best friends is visiting. She lives in PA. Her aunt is also visiting. She lives in NY. The aunt's daughter deployed today for Iraq. Currently they are sleeping in my kid's bed. My Eldest is snoring on her stomach in her butterfly sleeping bag at the foot of our bed on the floor. My Little One, for the first time ever, is 'camping out' in her butterfly sleeping bag in my mother-in-law's room -- mother-in-law fast asleep in her own bed (a bed lent to her by my mom, though). My father-in-law lay asleep in the hospital bed in the living room. I think My Husband and I are the only people in our own bed.

This morning at 8:30, our doorbell rang. It was a geriatric doctor who makes house calls. She came by to assess my father-in-law. That was the beginning of the traffic in my home today. It's like that most days: physical therapy, home health nurse, occupational therapy. The family and friends visiting. The deacon of our church says he'll be by soon. Oh! The Eucharistic Minister comes by, though not as consistently. There's a lot going on here.

It's no wonder I feel out of sorts...unsettled....a feeling of not belonging.

Again, it's temporary. But it's still uncomfortable.

I just remembered why I really started this blog entry! (Funny how the mind works...)

The deacon gave the homily today at church (I love our deacon. I especially feel loved when he says to me in his Louisiana-speak, "well hello bebe".). Today's theme was about mercy and love, and how they are words used interchangeably. The homily ended with this exact phrase:

He loved me into being.

Wow! Beautiful, right? Even if you don't believe in God, it's a wonderfully profound and joyous notion to root yourself into...that you were created out of L O V E.