By Which I Become More Defined

I dunno...

The more I think things are going to 'normalize' or 'simplify', the more complicated they are. Or is it me? Am I complicating things?

I think I'm a pretty easy-going chick. I would even call myself 'not high-maitenance'. I am a complicated woman, though. This I know for sure. But at the heart of me is someone who has immense hope, a vast curiosity, deep compassion and some other yadda yadda blah blah. This complicated part of me allows for too much second-guessing and self-doubt. Where is the confidence and clarity that's supposed to come with age?

*sigh*

I suspect I'm being pulled and pushed and stretched and prodded for good reason. I mean, I'm the cheerleading poster child for 'pain is growth' and 'trust the process'. Doesn't mean I like it. Doesn't mean it feels good. It is confusing.

I need wisdom.
And patience.
Acceptance.
Honesty and strength. Strength to be honest. Strength to say my peace (lovingly yet firmly) and not apologize for it.

St. Monica, pray for me.