Saturday, July 19, 2014

On Shame

Shame is one of those words I try not to utter in such a context of belittling or correcting a person, especially my children. I consciously choose to refrain from saying "shame on you". I have said, "what a shame" when certain kinds of crimes have been committed, or some sort of injustice that's occurred.

Shame, the feeling, is so raw, isn't it? I mean, could you feel any worse about yourself when someone who loves you says they're ashamed of you? Could you feel any smaller than when you're told you "shame on you"? 

Ugh.  Just typing it makes me feel disgusted - and disgusting! 

I've often wondered what purpose that word, that feeling, even plays in a lifetime?

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I recently attended a series of lectures given by a priest. He took one lecture to discuss the human feelings of anger, fear and guilt. He also talked about shame.




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Healthy shame.

Healthy.
Shame.

Healthy shame.

There's such a thing?

There's such a thing!

There is?

Doesn't quite compute -- yet.

But he opened the door for me. His words were enlightening. I'm not sure I understand - yet - what "healthy" shame is, but I like the idea of healthy anything being the mechanism to progress and growth....transformation. Conversion.

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What do YOU think it could mean? Feel free to leave an example or share a story!

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