October 15th: Blog about Climate Change

I'm not sure I can do it justice, but I'm all about unity for good causes (even ones I don't know a lot about or personally advocate in my day to day living).  I'm digging that blogger is part of this global activity.

I hope my fellow bloggers give this a go, and if you've considered starting a blog, well, now's your time!

Testing mobile blogging via SMS.

U2/Muse

Just reminding you that I'm going to see the greatness of U2 & Muse tonight with KBD at the Death Star.

Unless you're going....

The don't be.

~

Hope to see you there.

x

And Then There Were Nine....

You ARE special today.  And EVERY day, love.

xo

Salona Barber, Part Deux

She clearly breathes it.

Seems she sleeps it.

I wonder if she eats it, too?

(Ew.)

That basket embraced by My Little One is the Basket O' Clips - the very same clips that adorned my hair last night (see yesterday's post).

God, how I love this kid!

Salona Barber Saves the Night

My Little One says her name is Salona Barber as she busily clips my hair and styles it for the royal ball tonight.  I had no idea I was going until I started playing Monopoly with My Eldest on our living room floor.  Suddenly Miz Barber had a basket full of clips.  It all happened so fast!

Anyway, I was told that my hair was most stylish and impressive.  What do you think?

(Sorry you FB friends who get to see this twice!)

This One's For Theo

I added "All the Wine" by The National for Theo. 

This one's for you Ninja!

The Wondering

Alone.
Sitting in the closet.
It's dark.
Makeup removed.
Hair disheveled.
Only a light from the laptop shines.
I read.

It almost pains me to read it.
In fact, I am writhing.

I lose myself there.
Only in bits and pieces.
I can't do it for too long.
Lest my heart leave my chest.

I'm so curious.
So, SO curious.

Looking up at the mirror.
I'm looking back at me.
Shadows shade the parts to hide.
And I wonder.
I can't stop The Wondering.

Should I?
Should The Wondering cease?

THIS Life Is Meant For ME

So why not the others?

Stage Actress
Film Star
Globetrotting Philanthropist
French/English Translator
FBI Profiler
Sports Photographer
Humanitarian Activist
Forensic Pathologist (does this blog count??)
Published Author
Lawyer
Truck Driver
Doctor
Therapist
Stay At Home Mom/Wife

These were the things I longed to be, some from childhood, some from today.  Yet, I am none of them.  Not even just a little.  Part of me is sad about that fact.  Part of me is still grieving.  The same part of me grieves for daydreamt lives unknown and education not yet earned.  After all these years, I am still haunted by the losses, those choices.

It's natural, right?  I mean, it's normal for a girl like me to think about the girl that could've been, used to be, should've been, might've been.  We all do that, right?  It doesn't mean I'm unhappy with where I am and what I have.  It doesn't mean I don't appreciate it, and am ever grateful and humbled by my gifts -- even the unwelcomed ones. 

The passion I have to offer has no place to dwell outside of me, yet I feel it's angry hand shoving against my elastic chest, stretching the chest walls like a very full bubblegum bubble.  As an outlet, I've made practice of reading experiences of real people, listening to their stories of adventure and allowing my passion to feed off those details and some how become satiated; however, it's not working anymore.  The more stories of adventure I hear and read make me want to MOVE.  They make me want to BE.  They make me want to transcend vicariousness and leap feverishly into empowered life, living, breathing, being that which I long to do, be, see, offer.....

Oddly, it's moments like this I crave the solitude.  The complete solitude of an open meadow, and timeworn stone building, laboring the land, prayer for hours on end -- a spiritual catharsis.  

I know I have all I need.  In the end that's all that matters, right?

I trust the process.

I just wish I could get past the pushing, stifled passion....

To Be Smarter Than...

OMGosh!  The Return of My Favorite Music!  The Return of My Music Widget! 

Music on my page -- on autoplay! 

I figured out how to add music back to my blogger page!  I'm soooo thrilled!  It's a satisfying feeling to know that I can be smarter than the applications at times.

With that being said, feast your ears on the wickedcool "Endlessly" by Muse (instrumental.  With words, it's pretty freakin' bitchen, too.  If you listen long enough, you'll hear BOTH!  SCORE one for you!).  I will be seeing Muse with U2 on October 12 at the Death Star, just in case anyone's interested. 

I'm a happyjackie today!