Why There Are Moms

I broke down on Mom's shoulder yesterday.



I'd been feeling something for a while, and then she called it by name. I heard it OUT LOUD and in my face and all I could do was collapse.



I haven't seen my mom in about 3 weeks. My Husband has been not working and job-shopping and has just this week landed a good gig (thank you God). So, Mom hasn't been needed to come babysit My Little One or pick up My Eldest from school or take care of my Mother-In-Law, who thankfully is becoming more and more independent. She's on the homestretch to physical recovery. Anyway, I've missed seeing my mom. And I've been so freakin' busy with work and stuff going on after work EVERY night.



My Mother-In-Law has been doing the dishes and the laundry. My Mom cooks dinner for my family but doesn't stay and eat with us. She also sweeps and mops the house, changes the sheets on all our beds and has even helped take off peeling wallpaper for the kitchen re-do. My Husband is taking care of the money and the yard, any fixes around the house, and the cars.



What am *I* doing?



I really don't know what I'm doing.



I've had this ooky feeling swirling in the quiet depths of my cavity for a while now....that I'm not doing enough. Everyone is doing for me. I wonder if this is what it feels like to be rich? Because if it is, I feel icky. It's so weird that everyone is carrying me right now. I've tried and tried to be rational about it knowing that it takes a village and all that stuff. There have been times I carried the load, and now, it's my turn to have the load carried for me.

But. Still....

A lingering haunts me still.

I feel like all I do is go to work, come home, function, rest. Awaken, work, home, function, rest. I seriously don't do anything else. How can this be healthy?

Mom summed it up best when she said, "we're running the house for you".

I broke down:
Yeah. And everyone else gets to raise my kids, do my housework, run errands for me. My job gets the best of me each day. I get to see my kids 2-4 hours a night and I'm grumpy or tired. It doesn't seem fair...."

All she could do was hug me.

And, really, that's all I needed.

Thanks, Mom.