Aw Poop!

Today I had the blessing of staying home from work, although it wasn't as a result of something good. My mother in law cares for My Little One while we work. My mother in law is ill, so I had to stay home to care for My Little One (darn).

My Little One and I head out the door at 3:00 to pick up My Eldest from school. On the way out, I grab the diaper bag, my purse, the Barbie pool bag that Friend From Virginia handed down to us (thanks again y'all!). Arrive to the school by 3:10, wait in the pick up line, collect said Eldest and head downtown to swim lessons.

I've only taken My Eldest to swim lessons once or twice before, so I always get lost going to the facility. The swim center is at a major hospital here in Dallas, so it's literally a college campus area down there. Combine my lack of sense of direction, rush hour and bad memory and well...it's a formula for disaster.

I circle around twice trying to find the familiar street and parking lot. Suddenly, something overcomes me and I nearly pass out. No kidding. I smell poop. Special poop. It's poop that's been in the making for a good long while. It's fermented and ripe. I had to roll down the windows so I could quit suffocating. My Little One had soiled her diaper and all I could think was mean thoughts. This rank reminder of motherhood kept swirling around my nairs; it was all I could to do get to the swim center.

I find it without having to circle a third time. My Eldest is giggling and making fun of My Little One. I said, Oh Little One -- *that* is *rank*! Eldest giggles out the question, "what is rank, mommy?" I tell her the definition. She registers it in her vocabulary repertoir. (Ahh -- my little language sponge. Love it! She's just like me. *preen*)

I planned to take the girls into the swim facility, change diaper on baby then get big sister ready for swimming. Best laid plans...what's that saying? It applies here. As soon as I pick up the baby.....squish. I close my eyes.

To Eldest I say, "uhhh, I think mommy's going to change the diaper here." Yeah. The diaper isn't the only thing that needed changing. We ended up throwing THE WHOLE OUTFIT into the dumpster. There was warm baby poop everywhere. Oh it's so disgusting. I feel dirty just typing it here. Poor Eldest. I'm trying to get help from her. I ask her to hand me a wipe at a time. She doesn't get it. So I'm barking at her. She gets more flustered and therefore less helpful. Little One is crying and squirming dirty nasty ass all over the changing pad. I am dropping wipe after soiled wipe on the pavement. Eldest can't get over that part. She keeps asking me quesitons unrelated to her task. I continue to bark at her. She continues to get uneasy. Bad, bad ju-ju.

As always, we manage. Little one is now dressed in a onesie and her tennis shoes. Looked totally funny. She's much happier though. She's the only one happy. Changing this diaper must've taken 15 mintues. Now we're almost late to the swim class. Why can't things EVER go the way I plan them??

Fast forward to after class. We are walking out to the parking lot to head home. Everyone's recovered. Plop, drip I feel on my shoulder. I stop walking. "Eldest," I beckon, as I turn my back to her, "did a bird just poop on me?"

She busts out laughing. "Yes, mommy! Ewww gross!!"

I nod my head and continue walking. A bird shat on me. It shat on my favorite Duran Duran t-shirt. What a perfect way to end the swim class -- the same way it started -- shitty.

Greatest Birthday Gift ... EVER

Last Saturday, two close-friends-families joined my family for HIBACHI dinner. Hibachi is highly entertaining, especially for the kiddos (once the get past their initial fright of fire). Just the very word HIBACHI is fun to say!! Anyway, it was a birthday celebration dinner. We threw in one October birthday from one of the families, a December birthday from the other family, and then mine. It was quite a fun night, indeed.

Gwynnethe, my friend from one of the families who tagged along, was so thoughtful! She bought me a gift. But it wasn't a picture frame, or a candle, or body wash. Nooooo. It was a gift so personal, so individually thought up, so carefully constructed, so cleverly original, that I just HAD to share it with you!

It's a CVS Survival Guide!! (See previous post that I can't figure out how to hyperlink properly. This best I can do. It's entitled "My Own Private....")

Contents of CVS Survival Guide:
* toy cell phone
* deoderant
* maxi pads
* playing cards
* a paperback novel
* water
* toothbrush
* toothpaste
* moisturizing cream
* a gift card
* a brush with 2 rubber bands
.....all of these products: CVS BRAND!!!

Now *that* took some thought!! Thank you, Gwynnethe -- and oh, no public apology was necessary, Love. Life gets in the way of a lot of fun things. We are friends and don't feel cheated in any way.

Whoosh!

Letter to my daddy

Hi Daddy.

Today, six years ago, I said my last goodbye to you. I don't know if you heard it, but I believe you did. I'll never forget caring for you those last days...the last hours...that you were trapped by your disease, choked by cancer, oblivious to the world you were leaving behind. It was the roughest thing I've ever seen, done, experienced....but what a blessed gift it was at the same time. I learned about God from your death. I learned to not fear death. I learned that I could care for a sick person compassionately. I learned what Cancer is like in the end. I learned a few things about our family too, but will keep that tucked in my back pocket.

Your Eldest Granddaughter was there when you died. When you were still awake, but could not talk, you were aware of her. This four month old you asked to have placed on your chest so you could touch her -- love her to the very end. It's unforgettably painful and beautiful at the same time. The human spirit is amazing. As complicated as the spirit can be, you longed for and gave out the simplest of needs: love. Love of a baby. Love of your legacy. I'm so thankful that you got to meet her, Daddy. I'm so thankful that you got to see how beautiful she is, and that she brought you some smiles. And, part of me that is so incredibly sad and grieving that you'll never meet Your Little Granddaughter. I make sure my kids know who you are, Daddy. They know you are special, and wonderful, and that you are real. You would be so breathtaken with Your Little Granddaughter. She's so vibrant and radiant and FUNNY. And BLONDE! Can you believe she's a BLONDIE??

Today, I was so happy as I left to work. I got to the building, and was waiting at the elevator. I looked down and guess what I saw? A penny. A bright, shiny, 2006 penny. It was you. You were saying "hi" to me. I find these pennies at the times I need them most. So, I picked you up, took you to my desk, and you sit now on my keyboard so I could think of you all day.

You're missed, Daddy. Oh so much, you're missed. I love you beyond words and beyond time. Thanks for bringing me into this world. I can't wait to see you in the next one.

Love forever,
Jackie

Milestone

9 days short of 11 months old, My Little One took her first steps today!! YAY

MIL watches her while we work. MIL was leaving today in the snow. We have a see through storm door at our front entrace, and when MIL turned to wave goodbye to My Little One, My Eldest and me, I put My Little One down into a standing position (she's been standing for a while now...). She was about 2 or 3 steps shy of reaching the door.

MIL waves, Little One screams and flaps her arms like she's a bird. Then suddenly, just like that, step, step, step!! She walked toward MIL! I pulled her back and she did it again!! We all saw it! It was so wonderful!! She was so pleased with herself. Hubby came home on the 3rd time of me pulling her back and her walking toward the door, so he got to see it too.

All through the night, we'd stand her up and she'd walk. Eventually she walked taking many steps without falling, without losing her balance. So amazing. So exciting.

Then, as we all ate dinner, Little One was sitting on Hubby's lap. Eldest eats her french fry and says, "now she's just like us!"

Yes, she is....yes, she is.