It's May 1st

You can have your Lei Day, Hawaii.

Welcome to the United States, Guam.

Happy Anniversary to Elvis & Priscilla!

Ayrton Senna, you were a grace to this world.

But today, Cocullo, Italy wins May 1st in my book.

Welcome to the Serpent Ceremony:

Confession: Team Valor

Add me, if so inclined.

Flashback Friday: The $3000 Sweatshirt

I attended University of Texas, Dallas and I bought this sweatshirt because, y'know, school pride or some such bull poo. I ended up dropping out of school that semester, so this sweatshirt has forever been dubbed The $3000 Sweatshirt.

Boa has worn it regularly, so at least I'm getting some mileage out of it. *eyeroll*

Eighteen Years

Dear Dad,

I love you!

I'm writing to wish you a Happy REbirthday. It's a thing, right? I believe you are reborn in some everlasting way, so cheers! 

You died 18 years ago today, in body. I'll always know the number of years because it's the same as Boa's age. You should see her now, Daddy! She's glorious, wonderfully charming, intelligent, funny. She's just like you! Can you believe she'll be graduating this year? She's hoping to go to college in Colorado. *fingers crossed*

That Little One honors you in so many ways. She's keen and witty. She never met you, but she knows you, that's for sure! Just today, she told me a story of finding a penny, heads-up, on the desk next to hers at school. She recognized it was you saying hello to her! She loves you. You'd be so proud of her. 

How are things where you are now that Mom's with you? Probably a little noisier. hehe I'm imagining what that might look like. Are you two reunited? Are you lights in this galaxy? Would you be together in the same dimension? Or are you both apparitions, having drinks, listening to country music and talking about family like when you were amongst the physical living? Or am I writing to nothing, no one? 

I still have mom's ashes. She asked to be spread where you are, so that trip is coming up soon. For now, she resides with me. I talk to her sometimes. She helps me cook and bosses me about how I raise My Girls. She keeps me company when I'm home alone. 

I'm gonna wrap this up and take care of some things, Dad, but you are always with me. I'm always with you.

Miss you,
--Juliette

Merry Christmas

Follow us on IG @gabeandfinny!

Hope your holiday season is filled with love. 

May you sit in stillness, in quiet, and marvel at the moment.

Love,

Whoosh, My Little One and My Eldest

Gabe and Finn

Eighteen

It's quiet.
And dark.
And still.
And still,
I'm awake.

You, my brown eyed beauty,
Today, you're eighteen.

Memory lane moves fast!
I am so proud of you now and always!

+

I made a playlist of all the number one songs on the pop/top 40 music charts on October 8th from the year 2000 through today. Here's the soundtrack of your life:

2000: Come on Over Baby (All I Want is You) - Christina Aguilera
2001: Fallin' - Alicia Keys
2002: A Moment Like This - Kelly Clarkson
2003: Baby Boy - Beyonce
2004: Goodies - Ciara
2005: Gold Digger - Kanye West
2006: SexyBack - Justin Timberlake
2007: Crank That (Soulja Boy) - Soulja Boy
2008: Whatever You Like - T.I.
2009: I Gotta Feelin' - Black Eyed Peas
2010: Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars <3 p="">2011: Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5
2012: One More Night - Maroon 4
2013: Royals - Lorde
2014: All About that Bass - Megan Trainor
2015: The Hills - The Weeknd
2016: Closer - The Chainsmokers
2017: Bodak Yellow (Money Moves) - Cardi B
2018: Girls Like You - Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B

And some fun additions:

8TEEN - Khalid
Eighteen - One Direction

Duran Duran Appreciation Day 2018

May you have cherry ice cream smiles, views to a kill, diamonds in the mine, free butterfly girls and la la la la lava lamps!

International Cat Day

The Life of A Dead Woman: Legacies

June 19th Mom became ....Infinite. 

Me, my kids, my brother, his wife & kids & the oneandonly great-grandchild surrounded her. Her eyes sunken, her mouth agape, her loyal chihuahua between her calves, the continuous care nurse checking for heartbeat until her gentle blessing, “she’s gone”.

We all told her we love her.

I rubbed her shin, noticing the curl of her big toe, telling her we are all here, no need to wait anymore. We promised to take care of her dog, who is quite old.

Before getting to her bedside, I reassured My Girls that seeing their grandmother in this state is totally their choice. I tried to give them information so as to set a relatively realistic expectation. They both chose to go in but shortly after, My Little One asked to be excused. I am proud of their honest, vulnerable courage to make the choices they did.  It's a difficult task - teaching that death is part of life. 

I'd like to thank my brother & his family for accepting the challenge, embracing the tasks of caring for our mom through her end-of-life. It can be difficult to have a parent living with you, let alone a dying one. They allowed medical staff & clergy to come & go. There were trying times, but in the end, what won was mom's comfort. 

We are left with Her Infinity, Her Legacy. A woman who taught all of us how to LIVE, how to FIGHT, how to LAUGH. We are imprinted with the woman she was before she was our mother. 

For Us Left Behind, all of us in our own way witnessed what smoking can do to one's body: the addiction, the COPD, the hospital visits, the rehabs. We were riding that emotional rollercoaster with her. My brother nor I smoke. Our kiddos all seem pretty disgusted by it (hopefully enough to not do it in their adult years!).

She would say how lucky she is to have lived as long and as fully as she did. I think she figured she wasn't going to have the longevity she had. She was raised in an abusive home & some abusive relationships, living all her life completing school to only the ninth grade. She survived four different kinds of cancers and wore that fact like a badge of honor. (She smoked until the final month of her life, unapologetically!) 

My brother and I will drive to west Texas to spread her ashes among those of our father's. I am looking forward to that event. Writing about it now, I'm tearing up because I can't imagine the feels I'll experience when that moment is real. I'm sure I will feel some serenity, though.

Friday the 13th Words of Wisdom