Wonder Whoosh

Stealing A Valentine

2012-02-14T07:34:00.000-08:00

My friend, Naughty, inspires me. Her nickname I use for her here suggests something different that what I'm about to type. You see, she's the fiercest lover I know. And by lover, I mean, a person who strives to love in a multitude of ways. She's keenly aware of her shortcomings and failures and works to overcome them, not let them limit her, not let them jade her love for people (and animals).

A few years ago, on My Space, she picked *me* as her Valentine and wrote some sweet words about me. I was blown away and deeply, infinitely humbled. Her blog post revealed to me that Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about love in the traditional sense of boyfriend-girlfriend, husband-wife. Valentine's Day is yet another opportunity to tell someone -- anyone -- you love him/her. Her blog post inspired me to do the same. Bottom line: Valentine's Day isn't just about romance. It's about L~O~V~E!

Naughty posted these words of love wisdom and I am compelled to share them here (orginal credit to Robert Ciantar):

Listen without interrupting
Speak without accusing
Give without sparing
Pray without ceasing
Answer without arguing
Share without pretending
Enjoy without complaint
Trust without wavering
Forgive without punishing
Promise without forgetting

I have a LOT of growth left, and a lot of work to do!

Also, don't forget THIS!

And thank you, Naughty, for your devotion, friendship and being a fierce fighter of LOVE.

(P.S. New music on my player! "Love" ~ a cover of the John Lennon song as sung by Matt Sucich.)

You KNOW Things Are Bad When.....

2012-02-08T12:30:00.001-08:00

....I don't even post a blog on my birthday about my birthday!

Whoosh!

Twenty One Number Ones

2012-01-17T21:00:00.000-08:00

On 1310 AM The Ticket today, The Hardline (evenings 3-7) was reviewing Corby's list of songs that were number one on the U.S. music charts from his birthday through age 21. Danny reviewed his last week (I missed it), and next up is The Old Gray Wolf himself, Mike.

Inspired by the segment, I decided to post *my* list of songs that were number one on the U.S. music charts from January 27, 1971 until my 21st birthday in 1992.

Being born in the 70's will make some interesting findings, I'm sure. The decade was hippie-laden and disco funky. I came of age in the 80's. Though I'm not much of a traditional 80's music fan, I'm sure to get a giggle or seven from the list. I turned 21 in the early 90's and was sort of out of the music scene by then, too wrapped up in a new nephew, my boyfriend, college and other silly stuff.

71: Knock Three Times ~ Tony Orlando & Dawn
72: American Pie ~ Don McLean
73: Superstition ~ Stevie Wonder
74: The Way We Were ~ Barbara Streisand
75: Laughter In The Rain ~ Neil Diamond
76: Love Rollercoaster ~ Ohio Players
77: Car Wash ~ Rose Royce
78: Baby Come Back ~ Player
79: Le Freak ~ Chic
80: Rock With You ~ Michael Jackson
81: The Tide Is High ~ Blondie
82: I Can't Go For That (No Can Do) ~ Hall & Oates
83: Down Under ~ Men At Work
84: Owner Of A Lonely Heart ~ Yes
85: I Want To Know What Love Is ~ Foreigner
86: That's What Friends Are For ~ Dionne & Friends
87: At This Moment ~ Billy Barrett & The Beaters
88: Need You Tonight ~ INXS
89: Two Hearts ~ Phil Collins (*year I graduated high school. My class song was "Forever Young by Rod Stewart. #jackietrivia)
90: How Am I Supposed To Live Without You ~ Michael Bolton
91: The First Time ~ Surface
92: Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me ~ Elton John & George Michael

Well, well, well....all in all, I'd say January 27th folks fared very well in music! Throw out the hoaky song of 1990, overall, the list is decent.

Accounting for inflation and depreciation, amortized over 35 years, anyone else see the giggle in the fact that a group called "Player" sang a song called "Baby Come Back"? (1978)

The songs I'd never heard (of) until compiling this list:

* Laughter In The Rain: Now that I've listened to the song, I realize I HAVE heard the song! I love the interwebs!

* Love Rollercoaster (had to post it for Wolfman Jack greatness!). Now that I've listened to the song, I realize I HAVE heard the song (redux)! I can tell you with 1000% certainty I didn't know until *this blog post* that the superhighpitched part, those dudes are saying "rollahcoastah". Wow. I feel very, very whitegirl, yet so enlightened (no pun intended).

* The First Time: Now that I've listened to the song, I realize I HAVE heard the song (redoux)! What a way to end my list! NOT a fan of this song. No wonder I checked out of music in the early 90's.....

Sadly, no Duran Duran. My favorite band, a band Of The Eighties, not on my list. I'm rather sad about this..... Not even one!#seewhatididthere

I'm going to go look up my family's as well as mine for the UK Charts. I'm interested in comparing the U.S. to the U.K. list & I'll be sure to share it with you.

Go do yours and share your results!

~WHOOSH

Playoff Football!

2012-01-15T11:27:00.000-08:00

Cheering on for the OTHER Texas team:
H O U S T O N * T E X A N S

The File Room Lady

2012-01-13T08:24:00.000-08:00

The one sort of "friend" I've made at my new job got fired today.

Happy Friday the 13th to her, right? *party*

When embarking on my new job opportunity, I consciously decided I wouldn't make friends. I would be nice, cordial, friendly, but not open to bonding. I don't particularly want a lunch buddy, nor do I want to be involved in matters of your life. I don't want to share my own life with co-workers. It's enough for me to say "I'm sick and can't come in", and exchange niceties. I don't want you knowing what my kids wore for Halloween, what I'm doing for Christmas, and so forth. Moreover, I don't want to be a part of the gossip pool that exists in offices. I'm here to learn, to do, to leave.

Yet, it started happening. I guess it can't not.

There's one lady that worked in our file room that I found particularly interesting. She was on contract-hire status. She's from Mexico City. She moved from Mexico on her own to the United States - Houston, Texas - as a teenager so she could advance her education. She knew no one.

She eventually got married, had a child. That child now attends Southern Methodist University, studying science/pre-med, something or other. The two of them moved to Dallas and live together; her husband remains in Houston. She doesn't allow her daughter to work so that she can concentrate on studies.

Given my background of living along the border, I found it easy to talk with her at certain company gatherings and the two of us tended to gravitate toward each other. During an outing, she mentioned she's learning Hebrew. Then she later shared she's Jewish -- NOT a convert, either!

I found this to be QUITE fascinating for, in all my years of being in El Paso, never had I heard of Mexican Jews! Given my interest in both culture and religion, I was naturally curious to learn more. Conversation struck up from time to time.

I've not been at my current job for very long. I've noticed how some of my co-workers condescendingly talk to her, treat her. I've admired how my "friend" worked through the mistreatment. After hearing a little about her plight, I understood better why she does.

The bottom line is that I feel like she's being wrongly fired. Like I said at the beginning of the blog, I've tried to steer clear from gossip and bonding. Yet, I still feel like there were times that she was on the black list.

Today, of all days (if you're the superstitious type), is the day my "friend" was Black Listed.

She is leaving with dignity and I praise her for working all day, completing as much as she could, even though she knew it was her last day.

I wish her luck. I wish her joy. I wish her peace. I wish her a good job where people treat her with dignity and respect.

(How's that for a "fun" blog?! *goes back to the drawing board*)

#toomuchnotenough

2012-01-12T08:23:00.000-08:00

This blog isn't fun anymore is it? It's become rather heavy and serious. C'mon, you can be honest.

It's b(L)ogged down by psychology psycho-babbleble, my life blah-ness, church stuff. (You should see the naughty I have in draft form! #storyofmylife)

It isn't fun with words, great sports thoughts (ahem), light and silly pop-culture hoop-lah. No more fantasizing with "Trust Fund Baby", or even sexy things.

What's happened to me?

I know what's happened.... *keeps them secret*

But it's time to break out! It's time to shed the heavy and be light. It's time to step out of the dark and into the light.

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You go first.

hahaha!

Okay, fah realz.... Fun stuff coming soon. Who knows? I might even move over to Wordpress!

#tease

And yes, that's right, I type in twitter-ese sometimes now. Get used to it.

My The Twittah Haikus

2012-01-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

I spend A LOT of time on The Twittah (see side panel of thurr somewhurr~~>).

You see, on The Twittah, it's fast and easy. For the A.D.D. individual, it's perfect. If you're not A.D.D. before being on The Twittah, you'll be come A.D.D. by being there.

Also on The Twittah, there are communities of people with vast talents and passions. One can find *everything* there from church-related content, recipe sharing, political advocacy, word games, business promotion, sports scores, community events, naughtiness (and I don't mean merely flirting), etc. It can be quite chatroom-ish. Live tweeting during sporting events is fun. It's better than live blogging -- I would imagine. I remember Dan from [Redacted] would try to live blog The Bachelor and I never got that concept until I joined The Twittah.

Me? I've found a group of people who enjoy sports and The Ticket. I've found a handful of poets, writers and photographers that put up great stuff. Maybe sometime I'll blog about my favorite creative The Twittah accounts.....

In my The Twittah activities, I've really tapped into the poetic and photographic parts, and those parts have, in turn, inspired growth in my own poetry and photography. I use tumblr to feature some of my photographs, but others go straight to TwitPic or yfrog.

There's this whole underbelly of The Twittah that I don't fully understand but I fully intend to someday (right when it becomes archaic...?). I don't know if it's a bot or what, but when I tweet a haiku and hashtag it (#haiku), some force of space copies my haiku from The Twittah and posts it here.

The website is called Poeet. I can only imagine that it's a combination of poet + tweet. *waits for the Nobel Peace Prize in Brilliance*

I have mixed feelings about this phenomenon, but the majority of me thinks it's pretty cool. So...enjoy my haikus however you are able to see them. If it's the CIA, though, I'm creeped out.

~Whoosh!

Did I Mention.....

2012-01-01T09:14:00.000-08:00

.....27 shopping days left till my birthday!! GET BUSY, PEOPLE!

Approaching 41

Oh, and happy new year.

Music Minute: Glitter In The Air ~ P!nk

2011-12-29T10:25:00.000-08:00

Accidentally came across this song today.....loved it. Had to share it. Weird how music speaks to me....

~

~

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don't care?
It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar

~

x

The Human Condition

2011-12-28T12:21:00.000-08:00

"Every day I make an effort to go towards what I don't understand"

~ Yo Yo Ma ~

My friend, Sunday Jeans, posted that as her Facebook status today. I read it and thought, "Yep, that's me."

That's also Sunday. We're like peanut butter and chocolate that way. I love that Sunday 'gets' me in a special way. She and I are a lot alike, as we have extremely similar upbringings -- facets about our childhood, specifically our formative years, that we struggle with in adulthood. We also tend to use academics to help us with our emotions and the emotions of others. We tend to cope with emotions in a clinical manner.

I am a psychology major, though I cannot list the great psychological minds of history. I cannot recite to you theories and psychologists if you paid me a million dollars. I know who you know: Freud, Piaget, Pavlov. I know bits and pieces, enough to sound intelligent and carry a conversation at a dinner party. I know enough to influence the way I parent sometimes. I know enough, but always willing to learn more. What I know isn't absolute. It is moveable. I can be -- and have been on PLENTY of occasions -- wrong.

To tell someone I study psychology is risky. In terms of interpersonal/intimate relationships I'm told, "don't give me that psychobabble", "you're doing reverse psychology on me", "quit playing psychologist" or "you're playing mind games with me". It also is amazing to walk through life with this particular interest because it lends itself to the deepest depths and richest, limitless value in life, people, relationships: "someone finally understands", "I never thought of it like that", "I miss your 'unconditional'", "I can't tell anyone else this...". Frequent words spoken to me by friends and aquaintances: "evaluate me", "tell me what you see in me", "can you tell me what my issues are?". All compliments for sure, and for which I gratefully accept. That deep depth and life richness helps me endure the harshness of the other.

Psychology as a study, taken as a whole, is tricky soft science. The Powers That Be and Society At Large, tries to "universalize" the human condition, meaning, compartmentalize or categorize in order to make predictions. It's a science that bleeds into all other sciences, except maybe the hard sciences. The hard sciences, though, even have a faction of studies where psychology and physics meet -- you know, "if you set your mind to it, you can change it" and that process of actual thought is measurable because brain waves are physical. (I don't get it either.....*laughing*)

Telling someone I'm a student of psychology means that person is on sentry. Guard goes up in a unique way. It isn't like the guard one posts when meeting new people at a party, or early dating life, or in I-am-only-here-by-force guard. No. It's different. There's this conscious wonder that I can SEE. S/He wonders how I'm assessing, evaluating, studying, measuring. Being able to feel this tension makes me sad. It is never my intention to make you feel invaded. Rest assured, I don't do any of that. I am like you -- I make the same judgements on first impressions or look at situations and filter information. I'm not interested in playing head games with anyone. I've been on that side of the relationship and I've been damaged.

More personally, being in a relationship with me can be very easy or very complicated -- so I'm told. I doubt this is unusual for any of us, truthfully. You've probably heard that about yourself and said it about someone else. The fact of the matter is, we all cross wires. In intimate relationships, especially, I am told I'm "clinical" or "academic" when dealing with emotional issues. I suppose there's a truth to that statement, and it would be fair to say that it's a defense or coping mechanism of sorts. Because I believe in becoming a better person each day, I do expect you to do it too. But even I need a break from progression, as do you. Being still is needed.

I have no plans to ever become a psychologist at any level, which explains why my retention of rote facts about psychology is poor. The main reason I became interested in the study of human behavior is because I want to understand my own suffering. I want to understand my own behavior(s). I want to be able to understand others similarly. I want to progress as a person. Why? So I could love better, and be loved better.

What I extrapolate from studying psychology is simply, the human condition, more specifically YOUR humanness as it unfolds in the experience of our relationship, and MY humanness as it unfolds in the experience of our relationship.

Sure, I throw out words like "validated", "formative years", "co-dependent", "addictive", "family of origin". I also use words like "I love you" to almost every one. I use "I understand", "I can accept that", "I want to understand", "help me understand", "thank you", "you're amazing" and many, many bolstering words. I have grown in my ability to love others. I've grown in my ability to be loved. I've grown in the self-love aspect of my being, as well. Of COURSE I still struggle with all of these things daily. I've certainly had my inner and outer tantrums about not being given a 40th birthday party, missing out on concerts or social events because of xyz, wishing I was somewhere else or with someone else. I still daydream about single life, travelling abroad, wanting MORE out of my life. Even though I feel unsettled or unhappy, but I continue to find hope and I continue to place faith in growth. I look to forgive and seek forgiveness. I look for worth and need to feel worthy. I used to think of that as a weakness, and sometimes I still do. But it isn't. Everyone needs to feel like they matter.

In the end, isn't about the people? Isn't our life about who we touch and how we are touched by others? Isn't our precious time on earth meant to be to reconcile one another? There's no entitlement, no promise of pure joy and happiness. But what we have are the gifts of each other and the gifts within ourselves to offer, selflessly.

So, I offer a lifetime of apologies for the times I've ever made you feel judged, unaccepted, rejected, less than. I'm doing the best I can. It's not any better than you are. It's not any worse. I am just me -- just Jackie, and I love you.

Happy Christmas

2011-12-26T20:59:00.000-08:00

I was ahead this year.....till I became behind.

Seriously, how does it happen?

I really don't feel happy this time of year. I'm sad that I feel unhappy about it. Yeah, THAT snowball (pun?).

I try to focus on the reason Christmas even exists: Christ.

I receive joy in events such as Boa singing in the choir, the home-made ornaments, the tree shopping.

I do not enjoy the pressure of gifts -- receiving and giving. I feel unorganized and therefore don't get packages in the mail on time, nor do I plan enough ahead to let the internet handle the mailing. I so long for the motivation and money to line up so that I can send gifts from the interwebs. Ultimately, I'd like the gift exchanging to end altogether. *perfect world* I find it ridiculous to feel pressure to shop for teachers (school, church, etc.), co-workers, the mail man, the crossing guard, and so on and so on and so on.....

I tried harder this year to change my attitude. For a while, I even had Christmas Spirit!

I have to try harder to shed the anxiety about all those pressures and focus on the birth of a tender baby. The rest will fall into place.

So, in spite of my blue Christmas blog, just know that I am thankful for you wherever you are, whomever you are. And, in spite of my blue Christmas blog, I am taking moments here and there and settling down long enough to smile knowing Jesus is here.

Divinity weds humanity.

Happy Christmas.

Amen.

Neruda: The Fickle One

2011-12-12T14:55:00.000-08:00

THE FICKLE ONE

~

My eyes went away from me

following a dark girl who went by.

She was made of black mother-of-pearl,

made of dark-purple grapes,

and she lashed my blood

with her tail of fire.

After them all

I go.

A pale blonde went by

like a golden plant

swaying her gifts.

And my mouth went

like a wave

discharging on her breast

lightningbolts of blood.

After them all

I go.

But to you, without my moving,

without seeing you, distant you,

go my blood and my kisses,

my dark one and my fair one,

my tall one and my little one,

my broad one and my slender one,

my ugly one, my beauty,

made of all the gold

and of all the silver,

made of all the wheat

and of all the earth,

made of all the water

of the sea waves,

made for my arms,

made for my kisses,

made for my soul.

Offerings of Compassion

2011-12-11T22:06:00.000-08:00

This photo was taken at the State Fair of Texas when My Little One was three. We were sitting inside the building where the Quilts & other arts and crafts are on prized display. The Texas sun bore it's heavy beams on our delicate faces, so we decided to escape it a while. Ice cream seemed the perfect invitation to accept, so inside a building we ducked.

Her curly locks had been pink-hair-sprayed & were drenched in sweat! My face was hotred. We should've been miserable, yet we were laughing!

Look how happy my sweetsweet is!! This picture makes me giggle and laugh and melt and ... well, just everything gooey and good.

The picture was tucked away in a pile of pictures I had out to sort and put in an album. There are stacks of pictures. The point is, this photo wasn't out in plain sight. It was buried in a sea of other photos. Add to the mix that the sea is now contained in a closet because it was relocated to a room that we recently converted into an office-type room.

See that sand dollar? The sand dollar is her own painted artwork. She painted it over the summer at a little clayhouse business near our home. I'm not sure where it was before it was offered to me as captured in the photo above, but I know she's been very fond of it and plays with it from time to time.

My Little One is such a sensitive, tender soul with a heart that is so tuned into mine it's scary (and I wouldn't trade it for the world!).

Several months ago, I was feeling overwhelmed, and this particular day, I couldn't hold myself together any longer. My Husband and I had closed our bedroom door and I was venting about feeling inadequate. I wasn't yelling in anger; rather, I was releasing in a very emotional way -- might even call it an unravelling. This was a pretty unusual event because I don't typically unravel around My Family. This day, I did; there was no stopping it.

I was crying the kind of cry where I get all boogery and practically hyperventillate. The kind where I enter a zone of some sort and don't really have control of what I'm saying. The kind of cry where I experience a migraine almost immediately after the tears dry.

A brief time passes and I'm calmer, feeling better. I opened the bedroom door to brave the world again. On the floor, right at the threshold, before I could even take my first step, was the photo and sand dollar, just as it's pictured above. Right at my bare feet was this abundant love. I look down the hallway and she peeks out of a room with worried eyes, seeking answers, seeking returned love. In a moment of a moment of time, we had an unspoken love flow between us and I felt so validated and adequate. She cautiously approaches me where my arms were already open, awaiting to embrace her whole being. And so, she entered, I lifted her up and hugged her to near-suffocation. We exchanged words of assurance and all was right in the world again....

What an incredibly insighful gesture by a five year old. What an amazing offering of compassion.

I am a blessed woman -- beyond measure -- beyond my worth. And I am ever, EVER thankful.

The Legend of the Sand Dollar

Another One Without You

2011-11-27T20:21:00.001-08:00

Today's My Dad's birthday.

I cried at church -- like I usually do.

While I knelt in prayer, reflecting on him, tears streaming warmth down my cold cheeks, the same smiling-from-the-white-light vision I had the day he died reappeared to me today.

I smiled.

He's well.

I quit crying.

+

Love you, Daddy. Still. Always.

~Juliette

Thanksgiving Dedication to My Mom

2011-11-24T06:07:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I came home to a swept floor, a fried plant tended back to health, a neat and presentable daughter's room.

Before that, she said yes to watching my kids all day so My Husband and I could work.

Before that, she said yes to watching a sick kid, herself in a constant immunocompromised state of health.

Before that, she's made meal after meal for My Family, fed My Kids whenever there's a time crunch between getting home from work and zipping to extracurricular activities. She's even taken them to the extracurricular activity, and picked them up.

She's been understandably upset when our schedules get crossed.

Me, My Brother, My Father and Mother ~ late 1971

She buys slurpees, gluten-free pasta, black licorice, sunflower seeds -- all for us.

She has given My Family a lot of her love, energy, time and today, I want to specially honor My Mom. I'm endlessly grateful to have her in my life, and I'm glad my kids have a grandmother in her. My mom grew up with no mother, didn't know her grandparents. She's survived a long, hard life and overcome a lot of challenges.

I love her more each day.

Thanks, Mom, for making my life easier. And thanks for all you do for me and My Family.

What's one of your earliest memories?

2011-11-23T09:38:00.001-08:00

Being an Army brat, I have very few memories of my childhood at all, but one thing I remember vividly is from when my family lived on Oahu, Hawaii.

I was in elementary school, 3rd-5th, in Hawaii. One year, the whole grade saved newspapers and aluminum cans to earn money to pay for a trip to the Big Island (also named Hawaii, like the state). That trip was a week-long enrichment trip where we learned, among other things, Hawaiian history.

I got to walk across the entire Kilauea Crater, dormant at that time. The sulphur smell is still with me to this day. I also trekked on a black sand beach, saw where royalty lived, learned songs in the Hawaiian language, saw totem poles, danced the hula, and so many other experiences! By far, this memory is my favorite, and honestly, probably my earliest.

I have heard stories and seen pictures of times prior to the Hawaii post, but I cannot say I *remember* them. My "memories" are really re-told stories.

y'know...what you're wondering about. Duh.

Girl Panic!

2011-11-22T12:44:00.000-08:00

Remember Cindy Crawford (still my all time favorite!)?

Remember Naomi Campbell?

Remember Duran Duran?

Remember?

Indulge in the eye candy of "Girl Panic!"

(such a clever twist!)

Legacy

2011-11-20T17:20:00.001-08:00

He sat there, alone

'Neath the tree for shade

Pondering the cold stone

Atop where she laid.

A couple weeks ago, I drove to the doctor's office. Along the route, there's a large cemetary. Some plots skirt the outer perimeter of the property along a very busy street -- my route. As I sped by, I quick glimpse of this haunting, lasting, and - as I see it - sweet, image has not left me.

I immediately wrote this little poem.

I hope I have a visitor or two some day bring a folding chair and sit at my grave. I pray I have such a legacy.

11/11/11

2011-11-11T23:01:00.000-08:00

In the eleventh month....
On the eleventh day
On the eleventh hour

....give thanks.....

Thank you, veterans!

Favorite Words: KEF

2011-11-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

Per dictionary dot com:

kef: a state of drowsy contentment

Language never fails to make me smile. I am absolutely in love with the fact that a word exists in the English language to describe so succinctly one of my favorite states of being.

BONUS: I will use this word on Words With Friends. If played right, it can be a decent scorer.

~Whoosh!

Boa's Coming of Age: Shaving Legs

2011-11-07T09:46:00.000-08:00

About two weeks ago, it was Red Ribbon Week in the school district where I live. Each day of the week, there was a theme. One of those days was "dress up like the profession you want to be when you grow up". My Eldest chose college professor, teaching a very specialized subject of Cherokee Indian language.

She wore a short-sleeved, dark gray sweater-dress that had a cowl neck. Around her waist was a thick elastic black belt, and she wore some mary-jane style shoes.

Later that night, I was informed that some kids "mentioned" to her that she has hairy legs. She was embarrassed. She was embarrassed enough to prompt her to ask me to teach her how to shave her legs.

Heaven help me (and you!), My Eldest - which I'll refer to as Boa on occasion - is coming of age. She's trekking into that fabulously maddening journey into puberty. Someone please make it stop!! *sob*

This morning, I taught Boa how to shave her legs.

*cringe*

She can't be ready for this! Right? Hell...*I* am not ready for this!!

Boa & I sat on the edge of the tub, just us "women", accompanied by a pink disposable razor, a can of shaving cream, a running faucet, a towel and our brave faces.

I've never taught anyone to shave before. I didn't think of the bony ankles, the curves of the joint areas. Therefore, I didn't warn her about the difficulty of shaving around the outer ankle bone.

"Have you ever nicked yourself while shaving, Mommy?" (I love that she called me 'mommy'!! A sign of her childhood still with me -- that little girl sitting next to me!)

"Yep. I have. Lots. You will, too."

And then it happened.

In an instant, I see her beautiful light brown eyes fill with fear, pain, tears as she experienced her first nick -- on the ankle bone.

I felt awful!

She fought tears and immediately said, "I'm never shaving there!! Never, evaaarrrrrr!"

Furry ankles it will be.

College Drop Out: Failings in Motherhood?

2011-11-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure I can experience a worse shame or failure. I'm certainly not inviting the chance to do either or both of those!! I'm simply saying, dropping out of school with my kids in tow is pretty much the lowest of the lows in motherhood for me.

What did my actions teach them? What message did they get from me making the choice to drop my ONE AND ONLY class?

I can only hope they saw a woman who was trying to "do it all", surrender and be humble. I can only hope they saw their mom being in the disposition of accepting that she cannot, indeed, do it all.

My fear is that they learned that it's acceptable to dismiss education. My anxiety is they learned that their mama is a failure.

Ouch.

Very. Ouch.

Rationally, I know I made the right choice. I feel you reassuring me that "it's not that important", "you'll get back there someday", "you made the right choice", "your kids will understand", etc. My emotions, however, are ruling this aspect of my life and will for a while.

53

2011-10-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

Happy Another Year 'Round The Sun to my dream luvah, Sighhhhhmon.

And for Simon's birthday, the Texas Rangers will deliver a World Series Championship. Just sayin'.

Luvz ya, Si! Le Smooch!

~Whoosh

Tonight's The Night

2011-10-27T07:10:00.000-07:00

Texas Rangers -- Bring home the championship!

(P.S. Crushin' HARD on Michael Young. Why did I not get into baseball sooner?!)

Back to Beethoven

2011-10-03T12:49:00.001-07:00

Fits my insides well these days.....

Favorite Words: Synechdoche

2011-09-28T15:14:00.000-07:00

"Simultaneous understanding"

See the etymology here.

It's more commonly known in literary circles as a means of describing something using as part to refer to a whole.

Now, use your head and fix your eyes on the prize!

~Whoosh!

Stuck

2011-09-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

so many words inked

faltering, confused, broken

make sense to me

Eight-iversary

2011-08-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

Eight is my absolute favorite number.

Eight is the number of years My Husband and I have been married.

Happy Eight-iversary, Love!

~IC2LUT~

Favorite Words: Cenacle

2011-08-16T07:31:00.001-07:00

A word was spoken at the Latin Mass I attended the other day: cenacle.

I immediately wrote it in my notes with a reminder to look up its meaning.

According to dictionary dot com:

— n

1. a supper room, esp one on an upper floor

2. ( capital ) the room in which the Last Supper took place

I love learning new words!
~Whoosh (a.k.a. Word Nerd)

Farewell Wishes

2011-08-14T22:52:00.000-07:00

In May, 2009, a culmination my three years of teaching a group of fine young men and women was fruitfully celebrated at the Sacrament of Confirmation. I'm realizing that they're graduating high school and heading off to college, the military, to LIFE!

My heart kind of sinks.

My heart very much sings!

I wish all of you the best. Please know that I'll be praying for you, I'm here if you need me.

My prayer for you:

Holy Father,

Please protect MY KIDS -- those amazing kids who taught me more than I taught them! I am ever grateful that their paths and my path crossed each other & we were able to share precious time together. I pray that I served you well as a vessel, speaking your word, doing your will, resulting in a a life-long impression on their heart.

May they feel your comforting hand in times of trial, feel the licks of your flames during periods of growth, and through it all, name the joy and the pain "God's love", and offer gratitude for it.

Please call them to prayer...constant prayer...constant relationship with you. Pray, pray, pray, even when it seems like it's uncomfortable. Jesus, I know you will tap them on their shoulder, smile and offer love. MY KIDS: keep in mind that Christ is your friend! The words he most often spoke: Do not be afraid.

Furthermore, Father, protect them. Empower them mightily to be soldiers of faith. Grant them confidence in themselves through you to avoid peer pressure, careless judgment, impulsive decisions, anger-fueled actions, inaction as a result of despondency.

In the times they stray from The Path, let the stir of you remain in the cobwebs and depths, for that's The Voice - YOUR Voice, and they WILL know it! Then they will return to you. When they are off the path, it will be an opportunity for fire, to mold and purify. When MY KIDS are old and gray, may the look back on this time, in good graces with you, and smile, feel joy knowing that His/Her Path was intended and chosen by you all along.

Call them to Reconciliation. Grant them families and relationship to nurture their spirit and offer it selfless as Christ does.

Keep their minds and hearts always radically open, questioning, questioning, questioning in order that they are reassured, re-grounded, re-affirmed in their faith walk with you.

Father, I'm blessed to have taught them. I'm blessed to have been their student. I couldn't be more proud of each and every one of them, no matter where they are led. Thought my heart breaks and aches, it's full of joy, swollen with love. Thank you.

Always and Forever in humility,
Jackie

Church World Tour ~ Mater Dei Catholic Church ~ Irving, Texas

2011-08-14T07:28:00.000-07:00

"Angelus domini nuntiavit Mariae; et concepit de Spiritu Sancto, et verbim caro factum est."

The Mass was celebrated in Latin, save the homily. A red-covered paperback book is provided so you can follow along and participate. Also, English translation is in a side column. (Thank you!).

It was High Mass, so we were sprinkled with holy water at the beginning, we inhaled incense and heard chant.

The priest kept his back to the parish as he recited Latin while consecrating the Host.

To receive Communion, you have to kneel at the kneelers at the front of the church. The Altar Server held a brass plate under your chin as you received the host.

The altar and ceiling were adorned in golden Fleurs de Lis, and a scrolled letter M.

Et concepit de Spiritu Sancto

The Last Supper carved in the base of the Altar.

Mantillas for modesty.

Shrines of Mary and Joseph flanked the Altar.

The church was simple, elegant; the mood extremely reverent. It felt formal, and I felt a bit of a misfit. For one reason, I don't know Latin (yet), and another, I felt ill-prepared and ill-equpped. Rationally, I shouldn't have felt embarrassed by the fact that My Girls and I were not wearing mantillas, yet, I couldn't escape that feeling. Also, they all wore long skirts - very puritan-esque. I, of course, was in pants. My Eldest wore a skirt and My Little One wore a dress. The members of the church weren't shooting us judgmental looks and no one told us we were inappropriate, yet, I still felt so out-of-place!

Though I didn't get a photo of if, a balcony is at the back of the church. The choir sung from the balcony.

After Mass was over, The Girls had plenty to say about the experience.

Other random observations:

The priest pronounced both letters t in such words like "written" (instead of 'swallowing' them lazily like most people do). This made me very happy. :)
The phrase "Holy Ghost" instead of "Holy Spirit" was spoken.
Having just completed a psychology class, I was particularly tickled to hear the phrase "Tabula Rasa" spoken in the homily. It was in the context of the Sacrament of Baptism as well as the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
During the.whole.entire.Mass, one particular Altar Server - who couldn't have been more than 14 years old - stood with prayerfully folded hands.
Randomly, My Little One announced that she wants to be cremated upon her death.

The homily was centered around temptation. The celebrant discussed how the acts of liberating our soul from Original Sin with Baptism was foretold in the Old Testament by Moses splitting the Red Sea (freeing slaves, liberating Israelites). Then he begged these question: What do we need? His answers: Baptism, Manna. What can we expect? Answers: trials & tribulations, temptation, consequences. What can we avoid? False peace. The priest stated 'even if one is fully devoted, he will still have temptation and trials because he is living in the militant church. Collectively, we are soldiers for the Glory of God. We we overcome, we uphold that Glory, vanquish sin, grow closer to the Kingdom. Trials are good for us.' He also reminded the flock (highlighting the words of St. Augustine) to keep God first and everything else subordinate to God. Tranquility will be ours and we will remain in a state of grace by keeping God first. Peace cannot be lost if God is at the top of the order. (Easier said than done, huh?! Oy!)

Although there's truth and value to using it at times, I'm not a fan of the militant usage of words, images for witnessing and evangelizing. My aversion to using such verbiage and means of living/growing my faith is attributable to my non-confrontational, peace-loving spirit (it must be a false peace, huh?). I don't do well with disharmony or 'fighting'. I'm equally avoidant of using The Devil in similar ways ("the devil is working on you", "the devil made me do it", "satan is at work", etc.). That being said, I didn't like most of the homily. This has to be one of the few times ever I left a homily not feeing uplifted. However, I had a very academic experience by hearing how Old Testament and New Testament "stories" tie together (i.e. parting of the Red Sea by Moses = liberation of Original Sin, worshipping of false idols = us thinking our turmoil will settle, Mary = the Arc of the Covenant).

Overall, this was an extremely solemn experience. I'd go back, but I don't think I could be a regular there without being more familiar with Latin. I felt pretty removed from the body of Christ, which is counter to what the Church teaches about attending Mass. It wasn't even rote since I'm not familiar with the language. However, I have immense respect for what transpired! The one consolation I had that helped me stay tied to my faith is knowing that world-wide, that day, no matter the language, we were all united by the same readings and love.

"Angel of the Lord declared unto Mary, and she conceived of the Holy Spirit, and the word was made flesh"

Happy Duran Duran Appreciation Day!

2011-08-10T09:39:00.000-07:00

For fun:

Duran Duran's Official Site about DDAD

Facebook Event about DDAD

Guess Where I've Been..... VACATION!

2011-08-06T15:24:00.000-07:00

Beaver Dam - Beaver Lake, Arkansas

More to come....stay tuned!

Miss you!

Music Minute: Tracy Chapman

2011-07-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

I recently updated my Nano with music. I had forgotten about a few songs, one of them being "At This Point In My Life" by Tracy Champan.

I'm having a bit of a hard day today, and lately, I've not slept well. I'm glad the day is just about over. Anyway, this song came on while I was driving home today and it just resounded with me. It rippled deep into my soul and back out of my being.

Done so many things wrong I don't know if I can do right

Oh I, Oh I've

Done so many things wrong I don't know if I can do right

+

At this point in my life

I've done so many things wrong I don't know if I can do right

If you put your trust in me I hope I won't let you down

If you give me a chance I'll try

You see it's been a hard road the road I'm traveling on

And if I take your hand I might lead you down the path to ruin

I've had a hard life I'm just saying it so you'll understand

That right now, right now, I'm doing the best I can

At this point in my life

At this point in my life

+

Although I've mostly walked in the shadows

I'm still searching for the light

Won't you put your faith in me

We both know that's what matters

If you give me a chance I'll try

You see I've been climbing stairs but mostly stumbling down

I've been reaching high always losing ground

You see I've been reaching high but always losing ground

You see I've conquered hills but I still have mountains to climb

And right now right now I'm doing the best I can

At this point in my life

+

Before we take a step

Before we walk down that path

Before I make any promises

Before you have regrets

Before we talk commitment

Let me tell you of my past

All I've seen and all I've done

The things I'd like to forget

At this point in my life

+

At this point in my life

I'd like to live as if only love mattered

As if redemption was in sight

As if the search to live honestly

Is all that anyone needs

No matter if you find it

+

You see when I've touched the sky

The earth's gravity has pulled me down

But now I've reconciled that in this world

Birds and angels get the wings to fly

If you can believe in this heart of mine

If you can give it a try

Then I'll reach inside and find and give you

All the sweetness that I have

At this point in my life

At this point in my life

~

Hoping to get a little sleep tonight, and a brighter tomorrow.

~ Love ~

Two Decades Later....

2011-07-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

Birthday Boy

....and I haven't stopped loving him.

I love him more today than ever.

His smile makes me smile....

National Kissing Day -- TODAY!

2011-07-06T16:07:00.000-07:00

SssssMACK!

July 6th is National Kissing Day.

Supposedly it is only in the UK, but according to Wiki, it's an international event now.

Who am I to refuse or deny a kissing act?

Go forth to give and receive kisses!

Butterfly

French

Blown

Eskimo

Upside-down

European Cheek to Cheek

Stolen

Slobbery

Lizard (*laughing*)

Angel

And here's a little something from me.... (click~~>) MUAH!

Happy Birthday, America!

2011-07-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

235...and going strong!

Church "World" Tour: Christ The King ~ University Park

2011-07-03T22:39:00.001-07:00

What a stunning piece of carved architecture this church has! Also, the sanctuary is nothing short of magnificent! GORGEOUS church! Christ The King in University Park (CTK) tickled many parts of my visual fancy.

As you can see by my picture on the right, taken at the main entrance, one feels verrrrry small immediately! My camera equipment is incomplete for I could not fit the entirety of this entrance in my frame.

The previous two weeks, before each Mass, a lector would invite the congregation to reach over and greet our neighbor. I have to admit, I really do love this idea and practice, and wish my home parish did this! At CTK, there was no greeting before Mass, so, in a way, it was "business as usual".

The homily centered around the Virtue of Humility, which was translated and expounded upon as the knowledge of self. It was quite a delightful homily about something that's difficult to be and do. I was reminded of how easy it is to get wrapped up in the physical world, and how I'm tempted to use the physical temptations of this world to elevate myself or validate myself in unhealthy or mis-guided ways. As a mother, the them of teaching my daughters to dress and act modestly, was re-affirmed. I have not heard a homily like this that I can recall (and if I have, clearly the message wasn't received!).

There was no choir, only a cantor and a small group of folks playing traditional instruments. There was a song sung, "O Breathe On Me, O Breath of God", where the second verse echoed the homily beautifully (the whole song did but the second verse was the home-run!):

Breathe on me, Breath of God, 
until my heart is pure, 
until with thee I will one will, 
to do and to endure.


Veronica Wipes The Face of Jesus at CTK


Stained Glass Doors Greeting A Parishoner at CTK


Mary Shrine at CTK


All Kings Shall Adore Him..... (entrance CTK)

...Nations Shall Serve Him (entrance CTK)

Next week:  St. Ann's in Coppell!

~Whoosh

Mid Life Crisis? Justin Bieber Fever -- For A Few Days At Least

2011-07-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

Um...

Don't hate me.

Just hold me.

Baby, baby, baby ohhhhh, baby, baby, baby....

Don't Waste My Time, Time, Time, Time!

Tonight, for "family movie night", The Family gathered on the L-train to pick a movie. I suggested "Never Say Never", you know, the Justin Bieber movie. I change the channel to it, and My Husband exits the room, "I don't wanna watch no Justin Bieber movie".

So much for the "Family" in "Family Movie Night". *laughing* But -- I get it. He's a guy. The rest of the humans in this house are of the female type.

The three of us girls sit here and watch Beebs and his lil life story -- a lot of life in a short amount of time, I must say!

I'm impressed with how talented he is, and that he's basically a grass-roots story of success. The songs I've heard have positive messages. The shows are not sexual in nature, nor does he cuss and act like an arrogant attitudinal teenager. There were a couple of running themes in the movie that made him more endearing. For example, there's prayer, and he has, what seem to be, caring and savvy adults around him that are protecting him & allowing him to be a kid. Usher, of all people, brought Beebs into the limelight & takes care of him. Let's hope it all stays on the good side of the world. *fingers crossed*

Favorite movie quotes:

~ This tastes like dinosaur pee.

~ The little things go far.

I recently saw New Kids On The Block & Back Street Boys (sans the delicious Kevin Richardson), and my teenagejackie is in full hormone rage as a result of watching those guys. When I watch Never Say Never, I go back to my Duran Duran giddyjackie days. I can see why Justin Bieber has tons of screaming girls around him! That hair flip alone...supercute. It helps, too, that he makes that heart with his hands.....(that I've made with my own hands a time or seven)....

I highly recommend the movie. You better Bieleb your ass, I'll take My Girls to his concert if I'm able, and yes, I *will* be singing the songs because I'm about to go download a ton of them!

One more thing, I started following him on Twitter -- just for a few days -- to see if he's worth my time. ;P

~Whoosh

P.S. The purple colored font is in honor of Beebs & his fave color....

NKOTBSB in Dallas

2011-06-27T16:07:00.000-07:00

I have to giggle....

It's no secret that I'm a HUGE Duran Duran fan. But boy bands? Never got into them -- at all! I remember a handful of songs by New Kids On The Block and Back Street Boys, but by no means do I remember the words or the names of the songs!

My angelic friend asked me to attend the NKOTBSB concert with her (I'm very annoyed by the 'shared' B.). She was *beside* herself with giddiness when she received tickets to the show as a gift! I accepted with the condition that if she found a friend who is a BIGGER fan than I am, she should take that friend instead. It wasn't because I didn't want to go. Certainly I want to spend time with her, so that wasn't the reason either! I just know how passionate I feel about Duran Duran, and how exhilarating it is to have a friend with you who enjoys the squealing and the dancing and the uninhibited stupidness that is on display when attending a concert of a favorite band. However, I was the blessed cohort in crime & I gladly stepped up to the plate!

The boys didn't disappoint -- not a one of them. They all posed. They all bared their abs. They all sported Mavs jerseys. They all danced. They all sang to ONLY ME! They sang songs I didn't know belonged to them, and they sang them with passion, energy and fun!

Sadly, one Back Street Boys boy was missing: Kevin Richardson. He's the one I liked best. In his absence, I'll suffer through the yummygoodness of Donnie Wahlberg. Torture!

I love how fun my life is these days!

~Whoosh

Church "World" Tour: St. Elizabeth Ann Seton (SEAS) ~ Plano

2011-06-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

Today is the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body & Blood of Christ (also known as the Solemnity of Corpus Christi), which has a dual intent of focusing on the Eucharist and the Church (Body of Christ), primarily the Eucharist.

Week Three of the Church "World" Tour, My Family attended the 11:00 a.m. Mass at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Plano (a.k.a. SEAS). (I have since learned there is another SEAS in Keller. Might have to add it to our list.)

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton is the first American-born citizen to be canonized by the Church. Cool, huh?

The Gospel reading of this day is the crux of the Catholic faith. It's the centerpiece of why Catholics believe in the trans-substantiation, as well as why we even attend church -- to receive the actual body and blood of Christ. The Gospel reference is in John 6:51-58. Our non-Catholic bretheren have a hard time with the idea that Catholics believe this & practice it; the most common criticism being "doesn't that make you a cannibal?". There's is another counterpoint of "we are called to take it in *remembrance* of Christ". Fair enough words. I'm not here to witness, but rather, to state how The Church believes.

I mention it merely because there are times in the homily that relates to the day of the liturgical year. And, in this case, Christ gave us the Ultimate Love by dying for us (Corpus Christi). So, today's homily at SEAS was focused on just that -- LOVE.

It happened to be Father's last week at SEAS, as he's been re-assigned by the Diocese to St. Ann's in Coppell (also on our list!). He leaves a parish of approximately 5-6K families to go to a parish of approximately 8K families. He gave a lovely farewell homily, speaking about how much he has loved each person in that flock, though he did not know them all by name. He didn't need to.

Father further conveyed this:

What we want most is to love and be loved.

Love doesn't just bring pure joy; it brings pain, too -- and maybe this is why Jesus did what he did for us.

If you don't already know this about me yet, know this: one of my three life mottos is: pain is growth.

Father's homily echoed this to some degree, I believe. I was stirred by the notion of love bring the extremes of pure joy and raw pain. Such truth.

Wishing Father much love, luck and happiness on his new adventure!

~Whoosh!

Church "World" Tour: All Saints Catholic Church ~ Dallas

2011-06-19T13:56:00.000-07:00

Firstly, happy father's day to all you men out there that are fathers and father figures to include coaches, uncles, brothers, male teachers, and so forth. A special father's day holla to all priests, deacons, men of cloth. Most importantly, Happy Father's Day to God the Father, the one who loves all of us infinitely & perfectly.

___

Today is Trinity Sunday a.k.a. The Solemnity of The Most Holy Trinity

This day falls every year the week after Pentecost. Unlike the other feast days that celebrates an event or person, this one celebrates a reality and doctrine (dogma). To learn more, click here.
___

St. Veronica Icon - All Saints

The second week of my family's Church "World" Tour in which we are visiting different parishes around our fair burg too us to All Saints Catholic Church in Dallas.

Through the ministry of ACTS, My Husband and I have been blessed to meet people from all walks of life, all faiths and non-faiths. Since ACTS is a Catholic organization in origin (started with the Crucillo Movement), the community is largely comprised of Catholics. The retreats that St. Joseph's has hosted have brought Catholics from various parishes (not unlike the retreats hosted by other parishes in the area). One couple in particular, we've befriended, and they attend All Saints. On Saturday evening, I sent a text message asking which Mass they attend because my family had planned to go and would love to coordinate going at the same time. We managed to get lined up and had a great time!

Again, like last week at St. Paul's, this week the congregation was invited to turn to each other and bid one another hello. Gosh I sure do like that gesture!

One of the newly ordained Bishops is assigned to All Saints and celebrated Mass. His homily was lovely in spite of the sadness with which he opened.

The Bishop told us a story of receiving a call from his college-age nephew who had himself just learned of his best friend's suicide. Naturally, The Nephew asked his Uncle, "Will my friend be in Hell?" The Bishop took this opportunity to educate and/or remind the community at large about Church teaching on suicide.

I was especially struck by these words spoken by The Bishop: Love is rational. You cannot love unless you have someone to love. You cannot love unless you yourself are loved.

Over the course of the last several years, I've journeyed into the various ideas, notions, definitions, kinds of "love". There are so many definitions, aren't there? It's confusing to know what love is, how to love, when to love -- and vice versa. Too, it's difficult to know when to let someone love us in his or her way instead of the way we expect. As one grows in maturity and wisdom, we have to learn that love is a choice, and it's conscious (rational AND emotive).

Anyway -- The Bishop's homily hit home for me.

After Mass, My Family and our friends went to Jake's for a good ole fashioned burger. They have two sons, slightly younger than My Girls, but they all got along famously! They even sat at their own table, which they all thought was pretty cool.

___

Father's Day for My Husband included home made gifts from The Girls at their Montessori school. My Little One made a "garden" snake out of a striped neck tie. The tie was filled with perite and sewn closed. Glow-in-the-dark eyes were also sewn on the end, and a pipe cleaner is the tongue. It's meant to go in the garden as a fertilizer, and it'll keep squirrels away (in theory). So, My Husband wrapped it around the Magnolia tree branch in the back yard.

My Eldest made a travel-size checker board using plywood, paint and a sponge. The checker pieces are made of plastic bottle caps. She sewed and decorated a burlap bag in which the checkers can be carried. The burlap bag closes drawstring (pull string?) style. Very cute.

___

Other than that, a fairly laid-back day. Hope you relaxed today, too -- father or not!

~Whoosh!

In Which A Daughter Needs

2011-06-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day, Daddy.

I love you.

In case you were wondering, I still need you.....

Love you forever,

~Jackie

Summer Hair

2011-06-18T23:42:00.000-07:00

I never in a million years would have thought I'd be the kind of mother who would allow this to happen.

BEFORE

If it were not for a "this-is-for-summer-only" condition, and the expertise of my good friend and personal hairstylist R, I would not have allowed it.

BUT....I've let my girls color their hair for the summer. Not just ANY color, mind you. *cringe* They both wanted shades of B L U E!

My Eldest opted for turquoise

My Little One opted for royal blue


AFTER - Not that dramatic, huh?

As If You Needed MORE Reasons.....

2011-06-17T07:23:00.000-07:00

I love ChickFilA!

We've been down this road before, I know.... CrackFilA.

Top picture: their new ketchup packets. It's a beautiful boat of brilliance.

It can be a dipping boat OR a squeeze tube.

Nothing short of genius. The person or person who invented that deserves endless wealth - until something better comes along. But seriously, what could be better?! Oh, actually, I can think of *one* improvement, but it's not a design improvement; it's a food one: eliminate the HCFS!

The bottom picture is their invitation for a Daddy-Daughter event at their locations around the country, one being here in the Dallas area. This is a Father's Day outing. Though My Girls did not go to this with their Daddy, I have much love for an establishment that promotes this kind of family bonding. I could extol a whole social commentary to include my opinion, but I'll spare you. You're welcome.

Long live Chick-Fil-A.

(Just, don't screw up, CFA!)

Peter Gabriel & New Blood Orchestra

2011-06-16T21:11:00.000-07:00


Is that a crucifix or a dagger I see?

Last night, I had the pleasure of attending a concert with KBD. She works for a company that has a suite, and she invited me to attend -- in! the! suite! -- with her. It wasn't just *any* concert (are they ever?!). It was Peter Gabriel and New Blood Orchestra.

I admit to not knowing a lot about Peter Gabriel and his music. I recalled he was in the band, Genesis. Of course, his songs from the 80's I recall are "Sledgehammer", "Big Time" and "In Your Eyes". As a kid, I didn't like "Sledgehammer" but as I've matured, I've grown to appreciate it; same with "Big Time". I have heard the 70's tune, "Solsbury Hill", but didn't know the name of it until last night. But, since I'm all about the people & trying new things, I was happy to accept this invitation and spend some time with one of my best friends!

My heart is going BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

KBD & I thought some band called "New Blood Orchestra" was opening for him. We elected to take our time at dinner at Chili's.

Um...we were wrong. So very, very wrong! Peter Gabriel is touring with a full orchestra, and they accompany him singing his old and new songs. The orchestra is called "New Blood Orchestra". Therefore, the correct billing is "Peter Gabriel and New Blood Orchestra". Having made this very embarrassing error, KBD and I missed the first 15-20 minutes of the show. We girly-giggled our way into our seats & asked what we had missed. Thankfully, we hadn't missed much! I looked up the setlist and found out that he sang a couple songs of which I'd never heard.

The concert was very sensory stimulating. The sound was crisp, clear and moving. The backdrop was visually inviting -- captivating, really. (The photos in this post are my own -- you can see how well he used the sense of vision! My camera doesn't do it justice, honestly, but they do help you get an idea of what I'm talking about at least.)

I was impressed that he did not stay in the spot light. Two women accompanied him on a handful of songs -- lovely voices, a bit haunting at times. One of them, Ane Brun, was especially good. Also impressive was the fact that he collected musician from each of the stops of his tour, so there were included in this symphonic delight, Texas folks!

Upon return from an intermission, an male audience member shouted politely, "How about some 'Shock The Monkey', Peter?"

Peter wittily replied in decline, "I'm trying to give it up, thank you."

Clever.

Just let the Red Rain splash you.

Peter carried on modestly, telling little ditties of how a song came to be, or to whom the song was dedicated. He included stories about his father, the poet Anne Sexton, Kenya, young people in the information age, Afghanistan, etc. Clearly, he's an extremely intelligent and globally-minded individual who is using his talent to move the human race.

The light, the heat - in your eyes - I am complete

I love when musicians take their popular music and re-arrange it. In this case, the movement to orchestral sounds was exquisite and most enjoyable by this little Texas music lover. Mostly, though, when it was all said an done, I was most thankful to have spent time with KBD. :)

Take Dat Wich U! Mavs Are Champs!

2011-06-16T11:02:00.001-07:00

It's a beautiful thing.

I'm happy to be a citizen of Title Town.

Thank you Mavs!

Church "World" Tour: Inception & St. Paul's Catholic Church ~ Richardson

2011-06-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

Today is Pentecost -- the infusion of the Holy Spirit, the completion of The Trinity.

For the last two summers, I've kicked around and occasionally spoken to my family about stepping outside of our home parish and seeing some of the many other Catholic churches in our area.

Summer is a good time for my family to do this because faith formation is on break which means I'm not teaching and the kids aren't in class. We don't, in general, have as many commitments, so -- here we go!

In this area, monastic life exists. For example, at Cistercian in Irving, it's both an Abbey and a school. The 9 a.m. Sunday Mass includes Gregorian Chant. Who doesn't like Gregorian Chant, right? *jots in on the list*

The only Latin Rite church, Mater Dei Catholic Church, is located in Irving. Mass is celebrated entirely in Latin. We'll be visiting this one for sure!

If you're interested in art, religions of the world, history, spirituality, Catholic life, you'll enjoy branching out to some of the churches in your area. If you're from a specific ethnic background and are a practicing Roman Catholic, chances are, there's a parish in the area that celebrates mass in your native language. Look into it!

Here are some resources you might find helpful for your neck of the woods, in and out of Dallas:

Latin Rite churches

Mass times for any church around the world

Dallas Diocese

___

Altar Stained Glass

With that said, today, we ventured to St. Paul Catholic Church in Richardson. St. Paul's is the church where Msgr. Don attended as a youth. (For those of you who have not followed my blog or haven't read much into it, Msgr. Don is the priestly vessel who I give a good amount of credit to for my own baptism [other credit given to My Husband who got me to go to church with him])

My Little One was slightly confused about visiting this church. The songs are sung in different tunes, not the same instrumentation and they were sung a little slower tempo. She turned to us during Mass and asked, "is this even a Catholic church?!". It was a giggle. After Mass, we explained how from parish to parish some things will be different, and some things are going to be the same. It was a good learning experience and definitely reflects something in all of us. I'll let you discern what that means for you. :)

One thing that impressed me about this parish is that before the Liturgy starts, the priest welcomes new members & visitors then invites the congregation to turn to one another, introduce yourself & bid good morning. We don't do this at my home church -- wish we did.
__

I'm going to try to post a little something about each church we attend. Feel free to join the journey. Below is a photo I took at St. Paul's, a gorgeous stained glass art piece of St. Paul that adorns the altar.

An Oasis in Miami: One More Win

2011-06-10T09:59:00.000-07:00

This video was played at last night's Mavs/Heat game in the American Airlines Center. I heard about it on The Ticket and someone posted a link to it, so I went to watch it. I heard it had the legendary likes of Troy Aikman and Mike Modano, two of my favorite sports guys ever. Roger, Emmitt, Warsh, Nolan, Nastia are but a few others Sports Greatnesses featured.

The sportsfan in me cried a sportstear by the end of the montage and I was all tingly.

I BELIEVE!

It's my home town team & I've jumped on the bandwagon. (Oh wait! I'm lying! Dallas isn't my TRUE home town, but it's my adopted home town {miltiary life....if you've been in it in any capacity, you "get" me}.) Further confession: I don't even LIKE to watch pro hoops in general. I am a college hoops fan (DUKE!). So, it's almost shameful and comical that I've latched on to this particular winning-ness. Of course, considering that I jumped on the baseball/Rangers bandwagon last year, is it any surprise?

Anyway, Dallas is now my home town. So, what can I say? Of COURSE I have Dirk Fever (but not that wickedsickness he played through in game four! What a stud!). I have Mavs fever. I have Championship fever! I have it and I will NOT be stopped!

And, oh, it's been such a long, dry (pro) Championship spell~Dallas has a serious Championship Drought going on here in North Texas. Being one game away from THE Trophy is quite the oasis in the desert! The teases of having the Super Bowl, the NBA All Star game and the likes in this area haven't only made this town more insatiable. Greedy? Possibly. Greatness? Youbetchyerass!

Let's hope the Rangers started a wave throughout all Dallas-area pro sports. I'm going to be dreaming of not only Mavs as champs, but hopinguponhope to see the Stars and the Cowboys in that spotlight, too! If not this year, then veryfreakingsoon, and it doesn't have to be limited to "the big four". I'll be rooting for FC Dallas & all pro teams to make Dallas proud(er?)!

Ending on a random/related footnote: Above, I referenced jumping on the Rangers World Series bandwagon. I've never been a baseball fan. But I have to say that since keeping up with the unusual sale & business goings-on of the Rangers last season & following it with at least one eye until the end of their season, I've become a little more baseballfan-ish this season. So, what's to say it won't happen with pro hoops too? Because, after all, can you ever REALLY get TOO MUCH sports?! (Say no!)

GO MAVS!

Red Heads Make Me Smile

2011-06-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

There is a friend I have. We met about five years ago. Her Eldest and My Eldest were in the same Montessori class together. Her Eldest is a boy, and I think to this day, My Eldest still has a crush on Her Eldest. I think Her Eldest has moved on to Other Girls, namely Girls Who Attend His Same School. *laughing*

Anyway, this friend is a gorgeous redhead and I have always been in awe of her. I suspect she'd be embarrassed knowing this information, and if that's the case, so be it! I think she's the cat's meow. I also suspect that this post might be a little creepy sounding. *laughing again*

Since I moved from Dallas Proper to a suburb, we're less geographically desirable. We used to do lots of family things together because we were not far from them, but it's more orchestration now. So, like most married working mothers in the big city, we've relied on the occasional lunch and Facebook (which I abhor now...) to keep in touch with one another.

This Redhead is someone with whom I want to interact more often. I love being around her because she's thought-provoking, honest, very savvy and she makes me laugh! Also, she's from Minnesoota and I love her accent! Also, that red hair!

I could gush about her, but I've creeped her, you and God out plenty by this post. Let me just surmise by saying I'm so thankful for her and her constancy in my life.

xo Redhead!
~moi

Music Minute: Cowboy Junkies

2011-06-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love about music is similar to what I love about the written word: you can like it any time.

I'm late to jump on the bandwagon with this band, Cowboy Junkies. I admit that I can't listen to them 24/7, but while I'm discovering the music, I'm listening to them a lot. I think this will be music that will suit a 'mood'.

Anyway, finally rid of the Duran Duran (for now).

~Whoosh

Hello MAVS Win!

2011-06-02T22:51:00.000-07:00

After an OUTSTANDING game one of Stanley Cup hockey last night, the Dallas Mavericks pull of a heist and actually win game two in Miami.

The second half started and I had a fierce hankering for ice cream. I went to check on a the house of a vacationing friend then wandered to Target to get some ice cream. The whole trip to the store, I had one eye on Twitter (which has become my source of all sports greatness) and one eye on the road. I busied the radio with scanning, in search of the game so I could listen to it. As soon as I arrive at Target, the scan locates the station, and I leave it there, go inside to get my ice cream.

Now, I can't just go in and out of Target for one thing. You know how it is. Yeah, I know you do! Anyway, I'm wandering through the children's books, the graduation cards, the electronics and whatnot. So, of course, my 'quick' trip to Target turns in to the rest of the game!! I was there almost the whole second half of the basketball game!

I'm in line to pay, peeking at The Twittah which informs me that the Mavs WON!

Love it!
La-la-LOVE it!!

So, a six pack of Shiner's seasonal Ruby Redbird, some Klondike bars, and two half gallons of ice cream (one mint chocolate chip, the other Moo-llenium Crunch), I head home to celebrate Texas style!

GO MAVS!

Mavs! Rangers! Stanley Cup!

2011-06-01T22:57:00.000-07:00

I've been trying harder to get into my two least favorite professional sports: Basketball and Baseball. You get the bonus Hockeytalk in this blog. Don't worry, it'll be brief.

It just feels good to be here again, and to talk about stuff other than my kids and my faith.

Formalities aside....let's get started!

Jumping on the chamionship bandwagon I readily admit. Easily with the Rangers going to the World Series last year, I've had one eye on baseball this season. I'm even sortakinda noticing the A's and the Angels... if they win or lose.

Recently, my employer treated the whole company to an outing at The Temple and I couldn't attend because I had a far more grand calling: My Little One's Montessori graduation. I confess to be disappointed in not going to the game. We haven't been in years, and the weather was great! It's not every day I get a free game, free drinks, free food, free transportation to and fro.... Plus, now that I'm more of a fan of the Rangers and baseball in general, I was hoping to have a new and different kind of experience.

Since I couldn't attend that day, I will find time to take the family and we'll all go. I think I'll find a night game, though. :) Gettin' hot!

So that concludes baseballchat for now. On to hAckey:

Since my Stars are not in the Stanley Cup, I'm no less passionate about the Bruins v. Canucks. I absolutely LOVE to watch the Sedins, and Vancouver as a whole is just damn good fun to watch. They are fast, efficient and just overall GOOD! The American in me pulls for the Bruins, though. And I think they have some of the best uniforms in all of sports. Yes. ALL of sports....not just hockey. I'm really torn about who I want to win.... If I throw in the Stars and their conference affiliation, I should be rooting for the Canucks. But...they are Canadian! I'm American! So conflicted! I think it's best I just cheer for the greatness of the game. Don't you?

Game 1 earlier tonight was phenomenal. TT in net held it together until the last 18 seconds..... Oy! This is going to be a GREAT series!

Same with the Mavs gonna be a great series. I'm loving that they are in the finals. I've come to learn how hated the Heat are considering how they were 'built'. I really want Dirk to get a ring, and I don't think he'll be denied. King James can wait. DWade can wait. They all can.

Texas is due a championship by pure odds....

Let's make it happen, boys!

Honoring Norma Jean.....

2011-06-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

"Creativity has got to start with humanity and when you're a human being, you feel, you suffer."

Happy Birthday, timeless Marilyn

(a stunning brunette!)

Vaginas and Such....

2011-05-16T20:17:00.000-07:00

During Mass yesterday, at the end of the Our Father, My Little One asked me to pick her up "so I can sleep, Mama". I broke hands with My Husband, scooped her 44 pound body up into my arms then reconnected with the prayer chain by hand -- awkwardly.

My Little One starts rubbing her cheek and nose against my left breast, then rubs my right one with her hand. The she gives that right one a good squeeze or two and looks up at me with a sleepy smile and says, "Mama, is this where the milk came from when you fed me as a little baby?" Then she giggled.

Sticking with the prayer, I nod with a humored smile, affirming that yes, that's the milk-a-plenty source.

She squirmed loose at the end of the prayer, so I gently helped her to her feet.

I feel her tiny hand patting my tummy, then looks up at me with that same curious smile, "Mama, where did I come from? Your butt or your vagina?"

Yes, I laugh. Not out loud, but I do laugh.

I kneel on the kneeler and slide my hand around her, pulling her very close to me so I can tell her in her ear, "my vagina".

"EEEWwwww! That's just disTURBing!" she whisper-giggles. "Did they give you a bath after that?!" she mutters between snickers.

I'm smiling and trying not to laugh, again, nodding my head 'yes'.

"Okay. GOOD!" she replied then knelt down too.

+

How was that for some random church chat? *laughing*

May First Is

2011-05-01T09:02:00.000-07:00

May Day

May Day, Lei Day

The receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation for the kiddos at my church. You're on your own now! ;P (Congratulations!)

Beatification of (the now) Blessed Pope John Paul II

The Coronation of Mary, Queen of Heaven

and

The Feast of the Divine Mercy

(This is not the complete Chaplet, but it'll get you started....)

Beatification of John Paul II

2011-04-30T21:05:00.000-07:00

A big day for the world, May 1st. Big day for the Body of Christ. Big day for Humanity. Whether you believe in ("my", "a", "your", "absence of") God or not, trust me, this day affects us all.

In Rome, the Vigil Mass is going on, and there's a worldwide pilgrimage to view the Beatification of John Paul II. I wish I could go. Someday, I will make my pilgrimage to some site dedicated to JPII.

I wish I was more well-versed in papal history so I could speak (blog) with eloquent authority about his accomplishments to the human race -- NOT just the Catholic Church. I wish you knew how he changed the face of the modern-day church. I wish you knew how much he appreciated, valued, loved all of us, (yes, even you!) purely & wholly. He prayed for you. And he prayed for me. And we are we, in part, because of him.

This man was Pope most of my life. I was not always Catholic. In fact, I used to not only be agnostic, but I was anti-Catholic. However, as far back as my teenage years, I distinctly recall being drawn to watch him on television whenever images of him happened to appear on my parent's television during the nightly news. I was always compelled to him. I never understood why.

He has a warm, playful twinkle in his smiling eyes. The depth is endless. His hands convey compassion and strength. His demeanor was calm, confident, peaceful. He defines the word 'perseverance'.

His expression conveys his spirit.

There is opposition to his "fast-track" to sainthood. Beatification is the step before canonization (a.k.a. sainthood. Catholics have fancy words for every thing!). Personally, I don't mind one bit that he's on the fast-track. If I were Queen of the World, Pope John Paul II would've been sainted on his death bed!

I will call to him for intercession. I will always hold him near and dear to my heart. I will be paying attention through the night, waiting, hoping, praying. The peace I saw him embody, I pray I do as well. Surviving struggle the way he did, I pray I do. To be loving to you, I pray I am. To having smiling, playful eyes, even in my sadness, I pray to have.

I discovered that in his youth, Karol Wojtyla wrote poetry. Here is a poem you might enjoy:

Song of the Brightness of Water

From the depth—I came only to draw water
in a jug—so long ago, this brightness
still clings to my eyes—the perception I found,
and so much empty space, my own,
reflected in the well.

Yet it is good. I can never take all of you
into me. Stay then as mirror in the well.
Leaves and flowers remain, and each astonished gaze
brings them down
to my eyes transfixed more by light
than by sorrow.

Good night.

Drum Roll, Please....

2011-04-28T22:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not overly excited yet. I refuse to jump for joy until it's official, but....

*drum roll*

I unofficially made a B in my class!!

*faints*

Now...to find the life I left behind.....

*wanders off*

Test Anxiety

2011-04-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my final.

I'm terrified about the outcome.

My grade isn't as good as I hoped it would be, but it is a fair grade considering the effort I've put into the reading, which has turned into a part-time job. It's seriously a struggle and I realize that I need some accommodation of some sort for future classes.

I've been madstudying, but feeling like I'm wasting more time than utilizing it. I'm positive I have some focus issues (as evidenced by this post!), as well as reading comprehenion issues. I am considering getting tested for the reading comprehension, if they even do that sort of thing for 40 year old college students! *laughing*

Anyway, to add to all that just-described mess, I'm having anxiety.

My class is "Social and Personality Development" and it focuses on the way our personalities are shaped from birth through adolescence. I have thoroughly enjoyed this class! I want to immerse myself more often in it, truthfully. My professor is astounding, and I will take as many classes from her as possible.

During the course of the semester, there was some material about self-fulfilling prophecy. Upon learning more about this peculiar aspect of the human psyche, I am convinced that I'm limiting myself by relying on notions of "I have test anxiety", and "my reading comprehension sucks", etc. While those things might be true, I will move past them. I will not allow that mentatlity of those facts to limit my potential. Now... the question begs... HOW?

Reaching out. That's how.

So, with that said, babystep one: I'm reading out to you, requesting that you keep me in your thoughts, prayers, etc., as I take my final tomorrow. The magic number is 55 (or higher).

Back to the book....

God Is Dead

2011-04-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

He's quite the captivating speaker - emotive, gripping. He uses inflection, passion, urgency. He moves around the Altar, vestments cascading in the broken sunlight. His booming voice commands attention. He speaks, too, with his hands.

Some would say he's a good priest -- holy, devout, strict, knowledgeable. He professes the importantance of confession, community, denial of self/flesh/This World.

Women might even tease about his fetching good looks. He's fairly young, Italian, has good hair, wears his glasses smartly - fit build.

Giggling kids would ooze about his sense of humor and how he used "diarrhea" in a homily once. He tells jokes. He shares silly stories of his own embarrassing moments, and intertwines his faith into the anectdotes. He's very popular at St. Ann's in Coppell, Texas, where he is adored by the teen youth. I believe there is even a Facebook fan page for him craeted by those kids!

Truth is, Fathar Alfonse is just a human. He's like me and you. He wears baseball caps and likes to cook, just like the rest of us. He is in conflict with his father. He says women are pretty. I would venture to guess he shops at Target. He speeds and gets tickets. He and we are the same. He has sinned, and continues to sin. Just so happens, by his very service to God, that he happens to have way more religious education than most of us do and a wider breadth of the human condition.

But I'm not here to adulate one of the priests at my parish. I am here, however, to honor Father Alfonse as one of the Vessels of God, thusly, giving glory to God. Father indeed has a special God-given talent with spoken words. Through Father Alfonse, similar to Monsignor Don, I hear words in ways anew. I breathe them in in ways that offer me more life and warmth. Not all priests possess this ability, even though I'm open to hearing the message from any priest. So I am thankful to have the blessings of Father Alfonse (the blessings of God).

+

Fr. Alfonse opened the Good Friday homily in rather intentionally dramatic fashion with, "I'm about to tell you something, and I'm not exaggerating.". He quoted the German athiest philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, referring to how all of us - you and I - have killed God. Then Father said (paraphrasing): God is dead. Today (dramatic pause) God (slight pause) is dead. And we have killed Him. Everyone of us, you and I included, we've killed Him.

I'd never thought about that before - that on Holy Saturday, the world is without God. There's no heaven. No promise. No life in Him. There's no glory or hope. There's no light or faith. There is Nothing. There is darkness.

My mind and Triduum habits have historically leapt over Holy Saturday from Good Friday's Passion to the "Service of Light" (Christ Light to the world -- the darkness ignited with The Resurrection) in the Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday night (my second favorite service behind the Washing of Feet on Holy Thursday). This year, I was awakened to living in darkness. Yeah, I needed that.

+

Next reverberation - more words spoken through Father: Today, we are united with our separated breatheren.

With the understanding that God is dead today, there is no divide of humanity. If you are athiest, non-Christian, fallen-away Christian ... ANYONE...you and I, we are Godless today. We.Are.The.Same.People. I'm not sure if it's good or bad, right or wrong, or anything that can be defined, but I find great peace and comfort in knowing that finally, for one day a year, you and I are the same.

Throwing my faith into the aforementioned truth, I can see that I should be unsettled. I should not feel peace. How could I feel peace when I am in a dark, scary, lonely, Godless world? I should feel fear and anxiety.

But I don't. And I'm not going to judge that I feel peace about it.

Fr. Alfonse's Blog

And Just For Kicks....New Music!

2011-04-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd post some of the choice songs from the Duran Duran album All You Need Is Now:

+ Being Followed
+ Man Who Stole A Leopard (featuring Kelis)
+ Before The Rain
+ Too Bad You're So Beautiful
+ Early Summer Nerves
+ All You Need Is Now

The whole thing is good, like I've said previously. Safe, Girl Panic, Leave A Light On...all songs with good moods to them.

Do yourself a favor and pick it up....

~whoosh~

April Showers

2011-04-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

Gawd! I miss this place! I'm finding other homes, healthy and unhealthy, approved and disapproving, but I'm lurking. Always. I am paying attention, even if you can't tell I am.

School has really become a part-time job. I'm making a C, which is about what I'm putting into it. It's fair. I need a B. I'm not sure I can catch an A at this point. Pray for me....

I managed to overcommit myself. Imagine?! MOI? Too busy?!

Today, one commitment ended. Next weekend, another will come to a close. School will be done by month-end. My work has suffered and I'm ever so grateful for my friends and co-workers, bosses and other staff who have carried some weight there for me. I'm also grateful for a family who has tried so hard to bend with the wind, yet managed to find it slapping them right in the face in full gust.

I miss my family.

I miss my friends.

Thankfully, I feel like I'm missed, too. *kiss*

And, between the busy, I've tweeted the hell out of sports and double entendre and poetry. I love that #the2300 group! It keeps me up way too late, but it's a fun, innocent escape. I managed, too, to go to a Duran Duran concert at the Winstar in Thackerville, Oklahoma. Best! Concert! EVER! I've never seen Simon so animated with each and every song! At the end, Simon screamed out "who's your daddaaayyyy?" over and over and I think I came pretty close to ... well... you get the idea! haha Seriously, such a good show and I'm hungry for more! The new album is really wonderful...well, beyond wonderful. It's money well spent!

My Stars lost tonight, which means no playoffs. I'm going to try really hard to like baseball this year. I draw the line at Mavs. Can't do pro hoops. Speaking of hoops -- Duke. *sigh* Yet another sports fail.

I need to get back to reading but wanted to steal a moment to say hi for those of you still out there checking every once in a while (I'm so glad you do...). Not too much longer and I'll be back more regularly.

~whoosh

Personality Differences

2011-03-31T21:57:00.000-07:00

I have been so terribly busy since January. I've been taking a psychology class one night a week, but the reading alone is a part-time job because of the amount of energy I have to expend doing so.

I was blessed enough to be stopped in time to notice a few items around the house that made me stop and smile.

This basket is called "The Come & Go Basket". It's filled with borrowed books that My Eldest has read or is currently reading. The books are ones checked out from her school library, the local library, borrowed from friends or family, or borrowed from teachers at school. At any given time, I would guess that My Eldest is reading at least five books or more. She finishes most thicker books in two days or less (like the ones on the right). I'm amazed at her, and prayprayPRAY she stays this interested in reading her whole life!

Anyway, I snapped this picture because I think it captures her essence. She's introspective, knowledgeable about a lot of things, and interested in life, which is depicted in books. The basket represents how she's a catch-all for stories. Or how she is constantly filled. The basket is never empty. Never. It's a good symbol of who she is.

The borrowed book basket library of My Eldest

And then there's My Little One.... *laughing*

Look at the neatly lined-up paper umbrellas. Yes, this is her. She's playful, colorful, likes fancy things and she's even organized. I wouldn't say that she's obsessed with order by any means, but she definitely likes things her way. She knows what she wants & doesn't want. She has an appreciation for how things look. This photo, taken the same day as the Come & Go Basket photo, captures My Little One's essence, too. Playful, observant, eye for detail, has a flair about her, and even some culture for her tender age.

My Little One has an eye for design and structure

Too Bad You're So Beautiful

2011-03-21T16:18:00.001-07:00

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that phrase told to me.... *sigh*... (I'd still have zero dollars.)

:)

Sooooo... HI! I miss you!

Leave it to Duran Duran to get me here for a quickie!

Tuesday - tomorrow - is the physical CD release of All You Need Is Now.

I guess this is a music release or band trend? Or maybe Duran2 is doing something a little different with music releases? I'm not sure which it is, if either, because I'm 40 now and that means all things trendy and/or relevant, I am not allowed to know. I'm so not a cool kid anymore.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that in December, Duran Duran released the AYNIN CD on iTunes only, meaning, you couldn't just go to the store and buy the CD; it was available only by download. AYNIN has only nine (incredible) songs (except "Blame The Machines" - shh! don't tell anyone I dislike that one.), UNLESS you live in EUROPE, in which you get a BONUS track (From Mediterranea With Love). That song was not released here in the States on iTunes (boo! and wtf?). Anyway, tomorrow is the actual physical CD release where you can actually GO and BUY an actualy PHYSICAL compact disc of their actual new music and it has actually MORE tracks on it than what was actually release on the actual iTunes.

The song I attached to this blog is one of the BONUS PHYSICAL CD tracks.

I'm all about supporting Duran Duran, but how many times do I have to buy the same songs?! Srsly! This must be the trend in music these days, and I'm just now waking up in 2011. Hello new world!

Side note: I saw them in concert on Friday night (yeah, like just a few days ago Friday night) in Thackerville, Oklahoma, at the Winstar Casino. Concert review pending.....

Favorite Words: Twitterpated

2011-03-11T11:50:00.001-08:00

Long before Twitter, there was twitterpated...

'Tis that time of year....

Tweet!

Butterfly Birthday Girl

2011-03-10T09:16:00.000-08:00

Yes, she IS going to have a butterfly shaped cake with blue frosting, and three layers of cake 'neath the creamybluegoodness. The three layers will be vanilla, strawberry, chocolate -- a true neopolitan. Oh, and don't forget the glitterrrr!

My Little One told me yesterday that she had never seen yellow roses before. We had been talking about state flowers, and I told her I thought the yellow rose was Texas's, but I must've thought that erroneously (I suspect because of that song The Yellow Rose of Texas - thanks Elvis!); every place I've looked says it's the bluebonnet. I couldn't help but get her a dozen yellow roses to greet her at the breakfast table (complete with special request Orange Crush and donuts). My Eldest made her the necklace she's wearing, which is paper rolled into beeds. So special....

Anyway...

This day, five years ago, God blessed me with a sunshine so bright, warm and life-giving. I'm not worthy to be in her light.....

Happy Birthday, Little One, and keep shining!

WW: Whoopi Goldberg

2011-03-02T07:05:00.000-08:00

1. An actress can only play a woman. I'm an actor, I can play anything.

If you could experience any life form that was not a human of your sex, what would you pick and why?

Este Mariposa. You'll see why when you click the link. :)

2. For some reason, all artists have self-esteem issues.

Do you have any self esteem issues? Do tell. (Since we all do.)

hahahahahaha!

We ALL have self-esteem issues! Duh! It's just a matter of degree and capacity.

3. I am the American Dream. I am the epitome of what the American Dream basically said. It said, you could come from anywhere and be anything you want in this country. That's exactly what I've done.

Do you believe in the American Dream or has it passed through time?

Yes, I do.

4. I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation.

It's been asked before, probably weekly, but what's irritating you today?

Today I'm irritated by not having enough time to plan My Little One's birthday party.

5. I don't look like Halle Berry. But chances are, she's going to end up looking like me.

What do you think you'll end up looking like?

"End up" suggests....in old age? Post cosmetic surgery? After going 3 rounds with Pacquiao? While running over a bed of burning coals that's covering up a sea of thumb-tacks with the prickly sides up?

*overthinking the question*

:)

I'll look the way I'm supposed to: perfectly me.

6. I grew up in a time when it would never have occurred to anyone to tell me there was anything I couldn't do.

Has anyone told you that you could not do something?

Sure. Of course. I've also been told "you'll never be satisfied". Good? Or bad? At the time, I felt awful. I was crushed! It was most definitely a criticism, and it wasn't from a boyfriend/husband or significant other. I'm sure there's some truth to it, and as I've grown older, I don't see that as such a bad thing. It's about finding what to accept and what's unacceptable, then progressing.

But being told I couldn't so something -- absolutely it's been said to me, and I've even said it to and about myself. There's nothing wrong with having a realistic view of oneself backed up by the checks-and-balance system of friends and family.

But to degrade someone in order to elevate oneself is downright shameless.

7. I want Carl Sagan to explain the sky to me.

Is there anybody dead that you'd like to talk to?

Thomas Jefferson. My dad.

8. If every American donated five hours a week, it would equal the labor of 20 million full-time volunteers.

Have you ever done volunteer work?

I have and still do! I love serving my community!

I've served as a volunteer for Big Brothers & Big Sisters, several church ministries, Southwest Jewish Congress, various capacities where my children attend school, Girl Scouts of America, Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas, and a handful of others.

I shy away from political volunteerism.

I have notions of helping with Downs Syndrome, Hospice, and some other special passions near and dear to my heart.

I'd love to be able to write "Philanthropist" on my tax form each year.

I admire those brave souls who are empowered with serving on the global scale.

9. It's being willing to walk away that gives you strength and power - if you're willing to accept the consequences of doing what you want to do.

Have you ever walked away from a job and regretted it?

"Walking away" implies to me that I quit on the spot and impulsively left the premises. I've done this once when I was 19 and working for Pizza Hut. I don't regret it.

I haven't regretted leaving any job.

10. Normal is in the eye of the beholder.

Are you normal? Explain.

How do you see me?

Specializing

2011-02-26T23:50:00.000-08:00

WHY is it SO HARD for me to just focus on ONE thing and learn it? Why can't I "specialize" in something?

God has blessed me with an ability converse well, being able to discuss a wide range of topics with people in various forms and forums, but I am frustrated by not knowing a lot about one thing.

I've been especially interested in poetry and wordsmithing lately, something beyond this blog, something more...I don't know...Sophisticated? Refined? Formal? Well-structured? Professional? Not sure exactly the right word (which is why I am none of those things! *laughing*)

I like to read poetry. I'm moved by it ways similar to how I'm moved by music. It's a visceral experience. Every fiber of my being can move into my interpretation of the body of work. My whole soul can be consumed by it.

I want to author words that will consume you. I want to portray images and evoke emotions that make you ache, cringe, writhe, settle, smile. I want to do that in poetic form. And I want to be good at it.

I have found myself over the last couple of years, reading some poetry and learning snippets of the lives of these poets. These particular ones (Syliva Plath, Anais Nin, Anne Sexton, to name a few) are dark and charged, if that makes any sense. I believe most of them even committed suicide, which suggests a thing or seven in of itself, no?

Perhaps it's because I'm not haunted enough, or jaded, lonely, tortured enough. Would these character issues, these soul struggles, these fissured facets of personality, somehow be a catalyst to me exercising my poetry brain and hands?

*shrug*

I will always have my blog....and that's a good thing.

+

Until next time, I will leave you with this jewel:

With Mercy for the Greedy

by Anne Sexton

For my friend, Ruth, who urges me to make an appointment for the Sacrament of Confession

Concerning your letter in which you ask

me to call a priest and in which you ask

me to wear The Cross that you enclose;

your own cross,

your dog-bitten cross,

no larger than a thumb,

small and wooden, no thorns, this rose—

I pray to its shadow,

that gray place

where it lies on your letter ... deep, deep.

I detest my sins and I try to believe

in The Cross. I touch its tender hips, its dark jawed face,

its solid neck, its brown sleep.

True. There is

a beautiful Jesus.

He is frozen to his bones like a chunk of beef.

How desperately he wanted to pull his arms in!

How desperately I touch his vertical and horizontal axes!

But I can’t. Need is not quite belief.

All morning long

I have worn

your cross, hung with package string around my throat.

It tapped me lightly as a child’s heart might,

tapping secondhand, softly waiting to be born.

Ruth, I cherish the letter you wrote.

My friend, my friend, I was born

doing reference work in sin, and born

confessing it. This is what poems are:

with mercy

for the greedy,

they are the tongue’s wrangle,

the world's pottage, the rat's star.

WW: Ashley Judd

2011-02-23T07:04:00.000-08:00

1. Abstinence, being faithful and correct and consistent condom use are the only ways to successfully reach everyone when discussing HIV prevention. I believe that the abstinence message alone does not solve the AIDS epidemic.

Do you think there is any realistic point of trying to teach abstinence?

Seems like a losing battle -- kind of like the Drug War. There's so much media selling sex and let's face it, sex sells. Abstinence doesn't. Once those in pop-culture media collectively embrace abstinence and represent it as "cool", then maybe there will be a point.

Societal criticism aside, I do believe in the *value* of teaching it and as my kids grow older, I will lay this foundation to the best of my ability, toss in some prayer, and trust The Man Upstairs.

2. And when I started to get wind of the fact that they actually liked me being around. That was humbling, because Kentucky basketball is a big deal, and I am not the biggest fan - I am just the most notorious one.

What are you a fan of (sport or non-sport)?

You name it, I like it; I just wished I played more!

I'm a HUGE fan of NFL, NHL. I have always liked college hoops. I am not much for NBA, but keep one ear open about the Mavs. Same for baseball. I listen to sports talk radio a lot during the day, so I get an earful of sports.

Olympics, community sports, school athletics...you name it, I pretty much like it.

Exclusion: WWE.

3. Both my husband and I give a lot of ourselves in what we do because that is our public lives; but in my private life, I have an intrinsic right to be left alone.

How much alone time do you need in a relationship?

I need more than I take/get.

4. I did a lot of hiking and I loved it.

What outdoor activity is your favorite?

I also love hiking! Haven't done it in years.

5. I get lonely when I'm a Playstation widow.

What video games are you into?

We have a Wii in our house. I am a huge fan of the Active Life games such as Outdoor Adventure and Just Dance.

On my cell phone, I tend to play word games or visual attention games such as Words With Friends and Mahjong.

6. I think it's easy for me to connect to some people, and I don't know if that's the same thing as falling in love whereas before, I might have said it was.

Tell us about a time that you thought you were in love, only to find out that it was only physical attraction?

Do crushes count? I have this almost daily. *laughing*

7. I think that being perceptive and having interests is nothing but an asset.

How perceptive are you with new people in you meet?

I've been told I'm rather perceptive and observant. I've also been told that I have some sensitivities to people that maybe others don't. I connect with people fairly easily, and agree it's an asset. It can be a bit dangerous because some people want me to be more invested than I'm willing to be.

8. I think that, as with marriage, you just know when it's time to have kids.

If you have kids was it because you were ready? If not when did you decide that?

My experience of having children was one I believe to be totally bigger than myself.

I didn't want any children, yet, I have two. When I found out I was pregnant with My Eldest, I knew it was meant to be. My dad was dying of cancer, and here, his legacy was growing in my body. Beautiful life-is-full-circle moment for me. Humbling.

When My Eldest was about 3 or 4, My Husband and I were trying to have kids and I miscarried two over about a year's time. I was 35, adamant about not having children after 35. When I miscarried, I accepted that My Eldest is enough and she's abundant. My Eldest was beautiful and sweet and more than I could ever hope and dream. I would be perfectly happy with her and the three of us as a family.

About six weeks after the miscarriage, I was at the gynecologist's office for an annual exam and came out of there being informed I was pregnant. *shock* Again, unexpected. Again, in my mind, meant to be.

Was I ready for them? Yes. Did I feel ready for them? No. But it's not about me. I know that I was given the tools to mother them, and settled into that role fairly quickly. I just knew.

9. It's up to us to take pop culture back and to express quality and dignity for both boys and girls.

What’s the best of pop culture that works for you in 2011?

Gosh, I can't say that anything in pop culture works for me. I know I must sound like an old, crotchety, judgmental mother.

I openly admit to being a bit of a control freak about what My Kids watch, see, listen to and do. I know there are good things out there....I just don't have the time or energy to find them. Sad? Maybe. But I feel like My Kids are well-adjusted, happy, and even "cool".

10. No, I don't tolerate pressure from anyone about anything.

When was the time that someone made you feel pressured?

I feel pressure at work, pressure by My Husband, pressure by My Kids, pressure by My Mother, and so on -- all at once. Yeah, I'm a bit anxious. I would like to handle it better than I do.

WW: Selma Hayek

2011-02-17T13:25:00.000-08:00

She looks a bit like Cher here, no?

1. Every woman who thinks she is the only victim of violence has to know that there are many more.

Do you know someone that has been a victim of domestic violence?

Yes, I know a woman who is the victim of domestic violence: my mom. I'm blessed she survived long enough to have me.

2. I became obsessed with all these women who die never feeling they did anything extraordinary with their lives.

hat woman do you feel has made a significant contribution to society over the last decade?

This is a bit tricky to answer consdering in The Information Age, it's difficult to filter through what is fed to us and have a realistic picture of how someone is or what they do for us.

I also think this is a bit of a bogus question because there are many non-famous women who make daily impacts. Sadly, I couldn't put a face to her or a name, but I know she's out there. And if you're one of those notsofamous women changing the world in subtle ways, and you've come across this lil blog o' mine, just know this notsofamous woman lifts you up in glory and gratitude!

To the intent of the question:

Oprah comes to mind first. She's rather influential, wouldn't you say? And her influence surpasses pop culture and television. Her opinions affect the economy and politics! She's had incredible global influence. She uses her powers for good and not evil. And considering her childhood and background, I'm pretty amazed by her.

Though she died in the nineties, her legacy lives on in her children. Lady Diana, pristine royalty unafraid to touch diseased humans in third world countries, has left a lasting contribution as manifested in her sons. They appear to be very compassionate humanitarians who have taken their mother's work and made it soar.

Know who else I think is making a difference? It might surprise you. Ready? Angelina Jolie. Talk about a person who has a global mind! And not only is she a global thinker, she ACTS on her worldly thoughts, and I don't mean by adopting kids from all around the world. She's an Ambassador for the UN!

Also globally, yet so under the radar is WHO's Director General Margaret Chan. Yeah, she's making decisions about science and health for THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD! Um, yeah, important I'd say.

Women such as Hilary Clinton, Condolezza Rice (*sigh* I love this woman! Dear Condi, please buy an NFL team. Specifically, please uproot Jerry Jones and be the Cowboys owner. kthnxbye), Melinda Gates, Sarah Palin (*ducks*), JK Rowling all with morsels of influence.

I ventured out to the list of 100 Most Powerful Women as defined by Forbes, and was surprised to see the following names:

Lady Gaga
Beyonce
Michelle Bachman

I'm embarrassed to confess that I had no idea there were so many female world leaders (thus proving my headinthesand-ness)! I was not surprised, however, to find so many female CEOs. Nor was I surprised to see the plethora of female representation in the U.S. government. Lastly, seeing so many women who are leaders of charitable organizations doesn't surprise me in the least.

3. I have a farm and I love it there. There's really nothing to do, but even watching the chickens, its fun.

Have you ever considered life on a farm (perhaps with a pig named Arnold)?

I've considered living on a ranch. I am very intrigued by living far out of the city, but then I think about the bugs and varmints and wonder if I'd get thick enough skin to survive that.

For over a decade, I've longed to own an ittybitty lakehouse but (1) I can't afford two mortgages, (2) I don't have enough cash to pay for it outright and (3) spiders -- BIG spiders -- live at the lake. As a 4th for insurance -- water moccasins. Those snakes creep me out megabig! *shiver*

I would mostly love a place that's out of town, to a drive-able distance, that I could be alone for a few days. This place would also be a destination for a girls weekend, a family get-away, or a lent place for a dear friend or family member to stay. It'd be a refuge of sorts. It'd be a creative space. It'd be free of congestion and city noise. It'd not have internet access or television; maybe it'll have a radio. It'd have a comfy bed, an incomplete set of dishes, cloth napkins. I'd want a washer but no dryer so that I could let the laundry air dry (as if there'd even be much laundry....).

No, no. I haven't considered a farm. Other "just watch the chickens" places, yes.

4. I proved to myself that if I believe in something and set my mind to it I could actually accomplish it.

Do you think that’s true of everybody in all situations?

I believe we all have latent power, so to speak. We find it through adversity. So, yes.

5. I really do love Diana Ross; I grew up listening to her records. I grew up in a little town in Mexico, so while we got the music, we never got the experience of watching her.

Who is you favorite Motown era artist?

Tina Turner! Those legs! That hair! That voice! Time to listen to "Proud Mary".....

6. I think it's nice for women to try to be sexy for their man.

How much time to you spend getting “sexy” for a partner?

Not nearly enough... but I do like to feel sexy, even if it's for myself. I don't need a man to validate my sexy (and that's not feminism talking -- it's self-respect!).

7. I'm good at working, but I'm very good at playing.

How do balance work and play in your life?

I don't. I just don't.

8. I've stolen a couple of hearts and they are in my private collection!

Do you think that you’ve ever broke someone’s heart?

It all washes out in the end.....

9. My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood.

Do you think that you drive well?

Negatory! I hate city driving. I love road trips. Neither in which I drive well.

*snaps fingers* Chauffeur???

10. Some men have a silly theory about beautiful women - that somewhere along the line they'll turn into a monster.

Do you feel that someone’s looks has a lot to do with their behavior?

I think a person's self-respect, self-esteem and self-perception affects his/her behavior. If those are askew as a result of looks, education, culture, whatever reason, then it'll affect behavior.

Does Mega-Hotness Count As A Super Power?

2011-02-14T10:05:00.000-08:00

Ummm....YES!

Happy Valentine's Day!

New Music:

I Will Always Love You ~ Dolly Parton
Hello, I Love You ~ The Doors
Better Than Ice Cream ~ Sarah McLachlan

WW: Ronald Reagan

2011-02-08T08:41:00.001-08:00

Today we picked Ronald Reagan. Here's Wednesday Wickedness!

This is going to be tough for me because a lot of the questions are about Ronald Regan's politics, and I've chosen to abstain from politics for a few years now, not because I don't care, rather because of a combination of becoming a bit apathetic as well as being too busy to care. American Politics feels very negative anymore. There used to be a time where it's core agenda was bettering humanity, globally. I admit to living in a bubble, unaware and unwilling to learn very much about world politics.

1. A tree's a tree. How many more do you need to look at?

Are you concerned about mankind's intrusion into forests and jungles?

I'm claiming ignorance right off the bat. With that said, no, not concerned. I'm more concerned about the waste issue. Reduce, reuse, recycle, people! Only order what you're going to eat. If you don't eat it all -- leftovers! Use cloth napkins instead of paper napkins, and use them more than once if they aren't too soiled. Use plastic, washable plates in stead of paper plates. Same with cups. Don't throw away your plastic ware used at parties -- wash it and use it again! Oh, speaking of all this washing -- kill your dishwasher and wash by hand WITHOUT the water running while washing and rinsing. Wash all the dishes then dry all the dishes. If there are too many, do it in shifts.

I could go on, but then I'll sound like a liberal (all due respect to Mr. Reagan!) and lose my "fence squatting" status as an Independent.

2. All great change in America begins at the dinner table.

What is the biggest change that you've seen in your lifetime with the U.S?

Information Age.

3. All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk.

Do you feel nuclear power is still the fuel of our future?

No, I don't, especially with alternative fuel sources being developed.

Strangely, being a child of the 80's, which was a generation rattled with fear of AIDS and nuclear war, I still fear nuclear war and associate "nuclear energy" with war.

4. But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.

How did you do academically in high school?

I did well in high school academically -- graduated top 10%, honors courses, scholarships and all that jazz. High school performance is not a good indicator of college performance or career success, not anymore anyway. The richest, most successful, brilliant people in the world are/were high school or college drop outs.

5. Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.

How closely have you followed the uprising in Egypt? Thoughts?

There's an uprising in Egypt?

Yeah, remember? I don't watch or read news anymore.

On a side note, I find the usage of the phrase "concentrated power" to be quite glaring. What a powerful & eloquent quote by Mr. Reagan.

6. Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.

Do you feel a political system is worth dying for?

Yes, I do, but not all of them. I believe democracy is worth dying for. Parliament is a close second. The rest -- meh.

7. Don't be afraid to see what you see.

What do you see that scares you?

Again, I try very hard not to see or seek things in this vain because I already live in enough fear. I also don't like negative energy around me.

However, in a hobbling effort to answer the question and play fairly, though, I'll list a couple. Some "scares" I have include: sexual predators, neglect of the elderly, mistreatment of innocents, the forgotten people, ignorance, stupidity.

I have more, but I don't want to go there....nor do I want to take you there.

Considering another perspective, a few quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt pounced to the front of my thoughts:

Do one thing each day that scares you.
You can often change your circumstances if you change your attitude.

Fear is crippling. Overcoming it to advance is necessary, yet optional. What a very uncomfortable way to exist.

Trust the process. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

8. Each generation goes further than the generation preceding it because it stands on the shoulders of that generation. You will have opportunities beyond anything we've ever known.

Tell us about an advance that you we will see in our lifetimes that is not in existence.

It's questions like this that make me wish I was more of a science-head. Also makes me wish I graduated college. *laughing*

I suppose it's pretty realistic to have a chip implanted that would keep our personal data and allow us access to information, places, etc. Right? Would you want that? Is that considered an advance? You decide... :)

9. Facts are stubborn things.

What is something that most think of as a fact that does not ring true to you?

News is unbiased.

A politician can effectuate the change in a term as espoused in campaign-speak.

The Catholic (or any church) Church is perfect.

Castration cures the male sexual predator.

..........

10. Freedom prospers when religion is vibrant and the rule of law under God is acknowledged.

What do you think of politicians that use religion as justification of their beliefs?

Religion and politics. Politics and religion. I'm cringing and uncomfortable with this question.

Generally speaking, I'm unconcerned if a U.S. politician uses his or her faith as a tool to discern the health of the people at large. It says to me that he or she thinks beyond self, with compassion. They already do by being a servant to the community and public at large. So if s/he prays, uses words in speeches that suggest using faith as a tool in making decisions, I'm generally okay with that.

If one is believer in a god, there are two sets of laws to consider: God's law and civil law (man's law). The clashing of the two is the battle of Wills: God's vs. Free, I suppose. Assuming a politician is a believer, then it's only logical that faith would impact governing decisions, even subconsciously. Americans who believe otherwise, demanding church and state be separated, are fooling themselves, even if the Constitution says "separate". Have you taken a good, hard look at our currency?

I like how this question assumes a politician even has a religion. What about the Athiests? How would his/her NoGod-brain impact government and society? Ever thought about that? And Agnostics? OhThereMightBeAGod-brains will impact politics in what way? Thomas Jefferson settled into Deism. He's the primary author of the Constitition. What conclusions would you draw from those facts?

Too much philosophy worming around now...so...best I stop.

~Whoosh!

It Was A Wednesday

2011-02-07T14:18:00.000-08:00

NOTE: Before you read this post, be advised that this is an extremely emotional post. Today is the 10th anniversary of my father's passing, and I'm handling it with a myriad of emotions. My post today offers glances into the impressive memories I still carry, and documents (perhaps imperfectly) certain parts of the chronology of My Dad's last days. It is not meant to be a story of conversion or witnessing, or a testimonial about medicine, end-of-life care, etc. It's not intended to stir up any kind of controversy. It's simply me needing to release the power of the grief I carry, remember My Dad, and to give and receive love.

The tiny, bright-eyed almost-four-month old little girl and I packed up our weekend necessities then packed into my little 1994 Acura Integra to make our weekly weekend jaunt to San Angelo from Dallas - about a five or six hour drive.

The previous Christmas, My Father announced his decision to refuse any more cancer treatment (he had already endured 18+ months of it, and exceeded all life-expectancy projections). Privately to him, I committed that I would bring My Baby and we would come see him each weekend. My Baby was his first biological grandchild - his legacy. I was determined that the two of them -- well, all of us -- would spend as much time together as possible before Fate punctuated it with a period. Daddy told me at Christmas, "The doctors say I could live as long as six months or more, so no need to put yourself through all that stress."

Daddy lived only six more weeks. The Baby and I made it to San Angelo five out of those six weeks before he died.

I had an analog cellular phone back then.

I was just about to turn off I-20 onto Loop 206 at Cisco, when My Mom called.

"He's fallen! I can't get him up!" Her voice was trembling, panicked and fear-filled.

I offered some advice, then told her I'd be out of pocket for a bit because of the lack of cellular service, but I'd get there as soon as I could and would call her once service was available again.

When I arrived to the house, Daddy was off the floor and laying in their bedroom, a smile greeting me and My Baby.

A hospital bed - Daddy's death bed - was delivered and set up in the dining room of My Parents home that day.

I did not believe in God that day.

That was Friday, February 3, 2001.

Daddy gifted his sisters & me with a game of Hollywood Gin while savoring Blue Bell Banana Split ice cream. He insisted on keeping score.

It was so hard to see him hold the pen to the paper and not make the symbols that his once quick-witted and very bright mind was envisioning. Clearly, there was a disconnect between his reality and everyone elses. It was pretty tricky, really, because his body made the movements that are so familiar: picked up the pen with his right hand, turned his eyes to the pad of paper, moved his hand to write, pressed down the tip of the pen to the paper..... There was just never a number written on the paper - the pen locked between dyingofcancerbrain and every day action.

Yet, we all smiled, continued playing as if there was no cancer, as if there was nothing wrong at all, as if it were another holidayish get-together. Our eyes did indeed shift back and forth, glances speaking fears and worries. Daddy's eyes were bright and smiling.

He had a good day that day.

Alas, it was his Last Hurrah, so to speak. Sisters & friends who had been coming over throughout the day had all left for the evening - just Mom, Baby, Dad and me. Daddy's condition deteriorated quickly as the dark of the night blanketed Texas. He became immobile, difficult to understand and quite agitated when awake. He communicated with his sinking and fading eyes, as well as grunts. He would try to use his hands, yet his arms seemed weighted, wrists restrained. There were no restraints, though.

I was holding My Baby who was being very playful and occasionally fussy. Daddy could hear her and his eyes would dart toward her voice. At one time, his weak fingers motioned me over and his eyes looked at mine, then looked to My Eldest then to his chest. He wanted me to put her on his belly. So I did. They were belly to belly. She studied him, serious at times, looking to me for answers and assurance, then would break out into the biggest, brightest smile. She offered it to me, and gave it to him. His fingers reached to touch her. I helped him reach up and put his hand on her back. A tear spilled out of outside corner of his eye and it meandered down his temple, over his ear until it was absorbed back into his body.

Talk about being so elated and so sad at the same time -- wow! I was keenly aware of the magnitude of that moment in time. It's still so raw for me....

I did not believe in God that day.

That was Saturday, February 4, 2001.

Watching my now-unconscious Dad, in what I could interpret only as him walking backwards through his life, I remain wowed by the argumentative utterances, the grunts that seemed like laughter, unintelligible words that seemed so joyous in tone, or even commanding. At times, he'd raise his arm and mimic a handshake. Other times, both arms would raise and his hands would flail as if he were giving someone a hug. Yet other times, his arms were postured as he held a rifle.

I wondered, sitting there in the sun on the powder blue loveseat, if Daddy was greeting friends on his walk into The Light. Or, was he reconciling his heavy heart in some way? Is he hunting or in Viet Nam? Is he ordering soldiers? Is he arguing with my mom? Is he actually being reunited with friends, deceased Army buddies, his own father and mother? WHAT is going on in that head of his?! I realized how little I knew about My Father's life suddenly. I suppose I know all that I need to know, though.

He was on some sort of journey.

I comforted Daddy in every way except one. I couldn't bring myself to do that part. My Mother did it instead. I felt so helpless. Mom was amazing.

I did not believe in God that day. I didn't not believe, either.

That was Sunday, February 6th, 2001.

My brother made his travel-to-Texas plans.

I read the pamphlet from Hospice which detailed the death process for cancer victims. I distinctly remember these words: secretions, Cheyne Stoke breathing, eliminate. The pamphlet also said, often, the sick person will have this ONE DAY where the person will seem to be his/her "old self". I would say the Hollywood Gin day was that ONE DAY.

Hospice arrived because we called them when the secretions began. Then, true to the pamphlet information, that creepy breathing began. Having been enlightened and empowered with the medical process of a dying cancer victim, I honed in on watching for the signs.

A little later, My Baby was napping. I'm still not sure where My Mom and all the other people were, but I had the gift of this moment alone with My Dad. So I took the time to sit next to him. I curled my fingers around his rough hand. I could tell he was miserable. I don't know how or what it was exactly, but I just new he was ready. Was he holding on for My Brother to arrive? I had heard about those folks who are dying that seem to wait for permission to die. They hold on for something or someone and until there's some arrival or permission, the misery endures.

I didn't want My Father to be in any more discomfort.

"Daddy, if you're waiting for My Brother, don't. He will understand. He knows. If you need and want to go, then go. We all love you." Then I leaned over and kissed his knuckle. "I love you."

I sat there quietly for a few moments more until My Baby stirred awake. I stood up from the bedside and scooped that Little Girl - the next in the Circle of Life - into my embrace, held her tightly against my bosom to the bedroom. After changing her diaper, she and I danced down the hall to return to where My Dad was, and My Mom took My Baby from me, "Let me hold her. The lady from Hospice needs to talk to you."

My Dad had just died.

Just like that -- less than ten minutes after our "talk" -- he was gone.

One eye wide open, one eye mostly shut, his mouth agape and body hollow of soul, he was gone.

I exhaled.

Later that day, as I cried in the shower with my face pressed against the cold tile with the hot water soothing me, comforting me, a special gift was given to me. It was from God.

I was converted at that moment; I came to believe.

That was Wednesday, February 7, 2001.

You might notice that I changed the music. The songs are:

You Never Even Called Me By My Name (The Darlin' Darlin' Song) ~ David Allen Coe
Don't It Make Your Brown Eyes Blue ~ Crystal Gayle
Wasted Days And Wasted Nights ~ Freddy Fender
She's Got You ~ Patsy Cline
She Believes In Me ~ Kenny Rogers

This music reminds me of growing up, of My Dad, of times with him or things about him. For example, the Freddy Fender song is My Parents wedding anniversary song. The DAC song is one we'd play during The Bronc's world-famous fish fry get-togethers. The whole inside of the bar and all the folks cooking and shooting bull on the outside of the bar would sing along. SO! GREAT!

~ the lake where My Dad rests ~

WW: Charlie Sheen

2011-02-01T10:34:00.001-08:00

Today we picked Charlie Sheen. Here's Wednesday Wickedness!

1. As kids we're not taught how to deal with success; we're taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?
What is something in which that you did not expect to succeed, but ultimately you were successful?

I don't know about you, but I think he has a pretty valid point. And for someone who has always seen myself as NOT succeeding at things, to answer this question is quite a challenge!

As a young woman, I envisioned myself finishing college, starting a family and being a stay-at-home mother/wife until the kids were older. When they were school age, I would work during their school time.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WTF was I thinking?!

Does that mean I'm a failure? Hell no. It means that I didn't live out that "dream".

Taking inventory of my life currently, I'd say I'm very successful. And although I have not completed my formal education, I feel quite thankful for the gifts given to me that qualify me as "successful".

2. Dad kept us out of school, but school comes and goes. Family is forever.
What do you think about home schooling?

I think home schooling is appropriate so long as the parents make the effort to appropriately socialize the child. All too often, home schooling leads to sheltering of a child. The child grows up in a bubble and when is of age to go to college or live life independently, s/he doesn't have the coping mechanisms or the social finesse to feel well-adjusted.

Family IS forever. True. Undeniable.

3. I just didn't believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique.
What makes you unique?

I'm "unique" in many ways, but I'm exactly who I am supposed to be. We are socialized and it's natural for us to want to compartmentalize everything and everyone. The key is to accept self and accept others.
4. I just don't want to live like I used to. And at some point, I'm going to put a gag order on myself in terms of talking about the past. I've got to slam the door and deal with the present and the future.
When you meet someone, how much of your past do you reveal?

I have this drive to want to fully disclose my whole self to someone, but I'm also a bit cynnical about a person handling all that information anymore. I'm nestled into the belief that no one can and should know everything about me. And it's not selfish by any means. It's not that I necessarily want to hide or protect myself. It's also thoughtfulness of the other person. It's the consderation that perhaps that person doesn't want to know, or has a set of experiences and circumstances that will inhibit acceptance. Of course, the underlying fear of not being accepted flutters about constantly.

So, when I first meet a person, I do what comes naturally. If there's something that I reveal about my past that makes sense in the context of the conversation or situation, I'll open up about my past. Otherwise, the past is merely a tool by which I've grown into the person I am today.
5. I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.
Has rehab helped either you or a member of your family?

I don't personally know anyone who has been to rehab. The closest experience I have to rehab is my activity in the 12 Step program of Overeaters Anonymous. I'm a huge believer in the 12 step program! So, yes, it's helped me personally and others I know.
6. I still don't have all the answers. I'm more interested in what I can do next than what I did last.
Do you dwell on your past?

Yes, I will go through dark periods of self-doubt, self-condemnation, self-analysis. When I'm in these funks, I tend to be harshly critical of myself. I try hard to move on quickly but somethings remain unreconciled. I'm no exception here....we all go through degrees and periods of past-dwelling.
7. I think what drove me insane for a long time is feeling like I hadn't earned most of what I achieved because it came so fast.
Have you ever profited from something that at the time you felt that you did not earn?

Oh, I suppose so. If there are times I've been at work and kind of blown off the day by doing stupid non-work things (like blog), then most certainly, I feel like I've profited without earning.

It's easy to spiritually feel unworthy or in a state of having more than I deserve. I suppose it has a healthy and fruitful function of humility. This is a truth for me...not feeling worthy of all that I'm given. I look at my kids and wonder how in the world God though *I* could raise them. I evaluate my life and wonder how the heck I landed on my feet so gracefully. It's all through God's grace.
8. I've got volumes on how not to behave. I've got more information now than a guy should have at my age.
Have you ever behaved in a way that you should not have?

Daily. *laughing* Pray for me!
9. The paramedic called the press and sold me like a loaf of bread. This was news, and he wanted to be the one to report it.
Have you ever been in an ambulance? If not, have you ever been present when an ambulance was used?

I have been in the back of an ambulance at certain community fairs and whatnot, but not in an emergency situation. I followed an ambulance in which my mother was being transported a couple years ago. That was pretty scary. The whole time, I was clutching a medal of JPII and praying for Mom's healthy. Scary. No likey.
10. Uncertainty is a sign of humility, and humility is just the ability or the willingness to learn.
Is there any uncertainty in your life at the present time? In the past?

I live in constant uncertainty. Constant! It's a strange thing to be feel confident and uncertain at the same time. I'm certainly not complaining, though.

~Whoosh!

Blessed Are They...

2011-01-30T22:33:00.001-08:00

Today at Mass, the Bishop delivered a homily about the Beatitudes, which was featured in today's Gospel reading.

He made a statement (paraphrased): 'In the history of human communication, no truer words have been spoken about Christian holiness.'

While I agree with the Bishop that no truer words have been spoken in all of human communication, a thought jumped into my head just after he said the 'Christian holiness' part. I thought: this is about HUMAN holiness.

Bottom line is this:

....even if you don't believe in God, Jesus, afterlife, Heaven, anything 'religious' or 'spiritual', you at least believe in doing good things. You at least believe that everyone deserves goodness.

It just so happens that *I* call this motivation to be good "God". What do YOU call it?

Taking Something For Granted?

2011-01-30T20:51:00.000-08:00

NOT Psychology

I'm at UTD trying to read chapter five in my text book. Not much is motivating me (obviously -- look what I'm doing!).

I've found that it's easier for me to come to the school library to have some uninterrupted reading time, but I've also noticed that in my time here, my mind is very sinuous and scattered. Part of is the time of day I'm usually here -- night time. I'm tired, spent. I don't want to be studying. I would much rather be home watching television, playing Wii, cleaning house -- anything except study!

I have issues with reading comprehension. I've not been formally diagnosed, but I can tell after some exposure to the testing process, and from my habits and test scores in college, that this is a real issue for me. With that said, reading for one class is like a part time job! It takes me a ridiculous amount of time to (1) get motivated to read, (2) sit still long enough to read [without going to sleep], (3) read, (4) understand what I've read.

At home, my family interrupts me. It's not intentional or with malicious intent; it just happens. If they aren't interrupting me, then I'm interrupting myself. I will find all sorts of internet distractions, The King (bed) distractions, TV distractions, and so on -- you get the idea. So, this isolation in an institution dedicated for knowledge building and minimal intrusion is ideal.

Once the Act of Congress has been passed, and the planets, moon, sun and stars have been perfectly aligned in such a manner that I sit and read tonight, I'm derailed by a thought: what if I'm not taking this seriously enough?

And then I think: Am I taking for granted the fact that I already have a pretty good-paying job? Am I neglecting my studies because at the core of my financial and family life, I really don't NEED to do this?

Going back to school was intended to complete my degree so I could ultimately teach. I want to be home when my kids are home and be off more. Going back to school was also intended to be on the principle of finishing the damn degree! Going back to school was also mildly driven by a couple of different ideals.

Firstly, I like the idea of My Kids valuing education more than I have (at least as it appears on paper). If both My Husband and I have college degrees, they could look up to us, admire us, and achieve a certain level of intrinsic and/or extrinsic success. An expectation would be set that they should aspire to complete college, too.

Also, I've been known to not finish what I start. I've been trying hard to finish what I start. So, I'm trying to finish what I started back in 1989.

But, sitting here tonight, kind of glossing over the text that's discussing Bowlby's theories of attachment, I became frustrated.

How come I'm not making note cards to study the different theorists and their theories? Why aren't I taking it more seriously? Why am I not reading the information boxes in the pages of this text book? Why aren't I jotting notes in class or highlighting words as I read them? How come I'm not doing enough? And what is enough? Do I feel like I'll pass the test based on some wordy answers? (I can't because it's a bubble test and I'm horrible at bubble tests! They are my education nemesis!)

I have a brief paper due weekly. I'm enjoying that part immensely. I have to read these mythological claims about child-rearing and discuss some aspect of them, usually in conjunction with what's in the text book. It's writing. I like writing, and for the most part, I can do enough to get by.

...to get by.

Why would I settle for that? How can I expect my children to achieve and have passion for education, learning and the process of cognitive, critical thinking if *I* am merely doing enough to get by?

Now the question remains: how do I change my faulted thinking and actions?

*yawn*

I'll sleep on it....

*wink*

January 28, 1986

2011-01-28T14:38:00.001-08:00

I subscribe to a photo blog from the Boston Globe. It's wonderful -- you should do it too!

Today's blog honors the fallen of the Challenger mission, focusing on Christa McAulliffe, that ended in fiery fright on this day 25 years ago. *sobering*

As I was looking through the pictures and reading some of the captions, my body began to tingle. Then, a thought occurred to me:

We are watching the final moments of a woman (and crew) who is about to die.

Her life was captured on camera, as was her death. In today's world, with the internet pushing information so quickly, it's hard to imagine that back then, it was a reality show of sorts. I intend no disrespect, nor do I mean to diminish the event in any way. But it's a good context in which to relate the event.

What a beautiful life she had. She shared it with all of us. Teaching is one of those shovedundertherug professions. Through time, the value of a teacher has been devalued, which is a shame. Krista shared her life with children and their families in a classroom until, one day, she shared it with you and me.

I hope you'll take some time to reflect on the importance of a teacher, specifically the impact that Krista had on your life. I hope, too, that you'll find away to bolster a teacher.

Lastly, discern on the fact that the 1986 event wasn't only about the life and death of a teacher. It was a true story about how an every person can achieve their potential and beyond. It's about discovering those unknown frontiers in both our universe, and our inner-selves.

Dare to dream and live it. Take the risk.

40

2011-01-27T11:35:00.001-08:00

Jackie at Forty

It's here!

I'm even wearing a dress!

Forty has arrived in style. Not the best picture, but it's me. I'm not the best me...yet!

Thank you so much to all of you who read and offer a scampering thought or smile. Even if you're rolling your eyes and spouting off something nasty, thank you for stopping in and taking some time to be FORTY with me. If you are on Facebook or Twitter with me, thank you, too, for letting me be me and being you with me, even if we've only seen slices and slivers like a voyeur peeking in on something fun and yummy.

Just past midnight, I was tweeted lots of birthday love. To that P1 group on Twitter in #the2300, good fun, people who love 1310 The Ticket (SPORRRRTS! and all that it implies...). Goodgod fun. I love and am most flattered that The Unticket gave me a shout out for my birthday! I feel famous now!!

And those Duran Duran fans and community of folks that following me, I'm so smiley because of the "wise on a birthday party....". I had hoped John Taylor and Simon LeBon would've "twished" me a Happy Birthday, but no luck (I can only have so much, right?). There are rumors of some tweet-ups in both the P1 and D2 communities. I'd love to see that come to light and be in attendance!

So then I went to sleep for a few hours....

My post-sleep day started with My Husband saying, "You're forbidden to get out of bed" (which was kinda hot!). Shortly thereafter, I was greeted with sleepy, smiling faces wishing me happy birthday as breakfast in bed was served: scrambled eggs, toast, clementines and orange juice. My Eldest made the meal! So proud of her (AND her all A progress report -- first time ever!)!

I then opened up several cards from my family - some musical and silly (chocolate, chocolate, chocolate! I have chocolate and you do not!) - some sappy and filled with a lil sum-sum to spend at the Duran Duran concert next week (thanks, Mom!). I received some fun gifts - I'll share them with you in a later post.

Later, at lunch, I met work friends for lunch at Yucatan Taco Stand where I was treated to awesome tacos and beverages from Theo's Human and HRH KP. It was fun to see people who use to work with me mixed with people who still do work with me. I treasure them all and feel very lucky to have them all as friends (even if all but HRH KP are in their mere 20's! haha). Shop-talk, a little chisme (gotta represent El Paso raza!), Girl Talk, driving to Nebraska (inside joke), another meet-up in not-Nebraska all topics of discussion.

I've been flooded with texts, calls and e-mail(s?) from co-workers, friends and family all day. I'm feeling ohsoloved and I'm truly beside myself in humility and happiness. I can't begin to thank you enough....

Most of all, I want to thank My Mom who said YES to God. I love you, Mom. Thank you for loving me, too.

40 4 40: WW: Steven Tyler

2011-01-26T13:19:00.001-08:00

Today we picked Steven Tyler. Here's Wednesday Wickedness!

1. And the things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those that got there first.

When was the last time that you wanted to do something, but it was all done before you got there?

*laughing SO.HARD.* This is kind of the story of my life....Oh the litany!

2. As good as I am, I'm nothing without my band.

Do you feel there is anyone you could not do without?

Oh absolutely! There's no way I could live my life alone. God created Eve so that Adam would not be alone, so why would I think I can manage this life alone?! Sure, there are times that isolation and withdrawal are necessary. The bottom line is, I could not live this life without my family and friends.

Interesting, though, I have given much though and continue to ponder on the notion that God is all I need. If I'm a believer, He will sustain me. It's difficult for my brain to grasp that concept. Dear God: That last statement is not an invitation for us to try that concept out, okay? Love, Jackie.

3. Back then it was nothing like today. So you'd go to the bowling alley. We bowled and you could be in the back and you could make out, you know? And you know how hot it was to make out.

When you were young and innocent, what place did you make out?

Movie theaters, Scenic Drive, McKelligon Canyon, Delta Chi parties (thanks to all those lenient, er, cool parents!), public park, at the museum --- uhhh, hi mom. :)

4. Drugs will get you out of your own way, but we lived it, and that's dangerous. It can actually turn around on itself and steal your soul, and that's what happened.

Were you ever tempted by something that could “steal your soul”?

Yes. I have an addictive personality (we all do some degree....). I am guilty of poor judgment, secrets, lies, over-dependency on something unhealthy to me and those around me. I lack self-discipline and my controlling tendencies tend to make it difficult for me to "let go and let God", "take it one day at a time", "fake it till I make it".

5. Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes this is what awakens us.

How do you deal with sorrow?

When my father passed away, shortly thereafter, my church had a Grief Recovery group. I had already studied the grieving process academically to some degree, but personal experience really makes textbook stuff settle into the soul with permanence. So, I elected to participate in the class, and of course, deepened my knowledge. One thing that I learned in that series of meetings is something a textbook didn't teach me: allow yourself to grieve all losses, not just the physical death of a person.

This opened my eyes to how grief is in our daily lives from job changes, friendships, even lifestyle changes. Grief and sorrow exists so that we can feel the exultation of joy and revel in the plethora!

So, how do I deal with sorrow? I thank God for it.

6. Fake it until you make it.

Did you ever have dreams of making it in showbiz in some capacity?

Oh! Look! There's that phrase! I didn't even read the questions ahead of time before I started answering them. *weird*

I had dreams long ago of being famous. I suppose every little girl does. The stage actress in me still gets so exhilarated by attending a live play or musical, and when I'm sitting there, my mind always scampers back to that time in my life that I was offered a full scholarship to AMDA but couldn't accept. It's a bittersweet experience each time -- never gets easier.

7. Humility is really important because it keeps you fresh and new.

What keeps you fresh and new?

Humility.

(See what I did there... *laughing*)

8. I don't mind being a grandfather.

If you are a grandparent, do you at first “mind it”? If you aren't, how do you think that you would feel about it?

I'm not a grandparent, nor am I looking forward to being one -- yet.

9. I grew up in New Hampshire. My closest neighbor was a mile away. The deer and the raccoons were my friends. So I would spend time walking through the woods, looking for the most beautiful tropical thing that can survive the winter in the woods in New Hampshire.

Do you enjoy winter where you live?

Being born in Alaska in January does not lend itself to automatic love of winter and cold weather. Growing up mostly in Texas, however, does. I don't remember winters in Germany since I was only a toddler when I lived there, and most of our other stations were in Texas, Alabama and Hawaii. In Alabama, I was there during the hot months, and we were there only six months total, so yeah, I haven't had much winter experience.

I like the winters in El Paso and Dallas. There's occasional snow that melts quickly, the temperatures are cold (but I would like them to be a wee bit colder to kill off allergens and bugs).

10. I have to get inspired by something that touches my soul, or rocks my soul.

What rocks your soul?

Good music, an eloquent set of words careful strung together to illicit a heart tug, poetry, my children - especially their laughter, God, a good speech, a warm and bubbly bath, candle light, fresh smells, fingers in my hair, skin-to-skin contact, fellowship, connecting with people..... the list goes on forever.

40 4 40: Wonder Woman + MAC Makeup = WANT!

2011-01-23T12:24:00.000-08:00

40 4 40: Super Bowl Chat

2011-01-22T13:05:00.000-08:00

So the Super Bowl is coming to North Texas.

Yes -- NORTH TEXAS.

Not Arlington. Not Dallas. NORTH TEXAS.

The Packers and the Steelers are on their way to the Death Star. And I'm going to be amongst it all!

Months ago, I asked for February 2nd through the 7th off so I could just go park my happy ass in the middle of the Super Bowl Fever, no matter the teams. Even if I had no loyalties, even if I detested who was in it, I wanted to be a part of the action.

Wish me luck and fun!

GO PACK GO

WW: Ricky Gervais (This Should Be Good, No?)

2011-01-19T07:36:00.000-08:00

Today we picked Ricky Gervais. Here's Wednesday Wickedness!

1. “Why by a book when you can join a library.”
When was your last trip to a library?

Over the weekend, I went to the UTD Library (McDermott Library). It's my new favorite one. I frequent the library with my kids. Highland Park has an impressive one, I must say.

2. “People see me in the suit and they know I'm not fooling anyone, they know I'm rock and roll through and through.”
Does your attire properly represent you?

Hmmm -- this is a good question. I like it!

Yes, my attire properly represents me. If you know/see me, do you agree? Feel free to offer feedback on why or why not.

3. “I'm from a little place called England ... We used to run the world before you.”
Do you feel the United States really runs the world?

Yes.

4. “No one grows up saying 'I hope I work in an office one day?' And that fascinated me. People from 16 to 65 are just thrown together and that is a tantalizing mix.”
When was the last time that you worked in an office like that?

I currently do. Strangely, I didn't watch The Office until just recently. I'll catch an episode here and there and am always entertained. I would like to see more of the British version of it. I don't think it'll stay afloat without Steve.

5. “Where there's a will-there's a relative!”
Do you have a will? If yes, have you ever changed it?

Yes, I have a will, and yes, it's been changed according to changes in family status (kids, more kids, etc.).

6. "When I see a toreador in a bullfight getting gored I think: `Good, you shouldn`t be in there`. What is the pleasure in seeing an animal speared to death? It`s the same with fox hunting. They`re just psychopaths.”
How do you feel about bull fighting and hunting?

Growing up along the U.S.-Mexico border, as well as being a meat-eating Texan who has family in the cattle business, you can already guess I'm 'meh' about this subject. I'm not overly grossed out or offended by a bull dying in any fashion, or animals in general. Animals serve a function and are here for a reason. You and I might disagree as to what a "good" reasons is, but undeniably, they are meant for use of some sort. Their purpose on Earth is service, not just to just exist. Entertainment might not be a "good" purpose, but it's one nonetheless.

I don't see the appeal in the thrill of the hunt, either, but again, I am not opposed to it generally speaking. If there are animals on that are Endangered, poached, or otherwise protected, I'm all for keeping them off limits. I've never shot a gun or rifle, I've never been out in the wild preying on game, so I have a limited scope from which to speak. I'm perfectly willing to try it all, though!

I have always thought bullfighting is elegant entertainment at best. Learning what happens prior to the "fight", my appreciation has depreciated, yet I love to look at a well-dressed toreador (it's a double whammy for me: Latin man + man in uniform. Yum!). There's something about the commanding pride, the dance, the art to it all that allures me. At worst, if I were to strip that romaticism away, I wouldn't be entertained at all. And since the bulls are physically compromised prior to entering the arena, there is a level of stupidity to the whole pomp and circumstance of it. There's very little danger involved, so when the toreador gets prodded, it's just him being careless.

It's cute that Ricky is so compassionate, though. It's a different side to his otherwise seemingly abraisive TV-persona affect.

Random side note about Ricky Gervais/Awards Hosting: I had the opportunity to watch him on the Piers Morgan Show the other night and was pleasantly surprised by him. The bits of stuff on that recent award show he hosted I thought were pretty clever. I have no doubt Ricky would find a laugh or seven being the subject of similar roasting.

7. “Money gives me the creeps and mildly embarrasses me. I get paid too much anyway.”
Have you ever thought that you were over paid for a job?

I can't say I've ever thought this. The thought I *have* had is, "wow, I can't believe I'm making this much money with no degree!".

8. “I hate lateness. I hate people who are late. There is no excuse for turning up late for anything. I`ve never been late for anything in my life. I was actually born a week premature, because I wanted to be early for my own birth.”
Are you usually on time for things?

Oh gosh, no! Ricky hates me already and he doesn't even know me! I'm not a punctual person. If I happen to be on time for something, it's sheer accident and/or grace! Man's time is not MY time. Ha!

9. “I have plenty of pet hates. I can`t stand people scraping their plate or slurping their soup. I can`t stand waiting in lines. I hate people talking inanely about the Lord Of The Rings. I hate people whistling. But I`m not like this because I`m famous. I`ve always been a grumpy bastard.”
What are your “pet hates”?

Stupidity. Shows like "Jackass" and some clips from "America's Funniest Videos" are pure ascinine and I can't stand that kind of behavior. When technology or my car isn't working properly, I'm very impatient and intolerant. All things pertaining to Trusts and Trust Agreements make me wonky and give me tiredhead. Seriously they are too complicated. People are too controlling after their own death!

That's plenty....for now. :)

10. “I don`t like all this stupid Gollum begat Wobblo and the Oompa Loompas and...Oh Jesus Christ! There was too much "Oh, God, here come the gloodloys..." Christ Almighty, what are they talking about!?”
Are you a fan of “Lord of the Rings”?

Uhm, no.

Kthnxbye!

WW: Kurt Cobain

2011-01-12T21:40:00.000-08:00

Today we picked Kurt Cobain. Here's Wednesday Wickedness!

1. "A friend is nothing but a known enemy."

Have you ever had a “friend” that you discovered was really an enemy?

Yes. Haven't we all?

2. "Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with with your self esteem."

What is the strongest drug (legal or otherwise) that you have taken?

Booze. I haven't tried anything illegal. I rarely drink anymore, especially publicly.

3. "I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then a classic case of divorce really affected me."

Has a divorce (yours or your parents) really impacted your life?

When I first read this question, my first impulse was to say, "No. My parents were never divorced."

As I thought further, I wonder if, indirectly, divorce HAS impacted my life. My mom was married twice before she met my father. She has three sons between her first two husbands, making the sons all my half-brothers (though I don't think of them specifically with that label; they are all my brothers.). My father was married once before marrying my mom, but had no children from that first marriage. (If you haven't figured it out yet, I am the only biological child~only daughter of my mom's four kids~baby of the family~between my mom and dad.)

Being as my parents were both divorced prior to meeting each other, there's some impact in that there's, in today's terms, a 'blended family'. My two older brothers never lived with us; they were grown men by the time I was born. I have a brother who is three years older than I, and we grew up together in the same house-hold.

Without going into essay format, it's sufficient to acknowledge that the 'classic case of divorce' did affect me.

4. "I really haven't had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I'd rather tell a story about somebody else."

What's the most exciting thing that you've ever done?

Flying in a Cessna was pretty kick-ass, as was taking a post-hurricane helicopter ride to an offshore rig in the Gulf of Mexico. Seeing certain concerts (Duran Duran, U2, etc.) are always exciting, especially when I get to see them in venues and cities that are not my hometown.

Moving from El Paso to Dallas was pretty exciting, too.

Having kids? Yep -- pretty cool ride.

I've had several exciting moments. Truth is, anything can be exciting if you let it be.

5. "I was looking for something a lot heavier, yet melodic at the same time. Something different from heavy metal, a different attitude."

Is there a heavy metal band that you are a fan of, or were a fan of at that time?

I resisted the grunge movement. I was pretty fresh out of high school, still into Duran Duran but had started listening to Bon Jovi and some of the glam hair bands. The one grunge band I liked then and still do like is Pearl Jam. I wasn't ever a fan of Kurt & Co.

6. "I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."

Do people generally like you?

Well?! Do you?! (Don't answer that!)

7. "I'm too busy acting like I'm not Naive. I've seen it all, I was here first."

Are you naïve at all?

Oh yes. I wear it proudly!

8. "I've always had a problem with the average macho man - they've always been a threat to me."

Does a certain type of person scare you?

"Scare" me? Of course I'd be afraid of someone holding a knife or weapon to me threatening my life or the lives of my children!

If we're talking "intimidated", no, there's not a certain "type" but there are traits that intimidate me. Some women with whom I've worked have intimidated me, but mostly because I gave them that power, not because their personalities were intimidating. I was intimidate by my perception of their lifestyle and the confidence they exude -- characteristics that at the time I didn't see in myself. I've also been a little intimidated by strongly opinionated people, those who are quick to anger/rage. I am non-confrontational and seek peace, so I tend to cower down to people who are abrasive.

Overall, though, I see most people at my same eye level. I guess it's a sign of growing older?

9. "If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first."

Do you mind a friend who asks for favors?

No, I don't mind when a friend asks me a favor. Just don't take me for granted.

10. "The worst crime is faking it."

Do you ever “fake it” for approval?

Absolutely. I've discussed this before. It's a difficult thing for me -- seeking intrinsic approval/validation. I'm learning, though. In the end, the ultimate approval comes from Above.

40 4 40: 17 - Duran Duran to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Petition

2011-01-04T07:51:00.000-08:00

I'm not certain because I don't read every word with the proverbial fine-toothed comb, but Duran Duran isn't crazy about the idea of being inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (if I'm wrong, I know you'll let me know).

In any case, here's a nifty website that has a petition to sign in order to get the fabooshy boys inducted.

Please check it out!

40 4 40: 16 - Another ABC's of Me

2011-01-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

[A] - AVAILABLE? For what exactly?
[B] - BIRTHDAY MONTH? January - Aquarius sort
[C] -CRUSH ON ANYONE? Always. Every day. I also have a penchant for Orange Crush (mixed with Maker's Mark. That'd be a Sundress. You're welcome.)
[D] - DRINK YOU LAST HAD? Sundress :)
[E] - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: I have very short list, but always at the top is God.
[F] - FAVORITE COLOUR(S): blue. All shades.
G] - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Bears. Bite off their heads!!
[H]- HOMETOWN: Born in Fairbanks, Alaska; Dallas is my current place of living/hometown, but I think I'd call El Paso, Texas as my hometown. Viva la raza!
[I]- INSTRUMENT: not yet. I'm considering strongly the harp. Yes, you read that right.
[J] - JUGGLE: as in balls? um. no. But schedule, kids, etc., yes, though I'm not good at it yet....
[K] - KARAOKE: Love to watch it for sure! And I've been tricked on stage for a 4 Non-Blondes Duet. I'm pretty sure those poor patrons who listended to me "sing" are still in the fetal position!
[L] - LONGEST CAR RIDE:Alaska to Texas. Yep.
[M] - MOST MISSED MEMORY: El Paso sunsets and the stars of the wide-open Texas night sky
[N] - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: three
[O] - ONE WISH: to be free of food obsession
[P] - PERSON WHO CALLED YOU LAST: My mom
[Q]- QUITTER: Anyone who is not willing to try to be better tomorrow than they were today.
[S] SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Bedroom Toys by Duran Duran
[T] - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 7 ayem
[U] - UNDERWEAR: Yes, I possess underwear of all types. Not sure what you're curious about here....
[V] - VEGETABLES: Learned to like broccoli! Yay me! I like them, but don't eat nearly enough of them
[W] - WORST HABIT: eating when bored or emotional
[X] - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: teeth
[Y] - YOUR NUMBER OF FRIENDS ON MYSPACE/FACEBOOK/TWITTER: a lotlot (thanks be to God!)
[Z] ZODIAC SIGN: see [A]

~Whoosh~

40 4 40: 15 - Epiphany

2011-01-02T21:01:00.001-08:00

The Star.

Go toward The Star.

BE a Star.

The Kings.

Three kings travel to The Star.

BE a King.

We are kings, you know.

We seek the Same Star.

We carry in ourselves rare gifts.

Bring people to The Star.

Illuminate.

Jesus is The Star.

Though the travels far, He is our destiny.

Epiphany.

(no, this isn't meant to be a poem)

40 4 40: 14 - New Year's Eve & Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown

2011-01-01T21:10:00.000-08:00

Linus has it right, doesn't he?

Today, My Family and I met another family to go see the ICE! exhibit at the Gaylord Texan: Merry Christmas Charlie Brown. Nine degrees, blue parkas, an ice slide (that wasn't as slickery as you'd think it should be), and an AMAZING creation, we enjoyed a *great* afternoon with some of my favorite people on Earth.

Following a few hours of rest, it was Dallas Stars v. Vancouver Canucks (fucking Sedins!!). I'm liking the yearly "tradition" of going to the New Year's Eve hockey game. I hope My Husband & I keep doing that, even if we don't go to Big D NYE afterward. The Stars lost, but we sat with some funny Vancouver natives who left quite happy!

Speaking of Big D NYE, it was so fun, however, the music wasn't as good this year until the last hour, and our traffic issue coming home was borderline unbearable. God Bless My Husband who doesn't like crowds or traffic -- he stuck it out WITHOUT COMPLAINT -- the whole night. We started our trip home at 12:45 and didn't come in the door until 3:38. Yep. Three hours later. Sadly, I read there was a fatality that backed up traffic on the highway for over five hours. The accident happened at 11:15 p.m.

I'm wishing you and yours the most fruitful 2011! Thank you for being a part of my 2010 & I'm looking forward to more me and you.

~Whoosh BIG D NYE-style!

40 4 40: 13 - Organic Foods, Lifestyle Choices and Effectuating Change

2010-12-30T13:15:00.000-08:00

Within the last two years, I've been (sloppily, slowly) making a lifestyle change in the food department to eat more cleanly, consuming more purely raw foods, geared specifically away from gluten and its by-products (i.e. vinegar), because I was diagnosed with a gluten intolerance (non-Celiacs). Just before my awareness of gluten issues in my life, I had been making the changes away from things that contained trans-fats and high fructose corn syrup (HFCS).

With the help of a holistic specialist, I went on a month-long cleanse, two weeks of it were nothing but juices. I did it specifically to break a sugar addiction (it worked for a while....), and to lead a healthier lifestyle in general. I am a little fearful of getting cancer at a too-young age since it's so rampant in my family. Also, at the time, I suspected I was pre-menopausal. My mother entered menopause at age 39. I was 38 at the time. It wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Additionally, I was having chronic migraines, five out of seven days a week. My stomach was upset often, I was moody, crabby, irritable, and sleepy all the time. I suffered from bouts of sleeplessness.

I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to feel like a slug just barely surviving life. I knew there had to be more. I knew I had to take responsibility and action for my own health.

With a heightened awareness of food, comes several frustrations. Firstly, and most obviously probably, is the learning curve of what ingredients are safe to eat, and which aren't. Generally speaking, prepared & processed food are horribly unhealthy for a person's body.

I started shopping at grocery stores that specialize in organic foods and supply foods that are made to tailor to the health-conscious and/or allergy-burdened lifestyles.

It would be easy to blame convenience for our rising health issues concerning obesity, cancer, heart disease. It's easy to look to the food industry and say, "you make the food we buy, so it's your fault". It's easy to blame Starbucks, McDonald's, Chick-Fil-A and all the drive-through places: "If you'd make healthier foods and offer them, we'd be healthier as a society".

We have only to blame ourselves.

Certainly there is truth to pure foods being to expensive. Certainly there is truth that fast food restaurants such as McDonald's offer a more cost-efficient meal to a family. Still, it's a personal choice.

We have the power of choice. We have the freedom of choice.

Robyn has several good articles on her website in which she offers buying organically on a budget, various nutritional information articles (i.e. HCFS), and she provides very good information via Twitter.

Q: What did your research reveal about the cost of food and food production?
A:Prior to unearthing all of this information, I was in the camp that thought that organic food was a lifestyle choice of the rich and famous or a hippie movement. And it completely bothered me that it cost so much. And in all candour, when we met the management teams of these companies when I was a food industry analyst, I ignorantly dismissed their work as a profitable marketing niche.

But as I began to learn more, I realized that our taxpayer dollars are being used to support farmers that grow crops with chemicals, while farmers that grow crops without the use of synthetic ingredients are charged a fee to prove that their crops are free of these ingredients, then charged a fee to label these crops as having adhered to this higher standard, and at the same time, are not offered the same crop insurance and marketing assistance programs. In other words, the way the food production cost structure is set up now, it is cheaper to produce food using chemicals than without them. That means it’s also cheaper to buy foods made with chemicals.

Or is it? Products made with synthetic chemicals have hidden costs that affect all of us—these externalized costs are called ag “externalities,” and they include damage and the chemical contamination of water sources, soil resources, and wildlife and ecosystem biodiversity, as well as damage to human health from such things as exposure to pesticides. No studies have been done to assess what the cumulative impact of all of these toxins and their synergistic toxicity are having on the health of our families and environment.

With the use of antibiotics, synthetic growth hormones, pesticides, and artificial colors and dyes, some of the greatest threats to our health aren’t actually found in our DNA, but in our food supply. So, while we only spend 9 cents of every dollar on food, we spend 16 cents of every dollar managing chronic disease. On the other hand, if we choose to invest in organic products and those produced without the use of these synthetic ingredients, we are not only investing in our health, by reducing their families’ exposure to these toxins and the health risks that they might present, which can pay health dividends for a lifetime, but we are also paying the true cost of food rather than the artificially reduced prices of conventional food enabled by the federal allocation of taxpayer resources.

Choose to not be lazy. Choose to think critically. Choose to be active in the food revolution. Choose to invest time and effort into food preparation. Get involved locally and nationally to effectuate changes in U.S. food manufacturing practices.

Lastly, hear this, please: This blog post and I are not intending to be judgmental. My intent is to educate (mostly myself, haha!). I readily admit that I still eat chocolate, drink soda sometimes, love a good hamburger at Twisted Root. I will go through times where I'm eating way too much gluten (thanks Thanksgiving and Christmas)! I kind of take it for granted that my allergy isn't life or death. I need to commit to being better. And when I read articles like Robyn O'Brien's, I get re-inspired.

Here are a couple of GMO Twitter feeds to which I subscribe (genetically modified foods). I don't read everything that's tweeted, nor do I preach this as gospel. Just critically read what you do read.

Non GMO Project

GMO Journal

Food Alliance

There are LOADS of others....click around and learn more! Then ACT! Inspire ME to do the same. :)

~Whoosh!

40 4 40: 12 - WW: Mark Twain

2010-12-29T17:38:00.000-08:00

1. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Do you let yourself off the hook easily?

Sometimes I do, mostly I don't. Just depends on how much PR work and damage control might need to be performed. :P

2. A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Do you think everyone lies?

Yes, I do. Everyone.

3. A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

What was the last thing that you had to learn the hard way?

I live my entire life learning the hard way....ask my mom & my husband!

4. A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

What types of things do you read?

Biographies, autobiographies, true crime, Patricia Cornwell novels (Kay Scarpetta), some religious things. I have a couple of daily spiritual readings I peek at, and I like to read magazines such as Parenting, Psychology Today and some of the house/travel genre.

I'd like to read more often, but my attention span is so short and when I settle in to read, I fall asleep pretty quickly. It took me over a year to read Eat, Pray, Love.

5. A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

Have you ever thought about something that did not exist and later it was invented?

No, I haven't, BUT I *do* have a couple ideas right now. Anyone want to be the business side of this creative mind?

6. Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

How well do you think that you observe people?

I vacillate between being overly observant to oblivious.

7. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

Have you ever used humor to diffuse a difficult situation?

Absolutely, and there's a fine line between being disrespectful and adding levity.

8. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

How important is your age to you? Do you ever lie about it or refuse to reveal it?

Age is important to me, but I agree that the boundaries of age are starting to stretch. In the past, a person who is forty, fifty, sixty years is considered older, but there's a LOT of youth in these ages ranges anymore.

I am about to turn 40 (30 days or so, but who is counting?), and it's one of those milestone ages where people expect that I'm dreading it. Truly, I'm not dreading it at all -- in fact, I'm rather looking forward to it.

I feel old when I hear about my friends from high school who have kids who are in college, or are grandparents already.

9. All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

How important do you think confidence is? Are you confident?

Confidence & lack of it is *extremely* important in all things. Again, there's a fine line to walk -- the line of being cocky vs. confident.

People tell me they feel confidence from me, and I suppose, for the most part I am. There are, of course, arenas in which I lack it. I find where I lack confidence are the areas that also lack discipline, commitment, obedience. Enter in: learning the hard way and letting myself off the hook. :)

10. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Do you do everything you should to be healthy?

Absolutely not! I am evolving, though, so wish me luck! (I let myself off the hook too much in the health department!)

40 4 40: 11 - Mademoiselle

2010-12-28T09:42:00.000-08:00

I have become enraptured with the scent that can be found in this bottle....

I was walking through Nordstrom's around Christmas and spritzed some at the base of my neck between my collar bones. All day long, I was distracted by it. I loved it so much I wanted to seduce myself

40 4 40: 10 - Music Minute: Moonlight Sonata

2010-12-27T14:23:00.000-08:00

....because it's my favorite piece of classical music....

(You get two for the price of one!)

40 4 40: 9 - Isn't He Handsome?

2010-12-26T20:26:00.000-08:00

I'm smiling on the inside, I swear!

It's the day after Christmas and the gifts keep coming!

My Husband and I surprised the kids with a trip to the local animal adoption shelter. My Little One picked this guy, and he's quite fond of her.

Such a handsome boxer mix! Everyone who has seen him so far asks, "is he a pit mix?", and I keep correcting them: "BOXER mix!". (Myeah -- I see the pit, too.)

40 4 40: 8 - Jesus is Born

2010-12-25T08:44:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, everyone.

40 4 40: 7 - Christmas Eve Wow

2010-12-24T20:46:00.000-08:00

I attended Mass at 4:00 today because My Eldest was singing in the church choir at that time (we typically attend midnight Mass). The community caroled while we waited for Mass to start, and of course, the whole service was filled with traditional songs. This night, the parish community was treated to the not-so-traditional "The Rocking Carol". (It's written in the perspective from the children of Bethlehem when Jesus was born. The children wanted to rock Jesus. Isn't that so sweet? *melt*)

There is *nothing* like the angelic voices of children singing.

I cried.

My Little One looked over to me during song and noticed I was crying. I had quit singing and closed my eyes to just be in the moment...to soak up the wonder and awe of the coming of Jesus....to hear it in the voices of children and fellow believers. I was consumed by the moment and was nearly buckled to my knees. And, it was at this time, at the peak of my humbled wonder, that My Little One put her tender hand on my face and asked me why I was crying.

"Don't worry, love, they are happy tears."

She started tearing up, too.

She hugged me with her fair-skinned delicate arms and said, "I'm crying happy tears, too, mama".

Wow.

Just... wow.

The Love. The Love present in that moment -- wow.

We enjoyed the rest of Mass, filled with the anticipation of the coming of Christ and all that it promises. My Eldest did superbly and I am a proud, proud mother.

40 4 40: 6 - Wonder Woman Converse (WANT!)

2010-12-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

Yes, you read the title right. Wonder Woman. Converse. As in SHOES!

To get your own, order here.

40 4 40: 5 - Duran Duran Faves

2010-12-22T21:44:00.000-08:00

In anticipation of the new album "All You Need Is Now" coming out on December 21st, I've been swimming in Duran Duran media. After all these years, I still find Mr. LeBon to be quite yummy. As of late, he's been wearing a beard, and it's rather sexyhot. I typically do not like facial hair, but he looks simply edible.

I've been a fan of Simon with dark hair for a long time. And his hair shortshort like in the "Serious" video has me hormonal like a 15 year old girl....

Another of my ohsofavorite songs that no one except die-hard fans know about is this gem of lyrical poetry:

"Perfect Day" - originally by Lou Reed - is one of Duran Duran's best covers (and videos) ever:

Lastly, funkalicious, dance-able and inyourFAYCEe is "White Lines":

YES, I'm excited about the new single, the new album and Simon sporting the dark hair (and a full beard!) again. *swoon*

So, tell me. What's YOUR favorite Duran Duran song? (And don't feed me some b.s. about not liking them or they're gay. You know your danced - or at the very least tapped your foot - to them somewhere along the way. Don't be skeert. OWN IT!)

40 4 40: 4 - Some Duran Duran for Christmas?

2010-12-21T10:04:00.000-08:00

...I have failed at commitment (again). I owe you (myself) several blogs. I will catch them all up and make you (me) ohsohappy.

In the meantime, click on this iTunes link and give a gift to yourself and/or others. You'll be a more complete person for doing so. And Santa will thank you. As will I.

In the words of half my blog inspiration...

~whoosh!

40 4 40: 3 - O Holy Night

2010-12-21T08:49:00.000-08:00

"O Holy Night" is my favorite Christmas song.

A close second is "We Three Kings of Orient Are".

Lastly, the exquisite lullaby "Away In A Manger", I could listen to over and over....

Enjoy the new music on the page.

40 4 40: 2 - Food Favorites

2010-12-20T20:28:00.000-08:00

Today's 40 4 40 is about my favorite combinations, specific to that which is ingested and legal:

Peanut butter & chocolate
Raspberry & dark chocolate
Popcorn and cherry Coca Cola
Old Grand Dad and Coca Cola
Coconut & chocolate
Piña colada flavored Layla Farms drinkable yogurt drizzled on Red Rock chocolate chip granola
Crunch peanut butter & strawberry jelly on a spoon at the same time
Grilled cheese sandwiches with chicken noodle soup
Tortilla chips & guacamole
Fritos & bean dip
Ranch dressing, sautéed mushrooms, mozzarella cheese on a well done burger with potato bread
Guacamole and tortilla chips
Sunflower seeds on salad (or a baked potato)
Do-Si-Dos and chocolate milk (kinda goes with the first on the list)
Hot lemon tea with honey
Pepperoni, mushrooms, sausage and onions on thin crust pizza
Spaghetti with meatballs
Turkey on the same fork with my cranberry sauce

There are tons more, of course.

~Bon Appétit~

40 4 40: 1 - Comet

2010-12-19T15:28:00.000-08:00

My 40th birthday is quickly approaching. I'm welcoming it with a loving embrace and a smile. WTF is wrong with me?! haha!

Admittedly, I'm sort of resigned to "aging", but then there's a tinge of me that isn't. Truthfully, I'm more bothered that I have that tinge than by the aging itself. I suppose it might be the natural grief process of realizing I'll never achieve that potential that everyone but me knew about, and I'll never have that wild youth I so often daydream about, all that globetrotting I had envisioned, and my body isn't in the shape I thought it would be in at this age. All in all, those are some heavy disappointments in my mind.

However, there's more to me than my shape, my wiley, well-travelled youth and being that doctor, teacher, big screen star. I am humbled by all the OTHER things I am at almost-40. I'm amazed at all that I've done by now.

So, to honor being forty, I'm going to do a serial post of forty things about my forty years. These things might be inspirational, spiritual, insightful, jokes, trivia about me, recipes, a lil ditty... You get the idea.

Today -- a big announcement:

I've been accepted to the University of Texas at Dallas, home of the Fighting ..... Comets?

Okay, so Comets don't fight. But they are cool. (Right?) Therefore *I* am cool. (Right?!)

I *will* graduate from this school. And it'll be with a real degree. And the plan is to graduate from this school BEFORE My Eldest graduates high school. That gives me eight years.

What's eight more years?

~Whoosh~