Monsignor's Prayer

I made it to Mass on Saturday night and cried quite a bit.  I heard bits and pieces of the homily, but mostly I admired him, dressed in red and gold, beaming in glory.  I also made it to two of the four Sunday Masses.  I wanted to attend one by myself so I could hear him and what God is saying to me, so I did.  Then My Eldest had to attend the final Mass because she sings in the children's choir.  I took a couple photos but haven't figured out how to take them off my phone yet.  Anyway, I managed to retain one of his favorite prayers that he asked the Assembly to repeat with him.  (I was so choked up I couldn't say it out loud, but I did move my mouth to the sound.)

You in Me.
Me in You.
One Heart.

God in Me.
God in You.
One God.

*sigh*

Simple and deep.  True.  Raw.  All-encompassing.  Perfect.

Music Minute: Metric

I fell into liking this band by accident.  I missed their show when the swung through town a few months back, but I find myself  keeping up with them here and there and, well, everywhere.  Amazingly, I heard one of their songs at a Dallas Stars game or two over the course of this last season, and I even heard them on Dallas radio a few weeks back.  Whoa, Nellie!

Anyway, this band is called Metric.  They're a Canadian talent that seems to be big up yonder, as well as across the pond.  Here's hoping they have some SUCCEXY in the States, too.

~whoosh~

Death and Resurrection: A Story About A Girl and A Priest

I was dead when I first saw him.  I wasn't interested in being alive, especially enlivened by him.  Yet, I was oddly attracted and couldn't stay away.

Then...it happened.

My chest burst open and the death inside me rushed out.  In the madness of it all, life settled in and my soul was resurrected.

The same man will die this weekend and I can't do anything to stop it.  His death is a death to me, too.

I'm powerless.

I am dying again.  I am dying by the departure of the man who brought me to life.

Yes, he was "only" the vessel, but his mere existence converted me.  

I'm finding that I'm almost as sad as when my dad died, which makes sense.  When I first met My Husband, my biological father had just been diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer.  One father departing, another entering.  Cycle of Life, wouldn't you agree?  (On a side note, I was also pregnant!)

When I met My Husband, the only draw back to him was that he is Catholic.  It's also important to stress that when I met My Husband, I was Agnostic AND anti-Catholic.

My, my, my how times have changed.

I remember the first time My Husband mentioned going to church with him.  I cringed inside.  I smiled outside.  I nodded my head graciously like a kind, Southern girl, pulling strands of wind-blown hair from my cheek and tucking it behind my ear.  Inside, I was so disappointed.  But I liked him enough to want to spend ANY time with him ....even if it was at church!

So I went.

The church was empty yet gorgeous.  I felt swallowed by the simplicity, and the crucifix.  I was intimidated as we sat there waiting for Mass to start.

Mass never started.  Not that night anyway.  My Husband got the times all mixed up, so we tried again another day.  And then my spiritual life was never the same.

Monsignor Don is a father figure to me.  Between My Husband and Monsignor and the death of my biological father, I was brought to God the Father.  It wasn't until my biological father actually died did I really embrace a belief in God the Father. 

This seems an overly dramatic way to tell you that my favorite priest is retiring this weekend.  Pentecost will be his last homilies in my church.  I can't tell you how heartbroken and utterly grief-stricken I am.  I knew the day was coming.  I knew his calming voice, shiny bald head, flowing frocks in the split sunlight wouldn't last my lifetime, and I didn't want the day to come ever.  Like a petulant four year old being denied my way, I am pouting.  

The upside to this weekend is that My Eldest will be singing in the choir.  The angelic voices of children singing will surely make me blubber uncontrollably, but I will indeed, be revived....again.

 

Miss you already, Monsignor!  xo

P.S. If you are interested in reading or hearing him, please reference below:

Pastoral Reflections
WRR Classical 101.1 FM - Pastoral Reflections every Sunday morning at 10:00
Pastoral Reflections Institute

If You Only Knew...

...how many blogs in draft I have, you'd be amazed. 

I haven't been blogging as much because I've been trying to stay away from the computer at night and plug into my family and sleep.  I work during the day so time to blog is scarce.  I miss it a lot.  I do find myself writing more in journals with actual pen and paper, but it's just not the same. 
I'll try to finish up some blogs and get the posted -- but then again, it's not like this blog is missed.  :)  It's intended for me.  It happens to be stumbled upon by you.  If you are a fan, I thank you. 

XO

Music Minute: Kelly Clarkson

I know I'm a little behind the times here, but I've recently started listening to Kelly Clarkson more and more.  I'm diggin' her stuff.  Recently, "All I Ever Wanted" was playing on RadioDisney (cuz I'm hip like dat) and I HAD to find out who was singing it!

I like KC's style.  I like how independent she seems to be -- not conforming to the Hollywood ideas of how a woman should look, recording her own stuff in her own way, coming back to Texas to be a Texas girl.  She's got a good mix of tough and feminine goin' on. 

Since U Been Gone, You're All I Ever Wanted!  My Life Would Suck Without You, Miss Independent.  Addicted!

(OH!  I another reason I like her so much is because not so long ago, I did one of those celebrity look-alike thingies and she was the result.  SCORE for moi! *strut*)

Best Prayer Ever! (Prayer of Cardinal Newman)

Teach me, Lord, to be sweet and gentle in the events of life, in disappointments, in the thoughtlessness of others, in the insincerity of those I trusted, in the unfaithfulness of those on whom I relied.  Let me put myself aside, to think of the happiness of others, to hide my little pains and heartaches, so that I may be the only one to suffer from them.

Teach me to profit by the suffering that comes across my path; let me use it that it may mellow me, not harden and embitter me, that it may make me patient, not irritable, that it may make me broad in my forgiveness, not narrow, haughty or overbearing.

May no one be less good for having come within my influence; no one less pure, less true, less kind, less noble for having been a fellow traveler in our journey toward eternal life.

As I go my rounds from one distraction to another, let me whisper, from time to time, a word of love to you.  May my life be lived in the supernatural, full of power for good and strong in its purpose of sanctity.

Dear Jesus, help me to spread your fragrance everywhere.  Flood my soul with your spirit and life.  Penetrate and possess my whole being so completely that my life may be only a radiance of yours.  Shine through me, and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel your presence in my soul.  Let them look up and see me no longer, but only Jesus.

Amen

~Prayer of Cardinal Newman

Dear Texas, I'm still sad. Love, Jackie

(But still...this is a pretty kickass view, so had to share....)

40 x 40?

Perception is reality.

Workin' on what this means exactly...and what it means for me.

kthnxbye

Dear Texas. I'm Sad. kthnxbye. ~Jax

Birthin' Bebbays

On the car ride home from Dinner With The Eldest's Godparents:

Eldest:  Mom, Little One wants to know how a baby gets out of your belly when it's born.
Me:  You *really* wanna know?
Eldest:  Yes, she does!
Me:  *glance at Little One for affirmation*
Little One:  *big smile and head nod 'yes'*
Me:  Ohh-kayyy.  The baby comes out of my vagina.
Little One:  *makes scrunched up face*
Eldest:  *giggles wildly*
Me:  It does!
Little One:  *face still scrunched, tongue bent out then says*  Ewww...I came out mommy's BUTT!

And that, my friends, is how a baby is birthed.