Yet Another Layer of the Onion Peeled Away

Tonight was my last class of faith formation. I signed up to be an aide for an 8th grade class. For the previous 3 years, I was teaching 4 year olds. By the end of this year, I would consider myself a co-teacher. There were several nights where I was standing there, vulnerable, scared and generally feeling out of my element because fate would have it that *I* would have to lead the class. A few times, the real teacher would notify me last minute that she couldn't make it. So, instead of arranging for a sub, I just took the situation for what it was worth and made the most of it.

Thinking over the last 8 months or so, I reflected on how I have grown. I also reflected on my opinion or prejudgements of the kids in the beginning of the year versus the end. Wow! What a difference in opinion I have! And I am ever grateful that I have the openness to change opinions (some of you would call that 'being female' or 'womens perogative', and to you I say: Yeah, SO! ~~ just before I stick my tongue out at you.)

I was terrified of 14/15 year olds. I thought: they will disrespect authority. They won't participate in class discussions. They'll sense my fear and like a bear will eat me alive. On the first day, one girl asked, "uhh Miss, is this for 14 year olds? 8th graders?" I said enthusiastically all doe-eyed, "yes! it sure is!". She responds, "oh. Well, uhhh, I'm 18. I don't think I'm supposed to be here." I panick (she looked 18!). Then she busts out laughing and relieves my panic by saying 'just kidding Miss!" Grrrrr. So, with that experience, I was proven right, right?

I was wrong.

Very wrong.

These kids *displayed* the holy spirit to me and *each other*! During a prayer service one night in the youth room, we went outside, in the dark. We had a lit candle. We stood in a circle. Each kid prayed a heartfelt prayer *out loud*. They prayed for the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, for a family in our parish that recently suffered tragedy, for their friends and families, they prayed do better in math, reading, homework. They asked for patience. The asked for comfort. My pre-judgement I spoke of above had me pigeonholing them as "IF the even participate, they'll want to do it silently". During the school year, as we got to know one another better, they were interested in my story. The asked questions about my annullment, my baptism, etc. It was really cool to capture their interest. Then we played bible-themed hangman. hahahahaha

Thank God I was wrong! Thank you, Lord, for peeling back that next layer of my blinded spirit and bringing me still closer to You and allowing me to see another beam of light.

Of course, God might be going easy on me since it's my first time 'round the block officially (termed loosely) teaching. He's trying to make sure I'll come back.

Coming back next year is my crossroads right now. Granted, I would love to continue with these kids into 9th grade. Or, I could teach a whole new set of 8th graders. But, I miss my family. Which is the higher calling ~~ my motherhood or my discipleship? Either way I know I'm serving, being a witness and a steward. I'm just not sure; so I'll pray. Which brings me to another philosophy by which I have learned to live: pray twice as much as you fret.

Happy Summer! And to all you kiddos that made my first year of teaching 8th grade catechism: thanks for making it less scary. Good luck with high school. Come find me in chruch anytime! Love you all!

Besos y abrazos.....