What a birthday party!

If you're a regular here, I know you think I'm gonna write about me...

Just cuz my birthday is in 2 weeks doesn't mean it's all about me this month.

However, birthdays do seem to be the subject of the month in January. Capricorns and Aquarians are celebrating en masse in our family. We even have an offical "January birthdays birthday party". Today, I am not writing about the "miracle of me".

Ever dream?

Ever have a dream right before you wake up?

Ever feel the feelings of that dream haunting you in Awake Life all day long?

That happened to me today. And it wasn't a good dream....but it was a funny dream. (I'm sure I'm opening myself up to either much teasing by all my friends and family and/or some serious internet psycho-scrutiny and I'll be a subject of much textbook publication about dream interpretation. Feel free to post comments about what YOU think this all means...) Here goes:

In the dream, My Eldest was invited to a fairy-themed birthday party. I dress her up in a green sherbert colored glittery fairy costume and we show up at this meadow of a place for the party. In the backdrop, quite a distance away, is a tall castle. In the foreground is a large tree, and lots of children running and playing in their fairy outfits. They are even flying around.

It's the kind of party where a parent drops off the kid (not that I would EVER do this, but in my dream I did it -- reluctantly). So, I bid her fairwell and she starts flying around the sky wand in hand.

Two hours later, I show up at The Meadow to pick her up. It's quiet. No kids. Not even the castle! Just an open field and the tree. I see the parent who invited us to the party under the tree. She stands, walks towards me. (This is where it gets really weird...)

Me: Where's My Eldest?
Her: Ummm....she's not here anymore. (no emotion)
Me: (lots of emotion) What do you mean 'she's not here anymore'? !
Her: She's been abducted....
Me (more emotional) WHAT DO YOU MEAN ABDUCTED??!!
Her: ....the ninjas came...took them all....she's been taken to the underground world of child Ninja training.

I know you're laughing.

I am laughing just typing it.

If you aren't laughing....you're weird.

So...in order to get my daughter back, I had to contact her former real life Montessori teacher who acted as a liaison between me and this Underground World. In her lap, was a small, flat television screen. On the little TV is a split-screen picture of My Eldest as she was when I dropped her off at the party: cute, all of 6 innocent years old, pig tails, a waving a wand in her left hand, sweet smile with empty spaces of recently lost teeth. The in the other picture of her, a small framed person is dressed in black completely, holding weapons, completely unidentifiable as My Eldest. I have puffy eyes, tissue in hand. The Teacher is on the phone, "so, okay, you've cut her hair...." She eyes me as she nods. Then she begins to draw on the TV screen.

You ever look at Perez Hilton's website? You know how those drawings are added to pictures with the white "pen"? (Or you know how John Madden will sometimes illustrate football schemes during a football game?) Well, The Teacher had a pen like that. She drew My Eldest's new hairstyle over the pig tails in the fairy picture. All the while she's saying, "I see" and "mmm hmmm" and "sure...I understand".

She covers the speaker of the phone and looks at me square in the eye, "Jackie. She has a different hairstyle. Do you still want her back?" The Teacher shows me the picture drawing super short, hacked off hair on My Eldest.

Are you friggin kidding me??? OF COURSE I WANT HER BACK!!!!

Know that picture-in-picture technology? My dream switched to that mode, and in the lower right hand corner, I could see a live picture of My Eldest --- my punky monkey -- my sweetie. At least I *think* that ninja is my sweetie pie. Is it my fairy punky ninja monkey?

In the big picture, is me and The Teacher agreeing that we will take My Eldest back sans hair.

I wake up before the phone is hung up so I have no idea if I get My Eldest back or not. So all day, I was frustrated, sad and just generally irritated. (Conversely, a few nights before that I awoke from a dream where I was on a yacht sailing the world with Simon Baker from the Devil Wears Prada. All he was wearing was a pair of jeans and a sexy smile. THAT was a GOOD day.)

I tell My Eldest about The Fairy Ninja dream. She thought it was rather cool.

Eldest: Did you know who I was?
Me: No, love, I didn't.
Eldest: Did I come back and kick your butt?

Love, you do that every day in real life.....

Whoosh!