Love and Peace

I've been going through a lot of soul searching. I've arrived at a pretty basic conclusion. I just want to love and be loved.

People make it complicated.

*laughing*

Y'know, there's a lot of bad shit going on in the world. From my home, my neighborhood, my state, country, the world. There's just baaaaad shit. I don't even watch the news and I know the world is filled with hateful acts. I'm sick and tired of hearing about "rights" and "wars", all the sub-categories of those, and all the categories they spawn. Between hate crime, gay discrimination, women's equality, gun rights, ISIS, crooked politicians, law-breaking teachers, moralistics, apologetics, blahblahblah, I just get zapped into negative oblivion.  I feel sorry for people who lock themselves into that mode of living. It seems to me, living in a world of news will disconnect you from people.

Right now, I don't CARE that there's a mosque being built in Anytown, USA. I DON'T care that a bad verdict was handed down by a judge and jury in a criminal case. I DON'T CARE that someone committed suicide and took out a bunch of people with him.   I don't care who gets botox injections or why everyone's giving backlash at some celebrity for a tweet.  Why does any of that matter to me, right now, in my ordinary life in Dallas, Texas? When it matters is when it'll matter. When the bomb drops on me, when Harry Styles shows up to ask my daughter out on a date (not yet, Harry. Wait 4 more years.), when pigs fly....

Is it bad that I like burying my head in the sand to humanity?That's for you to decide. Hell, you can even judge me and tell me so, but it will only isolate you and I.  The more you're confrontational, the more retractive I am, and that's who I am.

If you're inclined to police society, that's who you are. I don't get it, but you people serve a good purpose, for the most part. We can all agree that there are radicals and misunderstoods out there that push the Limits of Extreme. But if you're a policy maker, policy enforcer, rule maker, rule enforcer, authority of any kind, good on ya. I'll be the sheep. Baaaa.

I'm drawn to people who listen.
I'm drawn to people who empathize.
I'm drawn to people, who despite a disagreement, will respect me enough to honor my position.

What I DO care about is do my children feel loved by me? Am I bringing them up in a way they can look at the world with a compassionate soul? Am I equipping them with the tools they need to forage through rough relationships on all levels, including their relationship with Yours Truly.

What I do CARE about is am I being kind to you, one-on-one?
What I DO CARE about is love, compassion, connection.

And here I am, among others, who are just trying to live this life one day at a time. It's ordinary, definitely below that life I imagined as  youngster. It's a good life, and I'm right where I'm supposed to be *today*. I'm not out on a peace keeping mission or feeding the hungry; I'm not researching cures for disease, fighting crime or famous.

I gotta believe in the good of the world.
I gotta believe in the basic good of humanity.
I gotta trust my higher power who will protect me and my kids.
I gotta be me (and I'm always changing...).

I do.
I will.